Behaves like nothing's happened
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I've seen similar posts to this. Son is behaving like nothing had happened since his arrest and while he waits for the outcome of the investigation. Is this normal? I know that opens a can of worms on "normal". If anything, he's got more bravado than usual. He goes on about problems he has dealing with another department at work. Today I've been getting texts moaning about his pay and asking my opinion on him seeking a pay rise. My opinion is that he should keep his bleeping head down and not annoy anyone, especially as, once this goes to court, he'll probably lose his job. My life is in tatters pretending to those who don't know that everything is normal - that word again.
When he locked himself out of his flat last week with no hope of contacting the letting agent for 2 days, it didn't even occur to him that he couldn't possibly stay at my house. He didn't know that I booked a hotel room for him on my way over to pick him up. As it was, sheer desperation meant I was able to find a way to get into said flat. My new nickname is Mcguyver Mum. In any other circumstances, that would be funny...
When he locked himself out of his flat last week with no hope of contacting the letting agent for 2 days, it didn't even occur to him that he couldn't possibly stay at my house. He didn't know that I booked a hotel room for him on my way over to pick him up. As it was, sheer desperation meant I was able to find a way to get into said flat. My new nickname is Mcguyver Mum. In any other circumstances, that would be funny...
I'm in exactly the same place. My son is just carrying on like nothing has happened. Still falling out with people at work. I wonder if they think this is the last chance to be normal? Once it's out they won't know what has hit them x
Meanwhile me and husband have all plans on hold for the next 6 months to a year while he's buying gig tickets and making travel plans to said gigs. What's really really weird is that he'd never do that on his own usually. Husband despairs. I suggested it's a last chance to do stuff before normal life goes total t*ts up for good.
I agree. It's bury the head in the sand time until they have to face it. When I have tried to talk he just shuts me down. I just keep bursting into tears most days and it's honestly turned my life upside down yet he sees none of it x
Hello,
i can’t help but read these posts and I just want you both to know by reading what your saying, I know it’s easy to think once it’s all out that it’ll go tits up and obviously i don’t know the severity of what both your sons did, however when my dads case went public it did feel like the end of the world but it’s not, and you’lol be surprised how little people genuinely know or even care. A lot of people do just mind there own business or even try to understand! My dad used to get up go work and live everyday as normal but sometimes that is the only thing you can do! Xxx
i can’t help but read these posts and I just want you both to know by reading what your saying, I know it’s easy to think once it’s all out that it’ll go tits up and obviously i don’t know the severity of what both your sons did, however when my dads case went public it did feel like the end of the world but it’s not, and you’lol be surprised how little people genuinely know or even care. A lot of people do just mind there own business or even try to understand! My dad used to get up go work and live everyday as normal but sometimes that is the only thing you can do! Xxx
What he's done is highly likely to end in a prison sentence and I live where everyone knows everybody and no-one forgets. I've seen it myself in the past. I live near a school. I live in a road with loads of young kids with parents who are going to demand answers when questioning their children's past safety, as I would have done myself. I'm angry with him for the fact I have to break it to his sister at some point and that I will have to ask her singe very serious questions about anything that might possibly have happened to her. I love him. He's my son. But my relationship with his has forever changed as he is not the person I thought he was. At least, there is a side to him that I didn't think existed and which appalls me. The fact that me and and husband are struggling to come to terms with this as well as work out how and when to let those close to us know before they read it in the press. That this is something we raised and regardless of not blaming ourselves, we still question parenting decisions and turning points that headed in this direction.
I love him but this side of him disgusts me. I'll support him where I can but I believe anything the legal system throws at him he deserves. This is my baby. I remember the day the pregnancy test was positive and I was so excited to become a mum. I worked hard to protect my children from the abusive upbringing I had. I didn't envisage for a second that the world might need protecting from my child.
And against coming to terms with this, I get angry texts from him that the sales department has let him down at work again. Which makes me want to throw my phone across the room and scream till my lungs burst.
I love him but this side of him disgusts me. I'll support him where I can but I believe anything the legal system throws at him he deserves. This is my baby. I remember the day the pregnancy test was positive and I was so excited to become a mum. I worked hard to protect my children from the abusive upbringing I had. I didn't envisage for a second that the world might need protecting from my child.
And against coming to terms with this, I get angry texts from him that the sales department has let him down at work again. Which makes me want to throw my phone across the room and scream till my lungs burst.
Sorry Evie. That's not a poke at your kind words. I'm just so angry and upset at him sometimes and this is the only place I can vent. Thank you for taking the time to say what you did. I'm grateful for any support I can get xxx
Nooo not at all! I completely understand where your coming from, it’s horrible not one of us wanted to be in this situation and it’s us who has to pick up all the pieces. You have every reason to be hurt and angry and you’re also right to feel love towards your son. I feel all those towards my dad, I try and understand that it’s an addiction but I always think it is such a selfish act and they must of known they was doing wrong! Everyone is going to have there opinions, and it’s so easy for me to tell you don’t worry about the bad opinions because I don’t listen to people who tell me that. But this is NOT something you have done, this is completely out of your control. You’re obviously a fantastic mum, you’re also only human and can only do so much! None of this is your fault, and I get what your saying about the moaning about other things when what they’ve done is 100000 times worst! You’ve just got to remember you will get through this, everyday will get easier you’ll have better and worst days! It’s just the waiting game it’s so tedious and then the publicity, but you will be okay because you have too. Xxxxx
Hi there, Evie, can I just say how impressed I am at how far you have come? I don't post much but I remember when you first posted about your dad and everything coming out in the press.
Thanks Evie for your posting. I'm not sure what my son has done but we live in a small town where everyone knows everything and has an opinion. My heart wants to believe that we'll be ok but my head thinks differently. All I know is that his computer and phone were confiscated. I have two jobs and one is working with children. I know that if the worse happens I don't think I'll be allowed to continue in that role. I feel exactly like you Mandy. I may have said this before but I got so upset when people were talking about baby scans at work. I honestly feel like I'm grieving for the son I should have had. I question my parenting all the time. I'm just terrified for the future and tears come far too easily these days. But thanks again Evie. I wish I could see into the future x