5 months since the knock
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Evening all
It's been 5 months since the knock and my partner has been bailed and then re bailed. Conditions the same, not to be left alone with under 18s. I have a 12 year old autistic child from a previous relationship who unfortuantly saw the arrest. I have made a formal complaint into how it was dealt and handled - my front door left open for 9 hours (until 3am), I was unable to get dressed unless an officer was in the room. My son didn't get his dinner until near 11pm as I wasn't allowed to leave the room of my home I was placed in.
SS stopped my partner seeing my son, i fought for a few weeks but couldn't risk him being taken. My partner has been suspended from his job, which we will hopefully find out on Friday about if e will continue to have one but we are prepared that he will lose it.
My partner has admitted his addiction and has been in therapy since April time for both group sessions and 1 to 1 Costing near £700 at a time.
My partner is living with his parents, my mum comes to mine once a week for me to see him away from our home
We were advised this processwill take 18 months to 3 years for this to go to court (if needed).
I'm panicking about his addiction and the amount he has confessed to, not looked at, but he saw himself as a collector and was only an image thing not physical - I know they won't see it like that.
I am so scared he will face jail time, which will be hard to accept, but if that's what's given, then he will do it. What does anyone else think?
My son is on a CIN plan, the second meeting in a week or 2, will they stay in our lives until all devices are searched?
I am 36 yeaes of age and prior to all this we were thinking of having a baby together, this has obviously put a spanner in the works and he obviously doesn't want to have a child he can not help raise, but I have various medical conditions and to put it bluntly am running out of time to have another.
Any help advise or an ear would be truly welcome im often home alone which is when the tears fall and the over thinking begins.
x
I
It's been 5 months since the knock and my partner has been bailed and then re bailed. Conditions the same, not to be left alone with under 18s. I have a 12 year old autistic child from a previous relationship who unfortuantly saw the arrest. I have made a formal complaint into how it was dealt and handled - my front door left open for 9 hours (until 3am), I was unable to get dressed unless an officer was in the room. My son didn't get his dinner until near 11pm as I wasn't allowed to leave the room of my home I was placed in.
SS stopped my partner seeing my son, i fought for a few weeks but couldn't risk him being taken. My partner has been suspended from his job, which we will hopefully find out on Friday about if e will continue to have one but we are prepared that he will lose it.
My partner has admitted his addiction and has been in therapy since April time for both group sessions and 1 to 1 Costing near £700 at a time.
My partner is living with his parents, my mum comes to mine once a week for me to see him away from our home
We were advised this processwill take 18 months to 3 years for this to go to court (if needed).
I'm panicking about his addiction and the amount he has confessed to, not looked at, but he saw himself as a collector and was only an image thing not physical - I know they won't see it like that.
I am so scared he will face jail time, which will be hard to accept, but if that's what's given, then he will do it. What does anyone else think?
My son is on a CIN plan, the second meeting in a week or 2, will they stay in our lives until all devices are searched?
I am 36 yeaes of age and prior to all this we were thinking of having a baby together, this has obviously put a spanner in the works and he obviously doesn't want to have a child he can not help raise, but I have various medical conditions and to put it bluntly am running out of time to have another.
Any help advise or an ear would be truly welcome im often home alone which is when the tears fall and the over thinking begins.
x
I
Hi Amethyst (my favourite stone!)
You are on a very similar journey to so many of us, waiting and waiting.
The bail conditions are horrendous (our son has those too) and actually unlawful for online offences but it's a real hassle and expensive getting them challenged plus as you know then SS have expectations too.
Your experience at the Knock is truly horrific and inexcusable. Sadly only too common though and people need to complain loudly but of course we're all too worried we'll make things worse for ourselves.
The job situation is such a worry - our son will be facing that soon too, so yet another way his family will suffer as bills won't be paid. Fingers crossed that you have a positive outcome.
You mention your partner collecting images which is part of our son's behaviour too. In fact I'm beginning to think he might be on the autistic spectrum so I wonder if this might be a consideration for your partner (our grandchildren are being assessed for this at school and I can recognise similar traits in myself so I'm wondering if it's a genetic predisposition) There are several members of this forum with people, either partners or sons, who are diagnosed as being on the Autistic Spectrum so it does seem to be a factor to consider.
Taking up to 3 years seems to sadly be the way things are going at the moment and it's the worst thing about all this, the waiting and more waiting.Nobody can guess about potential outcomes although we would love to have some idea - it all seems so arbitrary and dependant on the judge on the day which to me seems fundamentally wrong.
