Family and Friends Forum

I think whether guilty or innocent of a crime, everyone has a right to be treated compassionately and with respect for their mental health and that of their families.

I know the media and some individuals would like people who commit certain types of crime to perform a metaphorical pubic walk of shame, in some cases for the rest of their lives. This may be satisfying for the media and possibly also for some of their victims. What seems happen to many accused of sexual offending is that they and their families are paraded around via the media like circus animals, for the public to abuse and recoil from. It doesn't feel like something that should happen in a civilised society.

The problem with the Internet and social media is what used to happen as gossip in the tea room or at the pub now takes on a life of its own with hundreds of thousands of participants all around the world and the person's name and photo similarly shared all across the country/world.

Of course, it's the same with images of children which can equally be shared just as widely and quickly which is no doubt why these crimes are considered to be so serious.

I think the crimes and the public reaction are exacerbated by the Internet and social media and if these crimes are to be effectively reduced (sadly I'm assuming elimination is pretty much impossible) then there needs to be some hard thinking, and subsequent action, about how Internet igaes and social.media can be better controlled.

I have just found it hugely triggering and heard/read about friends laughing/being judgy about it all before there is any evidence of any criminal behaviour. Very difficult to sit and listen to it when they do not know our situation. (Arrested for images and still awaiting devices back after nearly 18 months) I am not defending Huw E, simply not judging until the police report is out. Wish the media would do the same. Can't work out if this huge media exposure is good for opening the public's eyes to the sheer scale of the porn addiction problem or not. It's certainly triggering for me and also for my OH, we are simply trying to cope with this dreadful situation. I find peoples black and white views incredibly upsetting and makes me worry for the future should everyone find out.

Social media certainly causes havac in so many respects. There's no answer as like it or not it's now a massive part of our lives. Can be a brilliant tool but as we've all found out has the ability to rip people apart.....

I am finding this really upsetting and have a lot of sympathy for his wife and family-the media now need to leave them alone to cope with the trauma of this and the serious mental health issues concerned.

Crucially the police have decided that there was no criminal offence involved and the tabloid concerned needs to be investigated but I doubt that will happen.

It is also triggering me as I'm meant to be meeting family members today who are unaware of our situation and who I know will be extremely judgmental regarding this-I'm considering not going and making some excuse but I've already done that fairly recently for another occasion and don't want to raise suspicion as to my absence but I can feel my anxiety growing now.

I do agree with BettyBoo, I have no doubt that HE and his family are going through hell atm, the hell that the majority of us have been and are still going through. I do think it is important to understand what has triggered his current mental breakdown, be it exposure to the press causing a great deal of shame and embarrassment to himself and his family or because he is suffering from a deep rooted addiction to porn that he has little control over, whatever the cause I sincerely hope he gets the love and support he is desperately in need of atm. My thoughts are also with this "young person" and his family who has now been able to feed a life threatening addiction, God knows the distress that his parents have been through whilst feeling powerless to do anything, they have reached out to save their son by whatever means possible and sadly if I were in their position I would do exactly the same. This whole saga has been totally triggering for me too, I did not sleep a wink last night as I went back again to those early days trying to figure out the complexity of this situation. I do believe there should be a duty of care for everyone involved and as BettyBoo says that is not always the case and we as families are left to navigate this minefield with little or no support. After horrific media coverage my husband has never been given the opportunity to explain anything and in the meantime people have just excised him out of their lives without even wanting to understand what happened, he has lost life long friends and family (as I have for standing by him), HE will when he is well will have a platform to explain what happened in his own words and not misconstrued words that the press use to report these cases, unfortunately for us we are not privileged enough to have that platform and suffer the consequences as a result. I did get the feeling last night that the BBC were more focused on the tabloid coverage and little else (just my thoughts and observations). Whatever happens this is another horrendous situation for all affected, we can all imagine what his wife, his elderly mother and his children are going through at this time. I pray for the day when the press will get their comeuppance and realise there is more than one person who has to pay the price for their tatty reporting.

I am sorry if I've offended anyone but my thoughts and feelings are all over the place today.
katie xx

I have a couple of things to say on this... I've noticed society have started to be way less tolerant of huge age gaps when it comes to romantic interactions, I've seen people be branded certain terms who are in their 30s for being with a 19 year old. It's conflicting to draw an opinion on because whilst I am glad that society are becoming more aware that age is super important in the majority of romantic relationship dynamics, the manner in which it's spoken about isn't helpful and often the context is missed out. People are far too quick to throw around certain terms and brand people names which I don't agree with or think is correct. It's getting to a point where everyone seems to be obsessed with the idea that everyone is a 'certain term'.

In this particular case I am obviously not aware of the ins and outs, the evidence etc. BUT what I will say is that I find it unfair. Whilst I do not wish anyone to ever have to go through what we have gone through or are still going through, I can't help but feel as though this individual has benefitted from their position to avoid a thorough investigation. An allegation has been made (and admitted pretty much from what we can see in the media/from his wife) that the person was in receipt of images from a 17 year old, which is legally iioc. The Met have said there will be no prosecution. Why? There can have been no forensics carried out, no scrutiny into pornographic history etc. to try and paint a picture like we've seen time and time again done here. Why is there no thorough investigation like any normal member of society would face? The police have wrapped up their investigation so quickly without allowing the CPS the decision on whether or not to charge. I think it angers me slightly because I've seen so many people on here have to fight, quite literally, for their lives and freedom yet this has been brushed under the carpet and whilst I feel sorry for his family, I feel more sorry for all of my friends on here who were not afforded the same level of consideration and both theirs and their loved one's mental health was not cared about, to the point that some have ended their lives. Maybe it's just me

I am abroad at the moment so clearly am only getting half a story in the news. I didn't realise that the police had wrapped up their investigation and put a lid on it?! I totally agree, that's not acceptable at all when we all have to wait years. How on earth can they be so sure so quickly that there is nothing criminal going on? That makes me angry too......

I agree, we had a mental health report and were awating a phystraic report when we ent to court but the jugde still gave my son a custiodial so what is special about HW.

I agree, he has got away with it because of who he is. Sorry but he's also playing the mental health card and then all the excuses will come. There aren't any and he should be treated like everyone else .... and if guilty sor and jail.

Can understand feelings on this. My personal impression (by my experience) is when a loved one is arrested they don't give a dot about the state of mental health of anyone....... it's just about conviction!

I think in this crime - as a large percentage of the men are drawn to this crime while leading a perfectly functioning life, mental health assessments are definitely needed. I remember calling an ambulance out as my son was in such a state and even they seemed irritated we had called them unnecessarily when they were 'busy'....... goodness me......

Only when going to prison was my son seen by the mental health team and has occasional appointments with them. But before was a complete void.

I do think privilege/fame has a lot to do with how the media have now let go. None of that if your an ordinary person - it's the complete opposite.

saying all this - I do feel sorry for how this has been handled by the media and the agony the family must be going through.

This issue is so emotive but yes there is no or almost no treatment, support or mh intervention before during or after conviction or imprisonment. Total waste. There needs to be a concerted effort and more knowledge all over so more people are not caught up. Men are being failed and since the internet it is so much worse. And because they are failed so are we the families.