Where to start
Notifications OFF
Hi, I joined back in May, 1st time writing out story. Sorry if it goes on.
14/11/21 We had the knock I was at work my oh was at home with my children 2 are his, he called saying I need to get home. I was completely shocked like we all were. The sat me down and said there was an image and explain the photo, back in January our 3 year old came down stairs with blood (very small amount ) in his finger and near his bottom he is being assessed for autism as his older sibling on father side have this. It was covid so we took a pic of his bottom (this is the picture the house was walking about and I explained the situation. My oh was taken to police station and interview we both said the same thing. They took his phone and bailed him at his father's house 5 hours away.
14/12/21 the police called said he could come home and police said will be in touch when have phone back. Ss closed the case in January 22.
We fast forward to may 23 and I get a call from a ss saying they would like to speak to me and my oh about a referral they had received from the police about photos on my oh phone they said the police will be there as well, we turned up a week later for this meeting as everyone was busy. They police came in and looked at oh said we didn't want you here please leave which he did.
They went on to tell me there was pics on his phone from Cat a to cat d all from Internet they couldn't tell me how many but they were not of my children, I'm was in shock and cried alot thinking wtf.
I went to my oh and said think you need to start from the beginning, he was broken and told me when he was younger he was made to do things to his sister and pics where taken, he was physically and emotionally abuses all his life from his mum dad and step mum. He spoke to his sister 8 years ago about flash backs he kept getting she said she knows what he was walking about but wouldn't tell Jim who it was. My oh smoked a lot of weed up till the 1st knock and when he was completely stoned would try and search for these pics of him and this sister so he could find the person (he knows he wouldn't find it when thinking normally) he has ptsd boardline personality disorder and is the spectrum.
Ss come out to see me 4 days later and wanted to know what I was going to do with what the police had told me, I had research alot in that 4 days I also work in child protection and the moment I left that meeting I was supervising my oh with our children and mine. They seemed happy with what I said but said they were putting the children on a cin plan to do some work with them my Oh could stay living with us.
My oh still 11 weeks on still haven't had his second interview with the police which I find shocking as they were quick to do a referral to ss.
It's mad as I'm scared more now as I don't know if police will bail him here as his family have now turned on him as he said he was going to be honest about the abuse he has gone through and why he has flash backs We are all he has and I'm not minimising what he did at all, he has started counselling and goes to inclusion every week.
I don't know what ss will do when he gets charged as they have let him stay here knowing he has looked at imagines from cat a to cat d for 11 weeks and seeing my children every 3 weeks. No other professional have concerns over my children (like I'm sure your all the same )
Has anyone else had to wait this long after devices have come back?
Sorry for long message xxx
14/11/21 We had the knock I was at work my oh was at home with my children 2 are his, he called saying I need to get home. I was completely shocked like we all were. The sat me down and said there was an image and explain the photo, back in January our 3 year old came down stairs with blood (very small amount ) in his finger and near his bottom he is being assessed for autism as his older sibling on father side have this. It was covid so we took a pic of his bottom (this is the picture the house was walking about and I explained the situation. My oh was taken to police station and interview we both said the same thing. They took his phone and bailed him at his father's house 5 hours away.
14/12/21 the police called said he could come home and police said will be in touch when have phone back. Ss closed the case in January 22.
We fast forward to may 23 and I get a call from a ss saying they would like to speak to me and my oh about a referral they had received from the police about photos on my oh phone they said the police will be there as well, we turned up a week later for this meeting as everyone was busy. They police came in and looked at oh said we didn't want you here please leave which he did.
They went on to tell me there was pics on his phone from Cat a to cat d all from Internet they couldn't tell me how many but they were not of my children, I'm was in shock and cried alot thinking wtf.
I went to my oh and said think you need to start from the beginning, he was broken and told me when he was younger he was made to do things to his sister and pics where taken, he was physically and emotionally abuses all his life from his mum dad and step mum. He spoke to his sister 8 years ago about flash backs he kept getting she said she knows what he was walking about but wouldn't tell Jim who it was. My oh smoked a lot of weed up till the 1st knock and when he was completely stoned would try and search for these pics of him and this sister so he could find the person (he knows he wouldn't find it when thinking normally) he has ptsd boardline personality disorder and is the spectrum.
Ss come out to see me 4 days later and wanted to know what I was going to do with what the police had told me, I had research alot in that 4 days I also work in child protection and the moment I left that meeting I was supervising my oh with our children and mine. They seemed happy with what I said but said they were putting the children on a cin plan to do some work with them my Oh could stay living with us.
My oh still 11 weeks on still haven't had his second interview with the police which I find shocking as they were quick to do a referral to ss.
It's mad as I'm scared more now as I don't know if police will bail him here as his family have now turned on him as he said he was going to be honest about the abuse he has gone through and why he has flash backs We are all he has and I'm not minimising what he did at all, he has started counselling and goes to inclusion every week.
I don't know what ss will do when he gets charged as they have let him stay here knowing he has looked at imagines from cat a to cat d for 11 weeks and seeing my children every 3 weeks. No other professional have concerns over my children (like I'm sure your all the same )
Has anyone else had to wait this long after devices have come back?
Sorry for long message xxx
I'm so sorry to hear your story, especially the horrifying abuse your OH a d his sister were subjected to by the very people who should have kept them safe. This seems to be a common theme, that so many people are psychologically scarred from childhood abuse and find themselves turning to IIOC and communication.
As for the wait to get devices back. It took a year and a half to get my (now broken) laptop back, and I'm still waiting for my external modem.
As for the wait to get devices back. It took a year and a half to get my (now broken) laptop back, and I'm still waiting for my external modem.