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My Friday check in xx

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Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Fri July 14, 2023 5:42pmReport post

Evening Lovlies x

I hope you are all ok x

The highlights of my week so far , had a video call with my son on Tuesday so was able to show him the house and the garden while on the call x a bit of normality for him but heart wrenching for me at the same time x

Did a BBQ at work Weds morning, I work for an American company so July 4th is huge there bit as I had a few days of the week before due to the move we celebrated a week later bit it went down a treat, my and our secretary did the chatting and serving while one of our drivers did the cooking x

We went to get the burgers and sausages the day before at Tesco and while waiting at the checkout I saw that were selling shopping bags and one of them had a picture of the hungry catappiler so I just had to get it, as you know the nickname for my son is the same due to the amount he can devour on a visit :-) x

The weather has been absolutely pants this week a total washout but it's so strange as my heart is full of sunshine for the first time in over 3 years since the dreaded knock x

Thinking of you all as always xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2547 posts

Posted Fri July 14, 2023 6:09pmReport post

hi Upset - good to hear the sun shines for you. I've just had an excellent conversation with my boy, it SO helps to have a giggle..... just makes my day a whole lot better.....

As for me, I'm good - been quite an uneventful week (the best kind, I don't do dramas these days)!!! - I just want peace in my life, had enough dramas to last me a lifetime!

I send out my love to all and hope despite the weather forecast you will smile xxxx

Parkerpoo1

Member since
July 2022

252 posts

Posted Fri July 14, 2023 6:37pmReport post

Post deleted


Edited Thu December 21, 2023 10:08am

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Fri July 14, 2023 6:39pmReport post

Smile x

My dear friend so glad the call brought you some laughter x but at least the food will be a change x

I get the no drama and univentval is good xx

The new normal is all we can hope for but more importantly we are ok and so are our boys under the circumstances xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Fri July 14, 2023 6:48pmReport post

Parkerpoo1 x

Try to enjoy the BTTC a bitter sweet day but dont let anything dampen your day x

As.for your MIL it should totally sit with your OH to speak to her but I understand how difficult it is for both of you, they cant have an open conversation unless he has his own cell but he should be the one to speak to make the call not you

Just try to enjoy your 2 weeks off and make time for you xx

Dawn19

Member since
June 2023

147 posts

Posted Fri July 14, 2023 8:07pmReport post

My 18 year moved in with her boyfriend a few weeks ago. But she came home for a couple of days at the weekend as she had a falling out with her boyfriend. We hadn't told her about this situation, so we had to tell her, but she coped really well. My 15 year daughter was not happy about her being back though because she thought she was going to take over her bedroom, but the 18 year old one just slept on the settee downstairs. But with everything else going on, I just felt like I'm in the middle and I've been an emotional mess.

SoTired

Member since
March 2021

387 posts

Posted Fri July 14, 2023 8:34pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Sat July 20, 2024 11:11pm

Mandymoo

Member since
September 2021

295 posts

Posted Fri July 14, 2023 8:36pmReport post

Hi ladies

totally uneventful week and like Smile that's just how I prefer it now :-) it's just over 2 weeks since sentencing and for the last few days I haven't felt the need to check all the local papers. I hope I'm right in thinking it's not likely to be reported now. I'm going on a walking holiday next week with a friend so I'm hoping just for 5 days I can clear my mind for the first time in a long time xx

Webb89

Member since
July 2022

438 posts

Posted Fri July 14, 2023 8:48pmReport post

Hello friday catch up,

I am sorry to hear about stress with your children Dawn19. At one point my son was stressing as he could not get a job, my daughter was being made reduntant and my son who had a job was stressing as he thought he was unable to cope with. I become a wreck as I was trying to support all three at the same time. There was no one supporting me. So I understand how hard this must be for you. Please make sure you look after yourself.

my week was good. It was my birthday and my sons this week. We actually all went out for a family meal. It was very strange and not like it was before. My son agreed to go, but was quiet all through the meal. He obviously was not comfortable being out with his dad. He agreed only because of me, but i dont think i will ask again. My birthday was not the same, but better than last year as it was only a week after the knock! Spoke to my councillor this week and told her how this weekly check in really helps me focus in the moment. I am still bad for worrying about the future, something i cannot predict. So doing more exercises to learn to live in the now.
The only bad thing that happened Though was in work i bumped into some one i have not seen in years. As we got talking about former colleagues they went onto to talk about the person years ago went to prison for iioc. She was saying the p word and i had no idea how to respond i just froze. It just brought home to me what would they say if they knew. I do actually gossip about me. But i have tried to let it go and be more positive.



heres to a positive week. And i love that you bought that bag upset mum.

