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Always angry.

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EA

Member since
August 2022

122 posts

Posted Tue July 18, 2023 10:46pmReport post

How do people deal with their anger?



I'm so fricking angry at him. All the time. He's ruined our lives and I'm so angry all the time. I hate seeing happiness and I hate when things seem normal.



I resent him so much and the way that the kids still think he's some magical person who can do no wrong.



I want to leave but it'll kill my daughter. I think if she was given the choice she would choose him which would kill me.



I'm so sick of lying to the kids to protect them and being the only on who's parenting because of his guilt. He made a mistake and we're all paying for it and I'll never trust a single person ever again.



I feel like if I get through this and he's allowed back he'll only do it again and I wouldn't be able to live through this again. I'm barely surviving now.

Edited Tue July 18, 2023 10:50pm

JulieM

Member since
July 2023

76 posts

Posted Tue July 18, 2023 11:01pmReport post

I feel for you, especially as you have children and the mixed emotions you must be feeling. I'm overrun with anger too at this point of the journey. It's a completely expected and acceptable emotion to feel considering what happened to you, your relationship and your family. Where are you on your journey? Where is your OH in terms of court, trial, etc?

EA

Member since
August 2022

122 posts

Posted Wed July 19, 2023 12:21amReport post

Hiya thanks for commenting.



Were about 10/11 months in and waiting for devices to be checked still. He has convenient amnesia so I don't really know or trust anything :(

K4

Member since
October 2022

611 posts

Posted Wed July 19, 2023 6:06amReport post

I absolutely hear you. The anger, the lies, the burden always falling on me not him.



I don't know how old you are, but I am going to look into HRT to help deal with this. Apparently the younger you start this the better.



in the mean time, I hope you find a plate to smash or pillow to punch



xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2399 posts

Posted Wed July 19, 2023 7:24amReport post

EA

I couldn't just read you post and not comment, I cant imagine this journey and having young children, it is my son who has offended so different to your journey x

If not already done so reach out to your GP

There are several charities that you can also reach out to who can offer advice and support there is a link here somewhere I will try to find it for you

Not much advise but wanted to let you know you are not alone and are incredibly strong xx

Lola53

Member since
May 2021

269 posts

Posted Wed July 19, 2023 10:40amReport post

EA, I totally understand your anger. In my case, it's my son who's the offender but my anger at him, and the world, was ENORMOUS. I wanted to scream and break things. We're post sentencing now and back to some normality so I want to tell you that the anger does recede somewhat - I can't say it's gone totally, but I no longer want to punch everyone!

It's also OK to feel angry, given what they've done to our lives xx

Louise74

Member since
June 2023

45 posts

Posted Wed July 19, 2023 5:34pmReport post

Hi Ea,



I completely understand your anger, we've all been there! It's so hard to accept the complete injustice and unfairness of the situation you're in. Don't try to swallow down your anger or else it'll never go, what you resist persists.

I found that writing a letter to my person calling him every name under the sun and describing in detail what I'd like to do to him really helped. Obviously don't give it to him because that would achieve nothing, burn it. For some reason watching all those angry words burn and turn to smoke had a real calming affect on me. Now you'll probably have to do this multiple times, with me it was usually after another unforeseen consequence reared it's ugly head, but it definitely does help in the moment and for the longer term.



Writing everything down that's in your head gives you an opportunity to express your feelings and frustrations freely and productively without fear of judgement or consequences.



Just remember that you've every right to be angry, so don't judge yourself for your feelings. Just allow them and know that you won't feel like this forever.