Ex partner
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Good morning everyone. I have been following this group for almost 2 years ( first time posting) My partner of 12 years was arrested for IIOC and to cut a long story short, he was later found to have recorded indecent images of my 2 daughters( non contact sexual abuse). He pleaded guilty and after 21 months he was sentenced to 2 years in prison ( 12 months of this on licence). He is appealing the sentence.
I totally understand that our stories are different, but, whenever I look on this forum to seek comfort or support, the majority of posts are aimed towards the support of the perpetrator, not the victims. Am I on the wrong forum?
Please please don't take this in any other way than how I intended it to be, and that was trying to work out why there doesn't seem to be support for victims.
Thank you for taking the time to read. ????
I totally understand that our stories are different, but, whenever I look on this forum to seek comfort or support, the majority of posts are aimed towards the support of the perpetrator, not the victims. Am I on the wrong forum?
Please please don't take this in any other way than how I intended it to be, and that was trying to work out why there doesn't seem to be support for victims.
Thank you for taking the time to read. ????
I'm so sorry you find yourself here and that your children are victims of this.
I think this forum is aimed more towards supporting secondary victims rather than primary.
Here is a list of support organisations for primary victims
https://www.avonandsomerset.police.uk/victims-witnesses-and-offenders/support-for-victims-of-child-sexual-exploitation/
I think this forum is aimed more towards supporting secondary victims rather than primary.
Here is a list of support organisations for primary victims
https://www.avonandsomerset.police.uk/victims-witnesses-and-offenders/support-for-victims-of-child-sexual-exploitation/
Thank you x
Post deleted by user
I think your situation is very different to many people on this forum in that your children are direct victims and I can imagine you are understandably trying to primarily process that, from what I've seen very few people on the forum have been in this situation 1. For their person to have progressed from viewing /sharing to creating images 2. Done so with their own family.
I don't want this in anyway to sound like you are not welcome here, but you sort of pose a good question - What support is there avaliable for parents of children that are victims? I imagine the processing of this is extremely difficult and requires specific support for you and your children. Have you spoken to the helpline?
I don't want this in anyway to sound like you are not welcome here, but you sort of pose a good question - What support is there avaliable for parents of children that are victims? I imagine the processing of this is extremely difficult and requires specific support for you and your children. Have you spoken to the helpline?
I think your situation is very different to many people on this forum in that your children are direct victims and I can imagine you are understandably trying to primarily process that, from what I've seen very few people on the forum have been in this situation 1. For their person to have progressed from viewing /sharing to creating images 2. Done so with their own family.
I don't want this in anyway to sound like you are not welcome here, but you sort of pose a good question - What support is there avaliable for parents of children that are victims? I imagine the processing of this is extremely difficult and requires specific support for you and your children. Have you spoken to the helpline?
I don't want this in anyway to sound like you are not welcome here, but you sort of pose a good question - What support is there avaliable for parents of children that are victims? I imagine the processing of this is extremely difficult and requires specific support for you and your children. Have you spoken to the helpline?
I've just come across this website. https://www.parentsprotect.co.uk/services-for-survivors.htm
Thank you.
Justice,
I am so sorry that you and your daughters went through that. I understand what you're saying as sometimes it can come across as though there is little thought for victims of these crimes because the main focus is on us here and our discussions around our pain and suffering as a direct impact of the crimes. There's not a single person on here who wouldn't give an arm to prevent any child being a victim of any kind of offence or harm, whether it be online, in person, emotional, verbal or physical. Many of us are desperate to work towards stopping these kinds of crimes happening and we all contribute to it in our own ways and actions. Unfortunately, you're not the only member who has had their children be involved in this kind of offence, hopefully they see this post and can reach out to you either here or privately so you can have some support from someone of similar circumstances. Please feel free to say whatever you wish about your situation and your feelings and ask for support because we are all here for you x
I am so sorry that you and your daughters went through that. I understand what you're saying as sometimes it can come across as though there is little thought for victims of these crimes because the main focus is on us here and our discussions around our pain and suffering as a direct impact of the crimes. There's not a single person on here who wouldn't give an arm to prevent any child being a victim of any kind of offence or harm, whether it be online, in person, emotional, verbal or physical. Many of us are desperate to work towards stopping these kinds of crimes happening and we all contribute to it in our own ways and actions. Unfortunately, you're not the only member who has had their children be involved in this kind of offence, hopefully they see this post and can reach out to you either here or privately so you can have some support from someone of similar circumstances. Please feel free to say whatever you wish about your situation and your feelings and ask for support because we are all here for you x
If you want to message - I'm happy to support you xxxx
I agree that all consider the victims.
it is different when your own child may be in the photo and shared. My sympathy will always be for the child. I can't support my ex but I made that decision at the knock.
Months later had to review images of other children not knowing that my children were also being discussed and compared digitally.
The agencies previously supplied are useful. But so is listening. Knowing what to look out for, knowing how to respond.. knowing how important it is when the children say "can I tell you something"... schools have been briefed, and so have I now.
my ex was not just images. It is complicated as it always is with these situations.
I am a leaver so happy to support but wanted to point that out for transparency. There are a few us about so hopefully others will reach out. But if you stayed you may feel it more suitable to be in contact with a remainer.
but I hope you are ok. I have to live with many facts as it wasn't just photos the other crimes were also real. So my ex is not my concern. The children are.
take care
it is different when your own child may be in the photo and shared. My sympathy will always be for the child. I can't support my ex but I made that decision at the knock.
Months later had to review images of other children not knowing that my children were also being discussed and compared digitally.
The agencies previously supplied are useful. But so is listening. Knowing what to look out for, knowing how to respond.. knowing how important it is when the children say "can I tell you something"... schools have been briefed, and so have I now.
my ex was not just images. It is complicated as it always is with these situations.
I am a leaver so happy to support but wanted to point that out for transparency. There are a few us about so hopefully others will reach out. But if you stayed you may feel it more suitable to be in contact with a remainer.
but I hope you are ok. I have to live with many facts as it wasn't just photos the other crimes were also real. So my ex is not my concern. The children are.
take care
Hi, I just had to write a reply to your post as I am in a very similar situation to you. My ex partner took indecent images of my daughter when she was about 13yrs old, she is 20 now. ( He is not her father). It was a massive shock and we've been through a rollercoaster of emotions. We had the knock about 14 mths ago and are yet to have charges made as forensic retreaval has taken so long. If you would like to chat please message me back.
Hi, and I wish you strength and serenity as you navigate this nighmarish journey. As others say, the impact on the victims is at the very heart of the relentless torment that I now live with as a result of being associated with a perpetrator.
In regard to support for victims and their families, I know that Acts Fast and Circles offer specialist support and resources of various kinds. I haven't engaged with them myself, but I understand that Barnadoes also offer specialist support in this area. Is your social worker able to offer any guidance or advice on relevant support (in my experience, the answer was a resounding 'no' - hopefully your experience is better!).
In regard to support for victims and their families, I know that Acts Fast and Circles offer specialist support and resources of various kinds. I haven't engaged with them myself, but I understand that Barnadoes also offer specialist support in this area. Is your social worker able to offer any guidance or advice on relevant support (in my experience, the answer was a resounding 'no' - hopefully your experience is better!).