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Evening Parkerpoo1
I dont have much advise to offer but just wanted to say I am sorry for what you are going through right now , can you do something for yourself tomorrow? 33 years is incredible but just so sad to where you are now , only you can decide on the next step of your journey, but you owe it to yourself , financially it will be challenging but you cannot let that deter you from staying, yes he is in prison but only by his actions, and for him to say you ended it well that's utter selfishness on his part
You deserve to find yourself again
Sending hugs xx
I dont have much advise to offer but just wanted to say I am sorry for what you are going through right now , can you do something for yourself tomorrow? 33 years is incredible but just so sad to where you are now , only you can decide on the next step of your journey, but you owe it to yourself , financially it will be challenging but you cannot let that deter you from staying, yes he is in prison but only by his actions, and for him to say you ended it well that's utter selfishness on his part
You deserve to find yourself again
Sending hugs xx
Parkerpool 1
You have been through so much. Thinking of you. Get and take as much support as you can.
You have been through so much. Thinking of you. Get and take as much support as you can.
I am sorry this is happening to you.
It was my wedding anniversary this week, 31 years. Though we are still together, for now, no decision has been made long term. Nothing has been has been resolved, we dont go out together, only walk our dogs. No friends or family acknowledge my anniversary and this also upsets me. It is as if i should not want to. No cards, no fb pictures just walking the dogs. It is the silly things you miss.
I also worry about the financial implication's of breaking up, but realise that alone can not be the reason why we stay together.
sorry not much help, but you are not alone. Hugs. X
It was my wedding anniversary this week, 31 years. Though we are still together, for now, no decision has been made long term. Nothing has been has been resolved, we dont go out together, only walk our dogs. No friends or family acknowledge my anniversary and this also upsets me. It is as if i should not want to. No cards, no fb pictures just walking the dogs. It is the silly things you miss.
I also worry about the financial implication's of breaking up, but realise that alone can not be the reason why we stay together.
sorry not much help, but you are not alone. Hugs. X
Hi ParkerPoo1
I know how you feel, I was with my ex for 32 years, we nearly got to our 25 year anniversery. In my case I found a memory stick and reported him to the police, he has always watched normal porn for years even though he knew I didn't like it as he would watch it on his laptop in the same room I was watching the tv.
I had no idea about the iioc until I found my stick, it was like opening Pandora's box, there were also pictures he had taken on holiday of naturist holiday makers from our hotel. It horrifys me what would have happened had he been caught by the police in Spain, our daughter was 7 years old at the time. The divorce has been completed and I am in the process of selling the house and getting a new one and hopefully making a new start. It has been very hard especially when you have been with someone for that length of time and they destroy your future and do something with no regard for the consquences. My ex was also before he was arrested whatsapping someone, as communication was never mentioned I take it that it was another woman or a sex chat.
It was the lies and the gaslighting that made up my mind about divorcing, he lied to the police when he was arrested which even the judge said made it seem as if there was something else to find. I thought that if he lied to the police even though forensics would find it after the worst thing you have been though, would he still lie to me. If fact he did when I spoke to him and asked some questions he still lied, I figured that if I had stayed he would either have tried to do it again or gone with someone else. He also mentioned the wedding vows and didn't want a divorce, but I think that life is too short to waste on someone who disrespects me.
From the sounds of it you are better off without your OH, he doesn't deserve you. Try to be with a friend tomorrow to distract you and go somewhere so you don't dwell. We can do this, stay strong.
Bereft
I know how you feel, I was with my ex for 32 years, we nearly got to our 25 year anniversery. In my case I found a memory stick and reported him to the police, he has always watched normal porn for years even though he knew I didn't like it as he would watch it on his laptop in the same room I was watching the tv.
I had no idea about the iioc until I found my stick, it was like opening Pandora's box, there were also pictures he had taken on holiday of naturist holiday makers from our hotel. It horrifys me what would have happened had he been caught by the police in Spain, our daughter was 7 years old at the time. The divorce has been completed and I am in the process of selling the house and getting a new one and hopefully making a new start. It has been very hard especially when you have been with someone for that length of time and they destroy your future and do something with no regard for the consquences. My ex was also before he was arrested whatsapping someone, as communication was never mentioned I take it that it was another woman or a sex chat.
