Fertility Treatment
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Hi has anyone had fertility treatment while or after their partner is/was on SOR?
My partner was convicted in 2020 of IIOC and SOR 2 years. He was arrested in 2016 (it took 4 years from arrest to conviction) and the offences were before I even met him in 2014. So nearly a decade ago.
He has completed 2 years probation, community service and attended counselling. He had a great relationship with his probation officer.
We are going to go down the fertility treatment route and I know there is a Welfare of a child form to complete and I was wondering if anyone has had IVF or IUIs while going through this?
We have no living children sadly so SS have never been involved to assess us.
Thank you in advance. I hope you are all doing OK, whatever stage you're at x
My partner was convicted in 2020 of IIOC and SOR 2 years. He was arrested in 2016 (it took 4 years from arrest to conviction) and the offences were before I even met him in 2014. So nearly a decade ago.
He has completed 2 years probation, community service and attended counselling. He had a great relationship with his probation officer.
We are going to go down the fertility treatment route and I know there is a Welfare of a child form to complete and I was wondering if anyone has had IVF or IUIs while going through this?
We have no living children sadly so SS have never been involved to assess us.
Thank you in advance. I hope you are all doing OK, whatever stage you're at x
I have not gone via IVF, but when my partner was going to know his PO they talked about me and future kids.
The PO mentioned there was nothing stopping us from having kids, but he did say that my partner would have to leave home for at least the first year of our child's life....I personally could not cope with that.
We haven't pursued having kids, especially while he is still on the SOR. He has another 7 years on the register...
I would personally suggest asking the PO, and maybe SS to see what the outcome could be. It might be a plan would need to be in place and he can love here with you etc. But for us it was deemed that my partner would have to be away from the household (despite he isn't a contact offender).
The PO mentioned there was nothing stopping us from having kids, but he did say that my partner would have to leave home for at least the first year of our child's life....I personally could not cope with that.
We haven't pursued having kids, especially while he is still on the SOR. He has another 7 years on the register...
I would personally suggest asking the PO, and maybe SS to see what the outcome could be. It might be a plan would need to be in place and he can love here with you etc. But for us it was deemed that my partner would have to be away from the household (despite he isn't a contact offender).
I don't understand Majesticyopaz how a probation worker could make that kind of decision? Only a court can ultimately decide that ..(or bail conditions but they can be challenged in court if you've got the money). Just curious how they came to tell you that?
I wouldn't say that what they've told you/your person is correct if it hasn't been ordered within court
I wouldn't say that what they've told you/your person is correct if it hasn't been ordered within court
My partner and I were a matter of days away from starting IVF - Everything was booked, when I found out he was being charged (he hadn't told me he was under investigation). We were told we could not continue with the fertility treatment. For us to continue we would need sign off and approval from various parties that they didn't think he was a risk to our potential future child.
Because of my age and egg count, we will never be able to have children. He is currently in prison. Even if we were younger and I didn't have a low egg count, I think it would have been a long journey. He has a life time SOR and SHPO.
I don't want to say it's not possible, but there are safe guards in place. Just as many parents have to do a lot of work to have the father home, a lot of work would need to be done prior to fertility treatment.
I'm sorry you are in this position. For me it was heart wrenching on so many levels - The offences, the betrayal and the grieving for what could have been and coming to terms with that I wouldn't become a mother if I chose to stay.
Because of my age and egg count, we will never be able to have children. He is currently in prison. Even if we were younger and I didn't have a low egg count, I think it would have been a long journey. He has a life time SOR and SHPO.
I don't want to say it's not possible, but there are safe guards in place. Just as many parents have to do a lot of work to have the father home, a lot of work would need to be done prior to fertility treatment.
I'm sorry you are in this position. For me it was heart wrenching on so many levels - The offences, the betrayal and the grieving for what could have been and coming to terms with that I wouldn't become a mother if I chose to stay.
From my experience - On the forms that are completed as part of IVF there are some specific questions that need to be answered and one of these is around convictions ( I can't remember if it was more specific than that).
This will trigger the involvement in various agencies to agree if the treatment can or can't go ahead.
This will trigger the involvement in various agencies to agree if the treatment can or can't go ahead.
Hi inthismoment,
I think it was a general conversation my partner had with his PO, very early on into his two year suspensed sentence. Tbh we are not likely to want to have kids anyway. My partner mentioned he has had the snip anyway, and the PO said he could still harvest if we wanted kids...so it was confusing because on one hand we were made to think he was a threat to children, and then a comment like that sounded like they think he deserves to have more kids? (He has two from a previous relationship).
If we were serious with wanting kids I would have checked with SS if the 'year away' comment was correct. This was all before I had this forum and so back then I took the PO's word as Gospel....
I think it was a general conversation my partner had with his PO, very early on into his two year suspensed sentence. Tbh we are not likely to want to have kids anyway. My partner mentioned he has had the snip anyway, and the PO said he could still harvest if we wanted kids...so it was confusing because on one hand we were made to think he was a threat to children, and then a comment like that sounded like they think he deserves to have more kids? (He has two from a previous relationship).
If we were serious with wanting kids I would have checked with SS if the 'year away' comment was correct. This was all before I had this forum and so back then I took the PO's word as Gospel....