Family and Friends Forum

Hi JB72.

Needless to say, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I remember when the police came to our house; it felt horribly invasive as they went through our home and removed items at will. It was all very surreal - the kind of thing that happens on TV, not in my life.

If your husband really hasn't looked at images of anyone underage then the police will find no evidence therefore he cannot be charged. If he has knowingly spoken to anyone underage in a sexual manner then this will be perused, regardless of whether he tried to meet them, because he has broken the law. Depending on what is found depends on whether in November he is allocated a court date or re-bailed pending further investigations.

Whilst advice may be hard for you to hear; try to remain open minded and remember that your husband may not be ready to tell you the truth about exactly what has happened. Patience is difficult during this time but a lot more of the story may unfold soon.

I hope what I've said is of some use and I wish you strength. CMB.

Unfortunately it will likely be a long process. Do you know exactly what your partner was arrested for? It will likely be more detailed. Was he interviewed?will he tell you what about? The police told me what he was arrested for but i understand that doesnt always happen. Its worth calling the stop it now helpline they are really good for help and advice. What happens next really depends on what they think he has done. The computer etc will be forensically examined, which takes weeks/months. You cannot guess if he will be charged until you know exactly what they arrested him for and until all the facts are known. Its an incredibly hard time the waiting, but stay strong and just take things a day at a time. As you have a child a referal to child services may have been made.

They could extend bail or release him under investigation while they examine the equipment.

It takes months for them to exam the computers and electroc devices and while theybare still examining them they will likely rebail him. This happened with my husband they arrested him in March and he was rebailed 3 times until the end of June when the investigation was complete. They then charged him and released him again on bail until August when he went to court. He was again released on bail after being convicted in august until sentencing in September and then went to jail. It was only at that point then that the computers were returned.

It all takes a very long time and I was told by thr police officer that because of the number of people being arrested for these crimes it leads to a lot of electronics that need to be seen and that can cause a bit of delay as well.

Your not wrong it is a living nightmare, i keep hoping i will wake up from it soon and things will get better. Its hard but stay strong. The answer is likely to be no, 3 weeks is a very short time. Im 8 weeks in and have no answers. Its the examining of the equipment that takes the time. The police have been good and given me some information and have said that they will let me know what they find/if they find anything. Yes chat rooms can be an offence of sexual communication with a minor, grooming, offences like that depending on what he did. Viewing and downloading of images is an offence regardless of where or how it was done. As to if they send everyone to court i dont know, i guess it depends on the offence committed and all the evidence. As time goes on it gets easier to get on with things but the waiting is very hard. People have said to me live one day at a time, and it does help to not let the nightmare consume you.

The waiting is really difficult. I was lucky that when the knock came my husband admitted to what he did. So i knew they were going to find images although I wasnt prepared for the amount or the age ranges. The police did update me in the start but it was very limited and as the investigation went on the communication stopped.

As for court if he is charged he will go to court but he may not go to trial. My husband admitted what he did and pleaded guilty so his court case was just in front of a judge. He went to magistrates court and they convicted him but they couldnt sentence him due to charge so he then had to go to crown court but again was only in front of a judge who passed sentence.

But if he denies the charges once the investigation is finished i think then there might be a trial. Im not 100% sure on that though.

As for questions youll have loads im 7 months down the line and ive found now the investigation is over im finding that i have a whole load of different questions

My husband downloaded kik chat site to obviously chat to people..next thing we know police are knocking on our door because they'd allegedly found a puesdo image on his phone..husband swears he never downloaded this image,never asked for it,never viewed it and deleted it straight away..

this was last year..now they've downloaded the content of his phone because it's taken this long, a substantial amount of images have appeared on the phone..he's adamant he never downloaded them..if he had there's only 2 places he could have done it..here at home or work because those sure the only places he goes too.our world has been turned upside down and I feel your pain.the only thing my husband is guilty of is downloading that stupid stupid site..our IP address was checked so if he had done it ,he's not from this house..you just want it to stop and be over dint you? It's scarey and you don't know what's gonna happen do you?you feel like it's never gonna end..

Hi Annie. When you say the police found evidence on his phone was that only on the Kik app or from his phone folders? I ask because I know Kik has a bad press but I use it and as far as I am aware it doesn't have an automatic download function for shared photos (it can for videos for some reason). Tho it does sound like your partner's case is still ongoing and the police will lay down all their evidence before any charges are made, if it gets that far.

I recommend your partner ring the Lucy faithful helpline to discuss and seek help. Is he pleading total innocence or admitted he has downloaded files or aware he had files in his phone? Some people on here have partners who had files due to dodgey downloading of legal porn.

jb72 what was the outcome for you? I hope you are ok, I am in a similar situation to you x