No one wants to talk
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While our life is going well I still feel quite isolated. People have tired of talking about this issue, or they just dont want to talk about these difficult subjects. I understand my husband is the one who needs the help and support and I'm so glad he has it but there really is nothing for partners. Professionals say I need to talk more to a friend but this isn't a subject anyone wants to talk about. You cant really say to friends can we meet up for coffee to chat about porn addiction, having a partner on the sex offenders register. And if you do people say stuff that just reinforces the fact they just dont understand. If I do talk to people I feel anxious after worrying that maybe they didn't want to about all this. I'm wondering if its worth paying to see a counsellor again, but it feels a bit sad that I need to pay someone just to listen to me. Is it better to just try to not to talk about all this anymore, just keep putting on friends or pay for a counsellor?
I feel exactly the same as you Maria. It would be so helpful to be able to discuss these things or listen to someone going through the same thing. It would be so helpful to be able to meet up. I don’t want to wear my friends out and they have been good, but no-one except us knows what it is like to be in our position. I often feel there is far more tailored help for the offender than for the supportive partners. This forum is excellent, but nothing beats actually talking to someone in a shared situation.
Hi Maria & Madeleine
yes I totally agree with you both! I really wish there was a group for us partners, wives, etc.
i have only told 2 friends, so my other friends know nothing about what has happened a year ago this month. It is so hard and almost surreal as well, pretending everything is ok, when every day i feel I am carrying this awful burden.
i guess at least we have this and it is a big help.
Mabel x
yes I totally agree with you both! I really wish there was a group for us partners, wives, etc.
i have only told 2 friends, so my other friends know nothing about what has happened a year ago this month. It is so hard and almost surreal as well, pretending everything is ok, when every day i feel I am carrying this awful burden.
i guess at least we have this and it is a big help.
Mabel x
Sometimes I still really need to talk but sadly my friends didnt stick by me. I was told my life was "too dramatic". I didnt talk about much to them, felt uncomfortable. It's been 4 years and the black cloud is back. It's super hard x
This really resonates with me, after a year most people think I'm over it,, if only!!
I don't like to keep troubling my friends so I tend to use the stock answer of 'I'm fine' to anyone who asks!
2nd batch of counselling and she made me see that I need to confine in people I trust do I text a few people and was completely honest with them about how I was. They have been amazing, very again, and are getting me through a really tough time, again!
I do wish we could meet, then would ask know what we're going through because as fantastic as people are, they do not know the emotions, the stress and the hopelessness of the situation.
I've going to London for the day with both my boys and we're going to see a show so today is a good day and hopefully the years will only be because the show is sad in places!!
Much love to you amazing, strong warriors xx
I don't like to keep troubling my friends so I tend to use the stock answer of 'I'm fine' to anyone who asks!
2nd batch of counselling and she made me see that I need to confine in people I trust do I text a few people and was completely honest with them about how I was. They have been amazing, very again, and are getting me through a really tough time, again!
I do wish we could meet, then would ask know what we're going through because as fantastic as people are, they do not know the emotions, the stress and the hopelessness of the situation.
I've going to London for the day with both my boys and we're going to see a show so today is a good day and hopefully the years will only be because the show is sad in places!!
Much love to you amazing, strong warriors xx
its a year on from these messages I hope things have improved for you all. I still wish and think there should be more out there for us, we need to talk about it. Has anyone any advice about this xx big hugs xx
Hi everyone I joined this club 2 weeks ago and it's hell. I am terrified to speak to anyone of my friends as they all have children and well I know it won't go down well. Why would it? My hearts broken as I know my relationship is over. I'm grieving for the future I thought I was going to have after countless heartbreaks. I'm just done with it all. I think all of you are amazing strong women, some mothers, some wives, continuing with day to day life trying to be as normal as can be for your children, jobs etc whilst carrying this huge burden of a secret. I don't know how you've done it I take my hat off to everyone of you
Yaz x
Yaz x