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Choosing to stay

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Brokenbutterfly

Member since
September 2023

1 post

Posted Thu September 14, 2023 9:58amReport post

Please bare with me this might be a long one

My partner was convicted 12 mnths ago on 3 counts and recieved a 2 Yr suspended sentence and 7 yrs on register and a sex harm prevention order also for 7 yrs.

He's completed everything court ordered and just waiting on the horizon course.

He still maintains he didn't do what he was convicted for and pleaded guilty on advice of barrister to avoid custodial sentence. Parts of the conviction don't add up and my gut feeling is to believe him.

I am aware I am in the minority who chose to stay but my gut believes him.

Social services have been involved as I have a son with my ex husband. All that has been sorted.

Does it ever get any easier. The anniversaries of dates and court, the having your life picked apart, the never fully knowing if he did it or not.

Can any one relate.

Thanks

confused93

Member since
September 2023

8 posts

Posted Thu September 14, 2023 10:29amReport post

I'm so sorry about what you're going through. My only advice is that only he will ever know whether or not he actually did what he was accused of and you might have to make peace with that if only to help yourself and your sanity. When my dad passed and I found all the legal paperwork and even though he denied everything to me he admitted guilt to his solicitor. Stay strong and sending love.

Lost4Words

Member since
August 2022

81 posts

Posted Thu September 14, 2023 11:16pmReport post

I'm still living this nightmare at the moment.......I can't offer any advice sorry.

But I wish you well for your future xx

SH9231

Member since
August 2023

52 posts

Posted Tue September 19, 2023 5:29pmReport post

Hi,

I stayed, similar situation to your person with barrister advising guilty plea as he was in possession even though it wasn't searched for.

It does get easier, life is different and in some ways better. He has a decent job and complies to his conditions and we just get on with life. Yes we have our haters (we didn't move) but we see it as their issue not ours. We are 2 years post media fallout.

Please message if there's anything particular you want to know x

Deedee86

Member since
April 2023

54 posts

Posted Tue September 19, 2023 8:26pmReport post

Just want to offer you some support and actually I'm not sure if you are in the minority on choosing to stay. Many partners here are supporting their others.

what you will get from this forum is heaps of support what your decision. Im only a leaver because this is my third experience of this horrible nightmare. First time around I wanted to stay and make things work, and you won't be judged for choosing to stay.

Inthemoment

Member since
February 2023

358 posts

Posted Tue September 19, 2023 11:01pmReport post

I was going to say the same as DeeDee. I don't think it's necessarily a minority who stay, I've worked with several families in this kind of situation and most have stayed together, or tried to at least. For me it's a huge frustration of the media and even charity output to suggest that all these men are cast out of families, with many media outlets suggesting the should be ostracised from society for these offences

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Wed September 20, 2023 5:02amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am