Child service’s nightmare
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Hi everyone!
I haven't been on for a long while but I'm here again looking for advice from you lovely people.
So my OH was charged in 2020 for a small amount of indecent images A-C and some prohibited. He went to prison in 2021 and served 9 months. During the time from arrest to sentencing we had supervised contact between my OH and my children and we maintained our relationship even though he moved out to live with his mother. On release we were reassessed and supervised contact was allowed again and then unsupervised contact in the community.
18 months ago my OH became unwell and has become disabled (suspected motor neurons) He is dependent on me as a carer.
Shortly after his sudden illness, his mother died and he lost his home as it has to be sold. He is now homeless and living on the sofa at my mum and dads house. I didn't want him ideally to come home till our 2 boys were 18, but we made the decision he does need to be at home with us sooner and be cared for.
All agencies are really behind him coming back home, he has not showed signs of reoffending and has done everything he can to work with probation and his SO manager. but social services are not happy about it at all. Theyre really dragging their feet with making a decision, and my social worker has given me the heads up that she thinks it's going to be a No. My eldest boy is 17 in January and my youngest is 15 they have written to the SS manager asking her to help us be a family again and have expressed how worried they are about their dad living alone, and I have told them I'll do whatever is needed to make it work.
My question is... If SS say no to my OH coming home, can I appeal? What can I do? I want to fight it but have no idea what rights we'll have. Or is that it?
If it helps I know My OH's SHPO says no unsupervised contact with anyone under 16 unless authorised by social services.
Can anyone advise please?
many thanks
XxX
I haven't been on for a long while but I'm here again looking for advice from you lovely people.
So my OH was charged in 2020 for a small amount of indecent images A-C and some prohibited. He went to prison in 2021 and served 9 months. During the time from arrest to sentencing we had supervised contact between my OH and my children and we maintained our relationship even though he moved out to live with his mother. On release we were reassessed and supervised contact was allowed again and then unsupervised contact in the community.
18 months ago my OH became unwell and has become disabled (suspected motor neurons) He is dependent on me as a carer.
Shortly after his sudden illness, his mother died and he lost his home as it has to be sold. He is now homeless and living on the sofa at my mum and dads house. I didn't want him ideally to come home till our 2 boys were 18, but we made the decision he does need to be at home with us sooner and be cared for.
All agencies are really behind him coming back home, he has not showed signs of reoffending and has done everything he can to work with probation and his SO manager. but social services are not happy about it at all. Theyre really dragging their feet with making a decision, and my social worker has given me the heads up that she thinks it's going to be a No. My eldest boy is 17 in January and my youngest is 15 they have written to the SS manager asking her to help us be a family again and have expressed how worried they are about their dad living alone, and I have told them I'll do whatever is needed to make it work.
My question is... If SS say no to my OH coming home, can I appeal? What can I do? I want to fight it but have no idea what rights we'll have. Or is that it?
If it helps I know My OH's SHPO says no unsupervised contact with anyone under 16 unless authorised by social services.
Can anyone advise please?
many thanks
XxX
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That's a horrible situation for you. The shpo is the barrier more than social services
If you can get the shpo amended then you can just move him in and SS won't be able to do anything about it due to the children, honestly no family court judge will force him out or remove the children in they set of circumstances and with your children at the ages they are x
If you can get the shpo amended then you can just move him in and SS won't be able to do anything about it due to the children, honestly no family court judge will force him out or remove the children in they set of circumstances and with your children at the ages they are x
Thank you so much ladies for your replies I really appreciate it so much. The situation is ridiculous
His SHPO states no unsupervised contact with children under the age of 16 Without SS approval. Does that mean I can wait till my youngest is 16 if we can?
I do think we will go down the route of getting the SHPO amended. My OH SO manager has mentioned it to us, as he's desperate to get him back home.
To the lady who dad had MND I'm so sorry to hear you experiences my heart goes out to you. We are hoping that my OH dosent have MND but further investigation will hopefully give us a diagnosis soon.
peace and love to all Xx
His SHPO states no unsupervised contact with children under the age of 16 Without SS approval. Does that mean I can wait till my youngest is 16 if we can?
I do think we will go down the route of getting the SHPO amended. My OH SO manager has mentioned it to us, as he's desperate to get him back home.
