Police and social services
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Hi all, hope everyone is having a good day as I know they can be few and far between for us.
My OH pleaded guilty to communicating (no idiocy at all found) and its going to crown court. Originally social services closed the case as they said I could safeguard the children but now they want to come back out. They rang last Monday to see it needs to be reassessed and then nothing since, said someone will be in touch. OH hasn't been living here since the knock and we've adhered to the bail conditions of supervised contact with the children (I have 2 of my own and 1 with OH)
Police visited and said they're here to help (doubtful) us have a normal ish life and went through things you can and can't do. To be honest we will continue as we have been until sentencing and go from there. But social services have made me feel awful as I said I have supported my OH and want him to continue to see us all. They've said it's making my 2 children vulnerable as they see him as moms friend... it's like they're pushing me to say I hate him etc. police then called my OH and said best thing he can do is stay away?? I am petrified of saying the wrong thing when all I want to do is protect my children. I have done training and have plans in place. When they've asked me about my relationship with OH I've been vague as honestly I don't know if we'll have a relationship like we had before. At the moment I'm just trying to get through each day but it's like they want a definite no he's out the picture. If he gets a custodial service it'll be taken out of my hands anyway. If he gets suspended then I doubt they'll let him live here and he'll have restrictions so it'll be how it has been the last year so why was that ok then but not now????
sorry if I'm rambled. X
My OH pleaded guilty to communicating (no idiocy at all found) and its going to crown court. Originally social services closed the case as they said I could safeguard the children but now they want to come back out. They rang last Monday to see it needs to be reassessed and then nothing since, said someone will be in touch. OH hasn't been living here since the knock and we've adhered to the bail conditions of supervised contact with the children (I have 2 of my own and 1 with OH)
Police visited and said they're here to help (doubtful) us have a normal ish life and went through things you can and can't do. To be honest we will continue as we have been until sentencing and go from there. But social services have made me feel awful as I said I have supported my OH and want him to continue to see us all. They've said it's making my 2 children vulnerable as they see him as moms friend... it's like they're pushing me to say I hate him etc. police then called my OH and said best thing he can do is stay away?? I am petrified of saying the wrong thing when all I want to do is protect my children. I have done training and have plans in place. When they've asked me about my relationship with OH I've been vague as honestly I don't know if we'll have a relationship like we had before. At the moment I'm just trying to get through each day but it's like they want a definite no he's out the picture. If he gets a custodial service it'll be taken out of my hands anyway. If he gets suspended then I doubt they'll let him live here and he'll have restrictions so it'll be how it has been the last year so why was that ok then but not now????
sorry if I'm rambled. X
Do you have a copy of the previous assessment and safety plan? I would just go through this with the new social worker when they eventually come out, make clear that you think the risks continue to be the same and therefore you wish to continue with the safety plan.
You can say as yet you have not made a definite decision on the future of your relationship but have no plans for him to move back in and will always prioritise the children, and are currently doing this by strictly following all conditions.
I'm not sure where they are getting the info that your children see him as 'your friend'?
You can say as yet you have not made a definite decision on the future of your relationship but have no plans for him to move back in and will always prioritise the children, and are currently doing this by strictly following all conditions.
I'm not sure where they are getting the info that your children see him as 'your friend'?
Thank you for replying. They didn't even do a safety plan last time. I think it's come from the police as they asked me and I said the same thing as I'll say to the social services. I said I've been supporting him to get the help he needs as I do believe he is a good person who has made a terrible mistake and done a very bad thing. They've said because he's still around and visiting (supervised) my daughters could still see him as someone trustworthy and therefore vulnerable. Even though both children were spoken to by the police and social services and neither had any worries. Hopefully it's a paperwork exercise and tick box exercise for them to say they've checked it all out. They just worry me as I feel like they're trying to catch you out all the time and twist what you say. X
The inconsistency of process drives me mad! I am 8 weeks post knock and social services are all over us like a rash. I think you were "lucky" they closed the case in the first place so had a bit of peace. I was encouraged to put the children on "child in need" now as if I didn't do this now they would just have to start all over again later in the process (I think at the point of charge) and this sadly sounds what is happening now to you.
You just don't know whether you're coming or going with them do you and then the police seem to be saying something different but then they're reporting back to one another??? I haven't got anything to hide so I've said I'm happy for them to come again. Wish they'd come sooner rather than later because the waiting makes me feel worse. They haven't mentioned anything about child in need at the moment but we'll see.
@scaredmumof3 I did private message you the other day actually as I feel our situations are similar. Don't know if you got it or not?