Re the CIN plan, did you know that's voluntary (although I'm not saying you should stop co-operating as then SS would be concerned) but they could well close the case because they believe you're protecting your son and there is nothing to worry about (although this again seems dependant on the professionals involved).Hope you have a good team working with you.
I'm truly sorry that you have this dilemma about having a baby but I know that some members on here have had similar worries so hopefully you will hear from someone with their own story.
Anyway, like I said at the start of this novel, no advice to offer but please know that myself (and many others) have listened, understood, empathised and are sending you a big hug x
PS Hope your mum is coping too x
You are on a very similar journey to so many of us, waiting and waiting.
The bail conditions are horrendous (our son has those too) and actually unlawful for online offences but it's a real hassle and expensive getting them challenged plus as you know then SS have expectations too.
Your experience at the Knock is truly horrific and inexcusable. Sadly only too common though and people need to complain loudly but of course we're all too worried we'll make things worse for ourselves.
The job situation is such a worry - our son will be facing that soon too, so yet another way his family will suffer as bills won't be paid. Fingers crossed that you have a positive outcome.
You mention your partner collecting images which is part of our son's behaviour too. In fact I'm beginning to think he might be on the autistic spectrum so I wonder if this might be a consideration for your partner (our grandchildren are being assessed for this at school and I can recognise similar traits in myself so I'm wondering if it's a genetic predisposition) There are several members of this forum with people, either partners or sons, who are diagnosed as being on the Autistic Spectrum so it does seem to be a factor to consider.
Taking up to 3 years seems to sadly be the way things are going at the moment and it's the worst thing about all this, the waiting and more waiting.Nobody can guess about potential outcomes although we would love to have some idea - it all seems so arbitrary and dependant on the judge on the day which to me seems fundamentally wrong.
Re the CIN plan, did you know that's voluntary (although I'm not saying you should stop co-operating as then SS would be concerned) but they could well close the case because they believe you're protecting your son and there is nothing to worry about (although this again seems dependant on the professionals involved).Hope you have a good team working with you.
I'm truly sorry that you have this dilemma about having a baby but I know that some members on here have had similar worries so hopefully you will hear from someone with their own story.
Anyway, like I said at the start of this novel, no advice to offer but please know that myself (and many others) have listened, understood, empathised and are sending you a big hug x
PS Hope your mum is coping too x
I hope you doing ok that sounds bloody awful.I don't really come on here much as I've been struggling with everything but I seen your post my person has admitted to collecting too he has always hoarded things so I am too very worried of the outcome he also has a porn addiction and been suffering depression that he should of sought help with years ago I have a disabled daughter too you can pm me if you like. Xx
Thank you both for your replies.
My son is autistic, but the person is not a blood relation however I do understand where you are coming from.
We find out on friday about his job.
I just want to turn back the clock, its the simple things I miss.
My son is autistic, but the person is not a blood relation however I do understand where you are coming from.
We find out on friday about his job.
I just want to turn back the clock, its the simple things I miss.
Hi sorry just to clarify my daughter isn't his but is the only father she's known. I hope your doing alright though the journey is horrendous xx
Big hugs to you all xxxx
Hi all..thought I'd update.
Were now at near 10 months since arrest.
Hes still no longer.living with us
We have a baby due together in July and he's been advised bail will.end in April so I assume.thats when he will go to court to plead.
I have no idea what he's looking at
To add insult.to injury police believe he is the leader of the chat room because of his knowledge and it and all his chats were encrypted.
Any further advice much appreciated.
Was your partners sentence, if you wouldn't mind sharing what for would be much appreciated to help me prepare
Were now at near 10 months since arrest.
Hes still no longer.living with us
We have a baby due together in July and he's been advised bail will.end in April so I assume.thats when he will go to court to plead.
I have no idea what he's looking at
To add insult.to injury police believe he is the leader of the chat room because of his knowledge and it and all his chats were encrypted.
Any further advice much appreciated.
Was your partners sentence, if you wouldn't mind sharing what for would be much appreciated to help me prepare
Hi, my husbands bail ended in October 2022 and we're still waiting on his devices to be checked. Bail ending doesn't necessary mean court date will be soon, but Rui does make living a bit easier as there's no restrictions. However it means no time limits apparently, my husband was arrested July 2022 and were still in a queue. it's an horrendous waiting game, I can't believe we're almost approaching 2 years and still no further.