Fed up!
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My first post....
It's been 5 months since I got the knock and I feel worse now than what I did then.
I am standing by my OH we have been married for 18 years and he is a good man that has done a bad thing (although he denies actively looking for what he is being accused of).
Both my Mum and his are supporting him also and our children are too.
I always suffered from depression but have managed it and have grown a successful business. However, everything seems to be going wrong for me. I'm in tears most days and I've started getting panic attacks and hypoventilating.
I'm constantly exhausted mentally and physically even though I can sleep 8-9 hours a night.
I feel like I'm leading a double life trying to put on a positive attitude to the people around me that don't know what I'm going through but, underneath I'm crumbling.
I get extremely upset with everything as I feel my glass is so full that now I get panicky with anything I have to deal with.
I am on the waitlist for some counseling and CBT and I am now maxed out on my medication.
When does it start to get any better?
Thank you for reading...
It's been 5 months since I got the knock and I feel worse now than what I did then.
I am standing by my OH we have been married for 18 years and he is a good man that has done a bad thing (although he denies actively looking for what he is being accused of).
Both my Mum and his are supporting him also and our children are too.
I always suffered from depression but have managed it and have grown a successful business. However, everything seems to be going wrong for me. I'm in tears most days and I've started getting panic attacks and hypoventilating.
I'm constantly exhausted mentally and physically even though I can sleep 8-9 hours a night.
I feel like I'm leading a double life trying to put on a positive attitude to the people around me that don't know what I'm going through but, underneath I'm crumbling.
I get extremely upset with everything as I feel my glass is so full that now I get panicky with anything I have to deal with.
I am on the waitlist for some counseling and CBT and I am now maxed out on my medication.
When does it start to get any better?
Thank you for reading...
Hello BellaB, sorry you are here but well done for reaching out.
I felt like you did, and now I don't. I've had some therapy (privately) and I stopped comparing the life I now live vs the one I had taught I was going to live and that along my family with 'normal' families.
Everyone is fighting a battle, this is mine. If my husband smoked for years and was diagnosed with lung cancer would I say "well he brought that onto himself" and refuse to visit him at hospital? Absolutely not.
There are days I feel opposite of the above, but often I know where I stand and how I feel, by his side and protective (of him and entire family unit as whole).
I hope therapy helps you too, whatever that help may look like.
Hugs x
I felt like you did, and now I don't. I've had some therapy (privately) and I stopped comparing the life I now live vs the one I had taught I was going to live and that along my family with 'normal' families.
Everyone is fighting a battle, this is mine. If my husband smoked for years and was diagnosed with lung cancer would I say "well he brought that onto himself" and refuse to visit him at hospital? Absolutely not.
There are days I feel opposite of the above, but often I know where I stand and how I feel, by his side and protective (of him and entire family unit as whole).
I hope therapy helps you too, whatever that help may look like.
Hugs x
Thank you Flower x
BellaB your post hit the nail on the head for how I'm feeling, I'm lost and living in limbo too x