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JulieM

Member since
July 2023

76 posts

Posted Sun July 16, 2023 12:58pmReport post

I have responded to a few posts here, but I thought I'd set up an Intoductory Post in case new members like me wanted to make an initial post somewhere specific. I hope folks don't mind me doing this.

I do have an introductory post somewhere, but I think it's buried in a thread, and I don't know where!

My OH was arrested after spending a few days down the dark and twisted rabbit hole which started on a fetish site. He never voiced any interest in fetish stuff to me. He says he wandered all this out of morbid curiosity and not a desire to actively get involved in anything.

While he was in police custody back in December 2021, I had to drop everything at work and leave my team of trainees to fend for themselves. I was greeted at my house by a van full of police and a sniffer dog trained to find anything that can store data. I had no idea that was even possible. I also had no idea why they were searching the house, and the PO in charge of the search wouldn’t tell me. He said 'read the search warrant '. I felt sick when I read the reason why. I think I went into a mild form of shock. They must have been in the house at least 3 hours and seized our laptops, his ancient pc, his camera, external hard drives and data cards.

When my OH got home (I have no idea how) he looked traumatised and sheepish.

Jump ahead, and there was basically no contact from the police or CPS until earlier this year when he got the letter saying there was enough evidence to proceed. He's been to Magistrates where they decided it was worthy of Crown Court. On Monday he has his plea hearing and trial is in January. He's been charged with 7 offences of which he's pleaded Not Guilty to 2 - the copying of over 1,000 images of bestiality (that was even news to him) and facilitating which comes from his online chat with a 'father' (police) over the span of a few days. He's pleaded Guilty to the Cat A - C images, although he says he was sent the images by a random guy. Supposedly there's a huge amount of images. Also distribution. He sent the undercover police an image of a child.

Anyway, I'm wondering who the hell is this man I've spent almost a decade with? We have no kids. I think he's possibly a suicide risk. His past has been traumatic. He was a victim of incest from the age of 13 and was also raped as a student in college. His family are shit. His Dad (ex copper) thinks he's made up the incest story and should have been 'man enough ' to fight off his rapist at college. I am his only relationship and his place of safety. To abandon him would probably destroy him. He has no one else.

If you've gotten this far, I want to thank you for reading my sorrowful journey so far.

Edited by moderator Mon July 17, 2023 9:27am