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First meeting with social services

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Scaredmumof3

Member since
July 2023

100 posts

Posted Mon August 7, 2023 10:00amReport post

The knock was a few weeks ago now and SS have met with my person and the chidlren but not me, this is tomorrow.

I have 2 teenagers who are step children to my person - 1 boy, 1 girl and a preshooler boy who is ours.

I presume there is nothing really to be done tomorrow other than reassuring them that bail conditions being followed (no unsupervised contact) as my persons devices are still being searched for images (A and C). He is on bail until start of Oct.

I would like also to have conversations along the lines of once we know what he has on the computer and what the charges are going to be, how can we move forward so he can get to unsupervised i.e what will they need from us to support this.

Any advice much appreciated.

Edited Mon August 7, 2023 12:52pm

HelpMe

Member since
June 2022

140 posts

Posted Mon August 7, 2023 1:21pmReport post

Post deleted


Edited Thu August 10, 2023 1:45pm

Scaredmumof3

Member since
July 2023

100 posts

Posted Mon August 7, 2023 3:07pmReport post

He has had to move out and rent a room due to bail conditions.

but thank you - this is useful as time moves on it is easy to fall into a trap that this is normal now and therefore could come across as minimising to others.

I am bit worried when I hear comments from others about them telling you, you have to tell family and friends.

The end result is that I am a single parent even if we stay together.... I will be setting up my life as if I am on my own and he is a visitor who can only visit when I am there.

Edited Mon August 7, 2023 3:08pm

Livinginanightmare

Member since
May 2023

14 posts

Posted Mon August 7, 2023 8:37pmReport post

I hope it's OK to jump on here with a further question. What if your partner is adamant they haven't done anything knowingly (but that there is always the possibility that that they have accidentally downloaded something)? Do you have to lie and pretend you think they have done something? I'm really struggling with this, as it's not minimising to believe your partner whilst still following bail restrictions.

Scaredmumof3

Member since
July 2023

100 posts

Posted Tue August 8, 2023 2:48pmReport post

End result - there will be a plan to put all the children "child in need" and work on plans from there. They are assuming the worse (as in grooming or contact) until the police tell them otherwise. So no chance of him coming home any time soon. The lady who came over is just an assessment service so there will be conference to hand over to child in need who will work on the plan.

I am annoyed at my person as he his has been watching live porn and hadn't told me or thought to tell me there were adult chat rooms / live action / interactions online with sex workers. This to me is another level of betrayal. He had told them, so I looked like an idiot when said I didn't think he had been in "chat rooms". This will also be a big red flag for them I suspect.