Edited Fri July 14, 2023 8:50pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Fri July 14, 2023 9:02pmReport post

Ahh SoTired

So good to hear from you hun xx

Aww I bet he looked bloody amazing hope his night went great xx

The move was so tiring but it has been a godsend and I feel like the me before the knock if that makes sense x

How are you xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Fri July 14, 2023 9:06pmReport post

Dawn x

Bless her I can imagine how hard it has been but look at it this way

Your 18 year old has grown since leaving home but she knows you are there for her and your 15 year old has got used to her own space it will work out in the end x

It must have been hard telling her but she needed to know xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Fri July 14, 2023 9:11pmReport post

Mandymoo x

Please dont torture yourself on checking the media it is what it is honestly x hopefully it wont be reported x

Enjoy your walking holiday, I hope it is somewhere beautiful and remember when out in the open space its time for you to remember how incredibly strong you have been and enjoy finding the person you are xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Fri July 14, 2023 9:15pmReport post

Webb89

Happy belated birthday wishes hun x

As strange as it was to be all together it is another step forward on this journey x

We don't ask.for anything but appreciate any small gesture xx

Flower

Member since
February 2023

103 posts

Posted Sat July 15, 2023 10:26amReport post

I was away with in-laws for the last week and very emotional. I kept thinking what if they knew. What if they did not support. What if they disowned us. What if it is the last time we are away. What if. What if. I spent every day getting on and every evening wiping tears. Felt that I wasn't fitting in and I wasn't liked anyway. All that's happening (or nothing happening rather waiting) still chips your confidence away. I'm feeling down again. It rained everyday and my precious puppy was relentlessly bullied by the bigger dogs. Glad we are back at home now so I can wallow in my own space.

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Sat July 15, 2023 10:31amReport post

Flower x

You will in time blossom again I promise xx

Our minds are our own worst enemy and the constant what it's can take over but it is out of our control

Deep breath, be kind to yourself, a day at a time that's all we can do xx

Hugs sent as always x

rainyday52

Member since
April 2023

447 posts

Posted Sat July 15, 2023 10:53amReport post

Hi everyone and it's so good to catch up with everyone's news here. It reminds me of a verse in the good old bible 'Laugh with your friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. ' Only trouble is that the verse before tells you to 'bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath' which made me stop and remember all the times this week that I've said the F word about certain people!!!!

High point this week was going to the theatre with a good friend to see Mrs Doubtfire which was really entertaining apart from a few moments when I had a little cry as of course it's about a man not being with his children which is where our son finds himself. We then had a meal and prosecco, got to Victoria to find our train cancelled so had to find a pub for more alcohol whilst waiting. Such a hardship :)

Low point was police rejecting request from solicitor to change bail conditions (solicitor advised police that they are clearly not appropriate to the charges and can't be speculative). Next step would be taking it to court but the dilemma is, if it succeeded, would SS get very heavy handed with us having our grandchildren here if our son was now allowed to stay overnight too - he might end up having to stay elsewhere anyway which would still be costly (he has to use Airbnbs etc as we are new to this area so have no friends or family who could help out) and we'd have paid solicitor's fees for nothing. I find the helplessness in all this so stressful.......

I'm so sorry for people with weekend plans for outdoors with this wild and windy weather so hope your plans go ahead or that you find some fulfilling and enjoyable (and distracting) things to do instead.

Lots of love xx

Edited Sat July 15, 2023 1:13pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Sat July 15, 2023 1:56pmReport post

Rainyday

Glad you enjoyed the show x how awful for you having to go in to the pub lol x I can imagine how difficult it must have been :-)

This journey really does take it out on you so it's good to be able to have you time x

The police are really something else! arnt they the OIC in my sons case was just awful xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2547 posts

Posted Sat July 15, 2023 3:34pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Wed July 19, 2023 4:04am

Mandymoo

Member since
September 2021

295 posts

Posted Sat July 15, 2023 3:47pmReport post

Smile - our OIC took a dislike to me simply because I asked questions and didn't just accept what they were saying. My trust in the police now is rock bottom x

rainyday52

Member since
April 2023

447 posts

Posted Sat July 15, 2023 6:09pmReport post

Upset, Smile and Mandymoo - surely there can't be 3 more OICs like our son's????? (I've tried to remain anonymous by not stating the OICs gender but at least from one of your replies it could be the same one!) Like you we have asked questions and queried stuff - nothing more than that and always polite but I do wonder if that is behind the unpleasantness. My OH was a police officer and I asked him if he showed his dislike for offenders or their families in his treatment of them and he assured me he didn't, in fact he would have got into trouble. He says that nowadays career officers want to have a go at lots of different jobs for their CV so will jump from role to role just to look good and they get swift promotions with no proof that they are equipped for the job. It's why he resigned in the end as he had worked hard over many years in an area with lots of problems and in fact won an award for services to the local community, he was really well loved. Then a career Inspector took over and told him off for not getting enough convictions (my OH thought his job was to prevent crime!) so he decided he'd had enough!!!

Edited Sat July 15, 2023 6:09pm

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2547 posts

Posted Sat July 15, 2023 9:21pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Sun July 16, 2023 7:02am

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2547 posts

Posted Sun July 16, 2023 7:06amReport post

Any respect I had for the police - after this experience - has completely gone. We are a law abiding family and my my did they milk our innocence.