Sentencing today
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We had sentencing today, from the start I always said I will never attend court but changed my mind last minute and found myself there.
I'm glad I went, obviously it was hard and emotional but I got through it.
He got a 2 year suspended sentence which we didn't even think was a possibility, we were completely prepared for a long custodial sentence.
During his closing remarks the judge noted the strength of the letter that I had written to him and the impact he made, afterwards the barrister told us that this judge puts a lot of weight behind family support and the way I had written the letter was likely to have had a big impact on his sentencing decision. Even though we are no longer together, I noted this in the letter but said I would still be supportive.
Never underestimate the power of a letter to support to a judge. It's not guaranteed to work but it can make a difference and it really doesn't hurt to try.
I'm glad I went, obviously it was hard and emotional but I got through it.
He got a 2 year suspended sentence which we didn't even think was a possibility, we were completely prepared for a long custodial sentence.
During his closing remarks the judge noted the strength of the letter that I had written to him and the impact he made, afterwards the barrister told us that this judge puts a lot of weight behind family support and the way I had written the letter was likely to have had a big impact on his sentencing decision. Even though we are no longer together, I noted this in the letter but said I would still be supportive.
Never underestimate the power of a letter to support to a judge. It's not guaranteed to work but it can make a difference and it really doesn't hurt to try.
Well done to you and thank you for sharing your sentencing outcome. Your ex is a lucky man to have your support
xxx
xxx
StressedWife x
It's a hard thing to sit in court and hear the prosecution but how strong are you for getting through it x
A good outcome for your OH even though you are not together your bond in been there to support him has obviously impacted the judges decision
I wish you both all the very best as you move forward from this journey xx
It's a hard thing to sit in court and hear the prosecution but how strong are you for getting through it x
A good outcome for your OH even though you are not together your bond in been there to support him has obviously impacted the judges decision
I wish you both all the very best as you move forward from this journey xx
It's so good to read postive outcomes, I'm so pleased for you. Iv had a long week of anxiety of worrying about everything so reading this makes me feel a little more positive.
what sort of stuff did you write in your letter, Iv been going over in my head what stuff do I write wondering how much the judge will care about.
what sort of stuff did you write in your letter, Iv been going over in my head what stuff do I write wondering how much the judge will care about.
Confused wife
I wrote mostly about his background and our family unit and that as much as I am supporting him he has continued to support me & the kids aswell, financially and maintaining his relationship with the children within bail & social services restrictions.
Acknowledged the offence and the severity of it but also the steps he has taken himself to get help. I asked that all of this was considered when sentencing. The judge said in his remarks that usually these letter a come across as begging letters but mine didn't which he seemed to appreciate
I wrote mostly about his background and our family unit and that as much as I am supporting him he has continued to support me & the kids aswell, financially and maintaining his relationship with the children within bail & social services restrictions.
Acknowledged the offence and the severity of it but also the steps he has taken himself to get help. I asked that all of this was considered when sentencing. The judge said in his remarks that usually these letter a come across as begging letters but mine didn't which he seemed to appreciate
Gosh, you've shown utter guts, well done!
glad the outcome wasn't as bad as you'd predicted.... and you can all hopefully move forward.
glad the outcome wasn't as bad as you'd predicted.... and you can all hopefully move forward.
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Parkerpoo im sorry to hear he got a custodial, did u go to court also, i want to go and support my oh but he has said he cant bear to see me there n upset if things dont go well. Have you got children together? As im really worried the impact of this getting out in the media and the impact it will have on my children.
Stressedwife thank you for sharing your experiences and glad the judge listened to and read the supporting letter. Thank you for sharing what you have put in the letter, it must of been very hard for u to sit there and hear it all. May i ask what sort of things has he done to get help please? Thank you.
Parkerpoo
I'm sorry it went that way for you, the media don't seem to care about the backlash of what they write unfortunately. We got lucky and although it made the paper when he put his plea in nothing has appeared for sentencing yet.
Topsyturvey
it was hard but I had full disclosure so I had already seen the full conversation he had so I knew what to expect which did make it a little easier. He had done some of the stopso modules and is still working through them, started therapy and signed up for the horizon course, although still on a waiting list for that.
I'm sorry it went that way for you, the media don't seem to care about the backlash of what they write unfortunately. We got lucky and although it made the paper when he put his plea in nothing has appeared for sentencing yet.
Topsyturvey
it was hard but I had full disclosure so I had already seen the full conversation he had so I knew what to expect which did make it a little easier. He had done some of the stopso modules and is still working through them, started therapy and signed up for the horizon course, although still on a waiting list for that.
Stressed wife
thank you for replying to me, that's all so helpful to know and get a good idea of what kinda of stuff I need to write. Although I think Iv prob a while to go, we're 13 months past the knock husband Rui and last update was his phone still in a queue. The waiting is the worst part especially when I'm such a overthinker it makes my anxiety way worse.
thank you for replying to me, that's all so helpful to know and get a good idea of what kinda of stuff I need to write. Although I think Iv prob a while to go, we're 13 months past the knock husband Rui and last update was his phone still in a queue. The waiting is the worst part especially when I'm such a overthinker it makes my anxiety way worse.
I've just finished writing my letter for the judge, when that day comes. Plea next week, then sentencing at a later date.
It was the first time I had wriiten down the impact on me and the efforts my oh had made to acknowledge his actions (viewing). I made it clear that he now understands these are not 'images', they are real and vulnerable people.
Strange really, thinking is one thing, often destructive to your peace of mind at the time, but actually writing things down did help me.
I will be rehashing it no doubt, solicitor may well suggest changes, but i do feel a bit better by getting it out on paper.
As per the advice above - thank you - i've not pleaded/begged. Made it abundantly clear how traumatising it is for me etc but this does not reflect the whole person who is normally law abiding.
It was the first time I had wriiten down the impact on me and the efforts my oh had made to acknowledge his actions (viewing). I made it clear that he now understands these are not 'images', they are real and vulnerable people.
Strange really, thinking is one thing, often destructive to your peace of mind at the time, but actually writing things down did help me.
I will be rehashing it no doubt, solicitor may well suggest changes, but i do feel a bit better by getting it out on paper.
As per the advice above - thank you - i've not pleaded/begged. Made it abundantly clear how traumatising it is for me etc but this does not reflect the whole person who is normally law abiding.