Family and Friends Forum

I certainly have.

First let me reassure you it's nothing like what you read or see on TV.....

At first you'll no doubt be took to a local prison if your held in custody. You will be on a separate wing. After a short period you will be moved to another suitable prison, in my sons case he has been in three prisons that house sex offenders only.

He has never felt threatened or intimidated at any time, obviously situations can arise, usually it's a domestic issue and someone could 'kick off' , but if you keep your nose clean the staff treat you with respect. After all they have a duty of care! The inmates do not discuss their crimes........

These Cat C's are mainly focused on training, you can get paid work (not much £'s) and education. Most have gyms and sport opportunities. The cells can be single or doubles, you spend 'time out' where you can go outside or spend time with the other prisoners. 0bv you do have 'lock down time' , but you have a tv, if on enhanced status your allowed a radio/games consoles, even play a guitar. Each. prison is different with different regimes and facilities.

My son is a shy/nervous person and I was absolutely petrified when he went in prison but he's coped so well and I almost feel it's 'made a man out of him'. He works full time and gained 'enhanced' status Hopefully he'll go on a treatment programme soon.

My son will watch a prison programme/drama and always says "it's nothing like that" so please don't think your person will be attacked/beat up, situations we all fear. Don't get me wrong being in prison is not a walk in the park, there must be lonely sad times when you reflect on what you've done and the fears you must hold for the future.... plus everything works at snail-pace speed so very frustrating.

im sure other ladies will add to my post, fill in the gaps.

I don't post on here much these days but my OH is in prison so feel I should add my thoughts!

I agree with what Smile said, it is nothing like how TV shows it. If your person gets sent to prison immediately after arrest they'll be held in a local remand prison, but they will be on a separate wing, usually in a shared cell. Things were tricky there for us as everyone says they're innocent and the culture was quite fraught with anxiety. I was very worried he'd be beaten up whilst there but thankfully nothing happened.

After sentencing my OH was moved to a general cat B prison even though he is a cat C. He's on a wing for sex offenders only but as this is a smaller percentage of the main prison he doesn't have access to any meaningful education or sex offender courses. At the beginning I was worried sick for his safety, but I've learnt to deal with it and worry much less now. It almost feels like he's just away rather than in prison. He's settled into a routine, he works full time earning some money and spends his afternoons/evenings locked up in a single cell usually napping, watching tv or reading. He has an in cell phone which has been a god send as we can talk freely for hours late into the night, although it's bloody expensive! He got enhanced status as soon as he was eligible, and every day is the same so the time is going by quickly for him. Especially as he sleeps so much of the day away.

There have been some incidents as you'd expect but nothing too dramatic that he's seen for himself, it's more like being back at school with a bunch of immature boys who will kick off about stupid things. They do get shouted at by other wings if they walk past them, calling them names and shouting empty threats through open windows. He's felt a little intimidated by other inmates on his wing but not because of his crimes, but because of general prison life and the gang culture there can be. Usually it's men wanting to take other's food or steal belongings, but my OH tries to keep to himself and not engage with anything dodgy. People do sometimes talk about their crimes in my OH's prison but out of choice, not because someone's tried to force the answer out of them, and they all love to gossip. There are some interesting characters in prison but a lot are just trying to get through their sentence without any issues. Prison has been an eye opener for my previously very sheltered OH

Very true Lucy - My son said you quickly learn who to avoid. He said it's pointless kicking off as you just get the privileges took away and get downgraded, more serious incidents mean more time inside.

I think they do look out for each other, my son has befriended an 'old lad' and he helps him out. Plus they share food etc. my son gets help from others with written stuff as he is dyslexic..

I suppose it's like here on the outside, a mix of people.... some you like and some your cautious of!

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The food in my OH's prison is dire but you can order things on canteen like packet noodles, pasta, crisps, tins, fresh fruit etc. There are many people who refuse to eat the prison food so make their own meals using kettles, but it's expensive. As for sharing a cell it wasn't great but my OH got used to it, depends on your cell mate. The staff do try and pair people up who they think would get along, and you're allowed to swap cells once inside. And it can be helpful when you're new to the system to have someone there to guide you through the way things work inside. People do look out for each other, my OH was taken under the wing of a few guys who had been in there a while, it really is a mixed bag of people. As Smile said they do share food, lend DVDs around, play xbox games if someone has one. Him and his cell mate would try to time when they used the toilet for when the other was out of the cell for social or work, and I believe it was partitioned off with a shower curtain type thing. The showers in the remand prison were open but people generally wore their boxers unless they didn't care, so no one ever saw anything, and in his current prison there are partition walls like the showers in swimming baths. My OH's prison is relatively modern so not sure how bad some of the older ones are facilities wise. The worst part in that sense for my OH is the strip searches!

Prison will change someone but you have to hope for the better otherwise the system is well and truly broken. And it is supposed to exist for both punishment and reform so it's not meant to be that nice otherwise it wouldn't act as a deterrent. But the lack of meaningful support means it's just turning into a punishment and many people can come out the other end the exact same or worse unfortunately, I fear this will be the case for my OH if he doesn't get the mental health support he desperately needs

My son has shared with some great blokes and some irritating ones too. Having a single cell is much in demand.



The prison my son is in were army barracks. It's a communal loo block and showers, which isnt the best esp as at night you have to ring the bell! Bonus is his single cell and own phone.

Food there is dire and yes they supplement it with their canteen supplies. Amazing what you can cook in a kettle. They all buy different ingredients and one of the guys cooks up an amazing curry - yep in his kettle! He said the best food tends to be where it's cooked on site but where he is - it's bought in so not so good..... how I'd love to cook him a full roast with all the trimmings....he said he'd kill for a big mc!

I'm hoping my son will get more practical support on release, somewhere to live would be a good start!