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Stuggling with my emotions

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Kellym90

Member since
August 2023

2 posts

Posted Thu August 17, 2023 12:06pmReport post

New here, got the knock on monday, and i'm struggling since. 12 years together, married for nearly 2 and we have 2 kids. OH has had an isolated incident with sexual communication online that i've been told about from police and SS (awaiting investigation/forensics). I feel like if I tell anyone other than our parents and 1 friend who know then i'll be judged too. Struggling with the fact the kids will have a safeguarding alert on school/health care for something I haven't done and that school know about the incident. Has anyone done any of the family courses? Are they useful and what do they entail? Or has anyone been on any other support groups/websites? Has anyone been able to trust their OH again and worked through their relationship/marriage?

BaffledB

Member since
July 2021

876 posts

Posted Thu August 17, 2023 7:28pmReport post

Hey Kelly,

Sorry you have found yourself here but it will benefit and help you a lot along the way. I don't have much info to share about the kid side of things as I don't have any. But what I will say is, if you can, keep it to yourself as much as you possibly can for now. Whilst my partner was awaiting trial we were both also mindful of having nieces/nephews around and interaction with children in case it all blew up too. It's a long process and a rollercoaster of emotions, it's certainly not easy but there are many inspirational and strong people on here to help you through it xx

K4

Member since
October 2022

611 posts

Posted Thu August 17, 2023 7:38pmReport post

Hi Kelly,



sorry you're a member of this club. Your children are unlikely to be the only ones in their school who have experienced this. You will have SS involvement, but there are lots of things you can do to show you are a protective factor for your children.





lots of women here stay with their partners, my husband has moved out but we hope he will be allowed home eventually. He is not allowed to be unsupervised with our children yet, but he is still awaiting charges.



look after yourself, listen to the world according to the knock podcast as it takes you through all the stages and ask questions here. You will find answers to most questions here but the search tool is also very helpful.



big hugs



xx

Anxious mummy

Member since
February 2023

99 posts

Posted Thu August 17, 2023 11:08pmReport post

hi Kelly

so sorry you are in this position. The early days are so difficult. Take your time to decide who to tell. in the meantime just focus on the basics and process the shock. Get help from your parents and take all the help you can from them. I have been going through this for six months and feel your pain. It is so hard but it does get easier after those first few weeks. Its still very tough but not that awful sense of fear I had back in February. Thinking of you

SH9231

Member since
August 2023

52 posts

Posted Fri August 18, 2023 10:03amReport post

Hi,



I'm.so sorry to hear you're new to the club and I know this will bring a whole range of emotions and concerns. I'm just coming up to 4 years post knock, 2 years post sentencing and media exposure and I am still with my OH and we still live in the same house. I don't have kids so I can't help you with that bit but I'm sure lots on here can. Try the world according to the knock group as there are some great podcasts and blogs that will be a help for you. Just know that you aren't alone on this journey xx

Louise74

Member since
June 2023

45 posts

Posted Fri August 18, 2023 3:55pmReport post

Hi Kelly,

I'm so sorry you find yourself here, just know you're not on your own. The next weeks and months may be difficult but you'll find a strength and resilience you never knew you had. The ladies on this forum are so kind and helpful and we've all stood in your shoes and want to help. You just need to take one day at a time and live in the moment as best you can. Don't torture yourself imagining what may or may not happen in the future and be kind to yourself and look after your own well being and if that means being selfish then so be it. I've a Facebook support Group for ladies in a similar position, if you're interested in joining send me a message. Please look after yourself and remember that you're here through no fault of your own, and although no one wants to be here, it doesn't have to be the absolute hell that we imagine it will be. You will get through it xx