It was the lies and the gaslighting that made up my mind about divorcing, he lied to the police when he was arrested which even the judge said made it seem as if there was something else to find. I thought that if he lied to the police even though forensics would find it after the worst thing you have been though, would he still lie to me. If fact he did when I spoke to him and asked some questions he still lied, I figured that if I had stayed he would either have tried to do it again or gone with someone else. He also mentioned the wedding vows and didn't want a divorce, but I think that life is too short to waste on someone who disrespects me.
From the sounds of it you are better off without your OH, he doesn't deserve you. Try to be with a friend tomorrow to distract you and go somewhere so you don't dwell. We can do this, stay strong.
Bereft
Hi ParkerPoo1
I know how you feel, I was with my ex for 32 years, we nearly got to our 25 year anniversery. In my case I found a memory stick and reported him to the police, he has always watched normal porn for years even though he knew I didn't like it as he would watch it on his laptop in the same room I was watching the tv.
I had no idea about the iioc until I found my stick, it was like opening Pandora's box, there were also pictures he had taken on holiday of naturist holiday makers from our hotel. It horrifys me what would have happened had he been caught by the police in Spain, our daughter was 7 years old at the time. The divorce has been completed and I am in the process of selling the house and getting a new one and hopefully making a new start. It has been very hard especially when you have been with someone for that length of time and they destroy your future and do something with no regard for the consquences. My ex was also before he was arrested whatsapping someone, as communication was never mentioned I take it that it was another woman or a sex chat.
It was the lies and the gaslighting that made up my mind about divorcing, he lied to the police when he was arrested which even the judge said made it seem as if there was something else to find. I thought that if he lied to the police even though forensics would find it after the worst thing you have been though, would he still lie to me. If fact he did when I spoke to him and asked some questions he still lied, I figured that if I had stayed he would either have tried to do it again or gone with someone else. He also mentioned the wedding vows and didn't want a divorce, but I think that life is too short to waste on someone who disrespects me.
From the sounds of it you are better off without your OH, he doesn't deserve you. Try to be with a friend tomorrow to distract you and go somewhere so you don't dwell. We can do this, stay strong.
Bereft
I know how you feel, I was with my ex for 32 years, we nearly got to our 25 year anniversery. In my case I found a memory stick and reported him to the police, he has always watched normal porn for years even though he knew I didn't like it as he would watch it on his laptop in the same room I was watching the tv.
I had no idea about the iioc until I found my stick, it was like opening Pandora's box, there were also pictures he had taken on holiday of naturist holiday makers from our hotel. It horrifys me what would have happened had he been caught by the police in Spain, our daughter was 7 years old at the time. The divorce has been completed and I am in the process of selling the house and getting a new one and hopefully making a new start. It has been very hard especially when you have been with someone for that length of time and they destroy your future and do something with no regard for the consquences. My ex was also before he was arrested whatsapping someone, as communication was never mentioned I take it that it was another woman or a sex chat.
It was the lies and the gaslighting that made up my mind about divorcing, he lied to the police when he was arrested which even the judge said made it seem as if there was something else to find. I thought that if he lied to the police even though forensics would find it after the worst thing you have been though, would he still lie to me. If fact he did when I spoke to him and asked some questions he still lied, I figured that if I had stayed he would either have tried to do it again or gone with someone else. He also mentioned the wedding vows and didn't want a divorce, but I think that life is too short to waste on someone who disrespects me.
From the sounds of it you are better off without your OH, he doesn't deserve you. Try to be with a friend tomorrow to distract you and go somewhere so you don't dwell. We can do this, stay strong.
Bereft
All I can do is send hugs your way and hope that the future is brighter for you xx
Not a lot to offer - a hug xxxxxxxxx
Awe Parker, the blows just keep coming don't they?
Sending love, and just sitting beside you to listen if you need it x
Sending love, and just sitting beside you to listen if you need it x
Sitting beside you and holding your hand albeit virtually xxx
I just wanted to stop in and send love. The roots of pain that spread out from these events feels endless, but it will end. Not everything will be infected. You will regrow x