To the lady who dad had MND I'm so sorry to hear you experiences my heart goes out to you. We are hoping that my OH dosent have MND but further investigation will hopefully give us a diagnosis soon.
peace and love to all Xx
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Thank you Ladies so much.
Lee I spoke to my OH SO manager and said about when my youngest becomes 16 would my OH be able to come back home. And he did say SS will still have a say because they are still under 18?? This is where I get confused. It is a grey area apparently. But if I move my OH back in when my youngest hits 16 because my OH would not be breaking his restrictions and SS want to kick off, im more than happy to take them on and fight.
it's all so very confusing it's awful.
love to all
Lee I spoke to my OH SO manager and said about when my youngest becomes 16 would my OH be able to come back home. And he did say SS will still have a say because they are still under 18?? This is where I get confused. It is a grey area apparently. But if I move my OH back in when my youngest hits 16 because my OH would not be breaking his restrictions and SS want to kick off, im more than happy to take them on and fight.
it's all so very confusing it's awful.
love to all
Blue82, whilst still a child and under children's services, even if a SW wanted to remove, no court will agree and the legal advisor at SS would tell the SW that.
If they asked to do child in need you and your 16 year old can just refuse and most likely outcome is case closed
To be successful at court there would need to be clear evidence of direct harm to the 16 year old and evidence that they couldn't protect themselves and that you couldn't protect them. Which is not your situation
If they asked to do child in need you and your 16 year old can just refuse and most likely outcome is case closed
To be successful at court there would need to be clear evidence of direct harm to the 16 year old and evidence that they couldn't protect themselves and that you couldn't protect them. Which is not your situation
Thank you Inthemoment. That's put my head straight now. I did think that would be the case to be honest, but I needed to clarify with someone. I am not scared of SS they have messed us about for nearly 3 months now. The assessment was completed months ago and now they've asked for a risk assessment on my OH which was supposed to be completed a month ago. I've still heard nothing. I've emailed the manager and my boys have also written a letter to her, but I have had no reply or even an acknowledgment.
My youngest boy suffers from anxiety disorder and it's making him bad worrying about the whole situation. I understand where SS are coming from and they need to make sure they boys are safe, but the effect it's having on the children is worrying. I'm willing to do whatever it takes and so are the boys and OH. Hopefully I'll get and answer soon and we can then make plans for the next step.
thank you so much Xx
My youngest boy suffers from anxiety disorder and it's making him bad worrying about the whole situation. I understand where SS are coming from and they need to make sure they boys are safe, but the effect it's having on the children is worrying. I'm willing to do whatever it takes and so are the boys and OH. Hopefully I'll get and answer soon and we can then make plans for the next step.
thank you so much Xx
Hi Blue82
Has children service done any assessment on your OH?
Ss did same thing with us and we made them to do specialist assessment for me and my husband via family Court. The outcome of that report was positive so SS had to agree to move my Husband back.
Ask them for a specialist assessment and if they say no for the assessment they I would suggest to involve court. It sounds scary but it was the best thing we did. Judges are very non judgemental unlike SS. Also make a safety plan to show them how you are planning to keep your kids safe if your OH moves back.
Has children service done any assessment on your OH?
Ss did same thing with us and we made them to do specialist assessment for me and my husband via family Court. The outcome of that report was positive so SS had to agree to move my Husband back.
Ask them for a specialist assessment and if they say no for the assessment they I would suggest to involve court. It sounds scary but it was the best thing we did. Judges are very non judgemental unlike SS. Also make a safety plan to show them how you are planning to keep your kids safe if your OH moves back.
Hi,
I know this was a while ago you posted this and hope you have it resolved already but this is what we just found out:
My partner has just been told the unsupervised contact shouldn't even be on his restrictions as it was indecent images. His barrister are in the process of getting it taken off as we speak.
Hope this helps.
I know this was a while ago you posted this and hope you have it resolved already but this is what we just found out:
My partner has just been told the unsupervised contact shouldn't even be on his restrictions as it was indecent images. His barrister are in the process of getting it taken off as we speak.
Hope this helps.
Hi,
How did you even know how to approach questioning the SHPO conditions?
How did you even know how to approach questioning the SHPO conditions?