The dangers to our own children
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Hi everyone,
Just wanted to run something by everyone.
If you have or are considering standing by your person, would it make a difference if the offending/attempted offending was in relation to your own child? By this I do not mean physical touching but sexual chat, possibly watching them etc. This is what I believe to be my person's situation. My child is 17. I cannot be 100% sure but piecing everything together, I am highly suspicious.
I understand that all children are someone's child so these crimes are absolutely reprehensible full stop. But would it make a difference in your decision to stay/support if you suspected an attraction to your own child?
Thanks
Just wanted to run something by everyone.
If you have or are considering standing by your person, would it make a difference if the offending/attempted offending was in relation to your own child? By this I do not mean physical touching but sexual chat, possibly watching them etc. This is what I believe to be my person's situation. My child is 17. I cannot be 100% sure but piecing everything together, I am highly suspicious.
I understand that all children are someone's child so these crimes are absolutely reprehensible full stop. But would it make a difference in your decision to stay/support if you suspected an attraction to your own child?
Thanks
I decided to leave my husband as I couldn't forgive him for what he had done. I think about those poor children all the time in the images. If it also related to my son I wouldn't be able to mentally cope with that. I would have to cut all contact. I suspect if social services thought your OH had those thoughts about his daughter they wouldn't allow any contact anyway
Our children wasn't involved it was internet only but I asked the question straight away about ours and other family members children. He would of been out and gone straight away if it was our children
Hi,
My persons offence was communication and he claims no attraction to minors. We have a child together and I have two from a previous relationship who are adult and late teen. If he had mentioned any of my children in a sexual chat it would definitely be a hard no from me in terms of our relationship, contact with any of the children and any type of support from me in any capacity.
We plan to have an independent risk assessment done before we progress our relationship because I need to be as sure as I can be that he doesn't pose a risk to our child and is low risk of any online or contact offending again.
For me the difference in it being my own children isn't because they are mine and I care about them more but because it is my responsibility to keep them safe and I couldn't knowingly put them in danger. This is one of the reasons we split at the knock because it was the only way that I felt I could protect my older two once I heard the words child sex offence.
How does your daughter feel? I hope you are both receiving counselling xxx
My persons offence was communication and he claims no attraction to minors. We have a child together and I have two from a previous relationship who are adult and late teen. If he had mentioned any of my children in a sexual chat it would definitely be a hard no from me in terms of our relationship, contact with any of the children and any type of support from me in any capacity.
We plan to have an independent risk assessment done before we progress our relationship because I need to be as sure as I can be that he doesn't pose a risk to our child and is low risk of any online or contact offending again.
For me the difference in it being my own children isn't because they are mine and I care about them more but because it is my responsibility to keep them safe and I couldn't knowingly put them in danger. This is one of the reasons we split at the knock because it was the only way that I felt I could protect my older two once I heard the words child sex offence.
How does your daughter feel? I hope you are both receiving counselling xxx
This was quite a difficult post for me to read. It's another area that's not always black and white I'm afraid, like so many areas in this foul journey.
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so we are post knock 9 months almost now. I've done everything I can to facilitate supervised contact with our child. Mainly for the mental well-being as he's too young to understand.
our relationship/ marriage has been paused since day 1, although i really can't see this to be true I am aware that the police don't do this for no reason.
Once I have heard what the arresting evidence was (at the moment all I have been told is that it is an email conversation between my OH and another adult (don't know who) about sexual interest in a minor) then I will make a decision about our marriage.
I've given my OH the chance to tell me the truth id he wrote this email conversation and he says not. He has done some illegal and bad things in the past but he has always told me, so I can help him even at the risk of me leaving. So I'm just waiting for my final decision.
if he is guilty and he has done it and he has lied it's over between us regardless of if it is our child or another child. It makes no difference to me. Depending on the evidence will then also affect contact with our child.
1 charge he is being investigated for was after arrest, looking through family photos on my husbands iPad and the photo is of our son in the bath blowing bubbles and us having a bubble fight when he was around 10 months old. I took the photo and it was shared in our family album. I pretty much think this should be thrown out, if not they will have to go and arrest every parent and grandparent in the country, as these are common baby photos that everyone has. I'm not justifying it but it just felt a bit petty from the police to be honest.
our relationship/ marriage has been paused since day 1, although i really can't see this to be true I am aware that the police don't do this for no reason.
Once I have heard what the arresting evidence was (at the moment all I have been told is that it is an email conversation between my OH and another adult (don't know who) about sexual interest in a minor) then I will make a decision about our marriage.
I've given my OH the chance to tell me the truth id he wrote this email conversation and he says not. He has done some illegal and bad things in the past but he has always told me, so I can help him even at the risk of me leaving. So I'm just waiting for my final decision.
if he is guilty and he has done it and he has lied it's over between us regardless of if it is our child or another child. It makes no difference to me. Depending on the evidence will then also affect contact with our child.
1 charge he is being investigated for was after arrest, looking through family photos on my husbands iPad and the photo is of our son in the bath blowing bubbles and us having a bubble fight when he was around 10 months old. I took the photo and it was shared in our family album. I pretty much think this should be thrown out, if not they will have to go and arrest every parent and grandparent in the country, as these are common baby photos that everyone has. I'm not justifying it but it just felt a bit petty from the police to be honest.
All a definite no no for me. It's just as disgusting whoever the child is. No excuses
We all on here detest the behaviour of any aspect of this crime.
This forum endlessly discusses the pain we suffer (as innocent family members) - we tussle trying to cope with our feelings and deal with the practicality of what's left behind as pick up the pieces.
I will say to my last breath - this behaviour is part of a person and not his whole being, it's not a black and white senario. That's why we need each other and the unity we share.
This forum endlessly discusses the pain we suffer (as innocent family members) - we tussle trying to cope with our feelings and deal with the practicality of what's left behind as pick up the pieces.
I will say to my last breath - this behaviour is part of a person and not his whole being, it's not a black and white senario. That's why we need each other and the unity we share.