Either way i lose
Notifications OFF
Does anyone else feel in an impossible situation. If i stay snd support my husband i damage other family relationships, if i leave him i break the kids hearts and damage other family relationships. If i say i want to get through it child services will think i might not be protecting the kids, if i say to them im going to leave him it turns the kids world upsidedown. The waiting for the investigation to be over is awful. I feel like im being punished for something that has nothing to do with me.
Hi maria
ive chosen to stand by my husband but that’s because I believe he hasn’t done anything as bad as his charge, I don’t know how I would feel if I knew there was evidence to suggest otherwise, I know in my heart he is no risk to my daughter, if you feel this way too and want to stand by him and help him get the support he needs that’s your choice, I feel that we partners are going to be judged either way no matter what, do what you feel is right for your family, it’s easy for others to say they would leave etc but until you’ve been in this position you can’t know, nobody on here judges you either way and we can all take comfort from each other during what has to be the worst time in our lives, I’m hoping and preying that one day we can look back at this period in our lives and how it’s made us stronger
ive chosen to stand by my husband but that’s because I believe he hasn’t done anything as bad as his charge, I don’t know how I would feel if I knew there was evidence to suggest otherwise, I know in my heart he is no risk to my daughter, if you feel this way too and want to stand by him and help him get the support he needs that’s your choice, I feel that we partners are going to be judged either way no matter what, do what you feel is right for your family, it’s easy for others to say they would leave etc but until you’ve been in this position you can’t know, nobody on here judges you either way and we can all take comfort from each other during what has to be the worst time in our lives, I’m hoping and preying that one day we can look back at this period in our lives and how it’s made us stronger
I felt the same. It was as though if i stayed with him my family and close friends would judge me and i was told i would be putting my daughter at risk and potentially could lose her. Yet at the same time i had his family telling me to take him back.
You need to do whats best for you and your children. Dont rush the decision and dont let anybody push you into either one. I will say though that depending on what he has done you do need to think of your childrens safety. Leaving him nay upturn your family and upset the children but if it keeps them safe (as was the case with my daughter) then that may have to be something you go through.
You need to do whats best for you and your children. Dont rush the decision and dont let anybody push you into either one. I will say though that depending on what he has done you do need to think of your childrens safety. Leaving him nay upturn your family and upset the children but if it keeps them safe (as was the case with my daughter) then that may have to be something you go through.
I feel the same, I want to support him and so do my kids, luckily they are older 19 and 17 and I know he’s no risk to them.
I am losing my job due to this as I work for the police and I can’t associate with an offender, I have just qualified with a degree in criminology (which to be honest feels such a kick in the teeth now) so most of my options for careers using that are now closed to me.
my friends have turned their backs on me due to staying with him as they don’t agree but I’m doing what i think is right for my kids as they are also worried about their dad. I have no other close family, his parents live with us so I can’t send him to stay with them, if I choose to go separately with the kids I leave him and his parents alone and I believe this will kill them as they are already struggling and me and the kids are all that is keeping them going. And he will possibly have a further breakdown. My parent are gone and I have no siblings so I would also be out on my own with no support for me apart from the kids but don’t want to put the responsibility on them
I am losing my job due to this as I work for the police and I can’t associate with an offender, I have just qualified with a degree in criminology (which to be honest feels such a kick in the teeth now) so most of my options for careers using that are now closed to me.
my friends have turned their backs on me due to staying with him as they don’t agree but I’m doing what i think is right for my kids as they are also worried about their dad. I have no other close family, his parents live with us so I can’t send him to stay with them, if I choose to go separately with the kids I leave him and his parents alone and I believe this will kill them as they are already struggling and me and the kids are all that is keeping them going. And he will possibly have a further breakdown. My parent are gone and I have no siblings so I would also be out on my own with no support for me apart from the kids but don’t want to put the responsibility on them
My husband was arrest two weeks ago for talking to a undercover police office,, he is been charged with grooming and his family have turned away from him and telling me he is dead to them I understand there feels no warning signs this was coming he has borrow my 13 Yr old up with additional needs and we have 4 Yr old to and I believe he not done anything to them and has not access any picture or spoken to a child I am scared if I say out loud I want to support him they will all turn on and they all ready telling me I need to get a devorse from him,,, I am so worried about my 4 Yr old life been turned up side down she hangs on every word he say do u think its possible to get over this
Hi girls, this is so so tough. I'm going through a horrible time at the moment tbh and worrying i will be put in the impossible situation of choosing between my husband and my family. Something none of us should have to do.
I feel like we become guilty by association with our husbands. Just because we may choose to stand by them.. That doesn't mean that we will ever condone their behaviour. However.... We are allowed to try to understand what may have led to their behaviour. We are also allowed to try to rebuild our families. Ive read many posts on here whereby women have walked away and years down the line they are still so lonely and miss their partners so much. We deserve happiness.... After this bomb is dropped on our lives... We are allowed to put it back together.
Sending love and strength to all Xxxxx
I feel like we become guilty by association with our husbands. Just because we may choose to stand by them.. That doesn't mean that we will ever condone their behaviour. However.... We are allowed to try to understand what may have led to their behaviour. We are also allowed to try to rebuild our families. Ive read many posts on here whereby women have walked away and years down the line they are still so lonely and miss their partners so much. We deserve happiness.... After this bomb is dropped on our lives... We are allowed to put it back together.
Sending love and strength to all Xxxxx
I feel your pain..my husband was arrested last year when he downloaded kik and someone decided to send him a puesdo image and upon this happening he immediately deleted the image but left the application open which resulted in him being sent thousands of idecent images of children..
I believe him when he says he only downloaded it to chat to people and that he never requested these images or downloaded them..I will believe him until I hear different or am told different..of course I know he wouldn't harm our daughter, but because I won't actually admit to SS that he's a risk, I feel I'm being judged..
now before SS will allow contact in our home or even the return home, outstanding work has to be done where I'm to prove that I can notice the signs of child abuse..we're to have contact in the community out in the freezing cold until SW decides to get this work done .
it's an impossible situation
I believe him when he says he only downloaded it to chat to people and that he never requested these images or downloaded them..I will believe him until I hear different or am told different..of course I know he wouldn't harm our daughter, but because I won't actually admit to SS that he's a risk, I feel I'm being judged..
now before SS will allow contact in our home or even the return home, outstanding work has to be done where I'm to prove that I can notice the signs of child abuse..we're to have contact in the community out in the freezing cold until SW decides to get this work done .
it's an impossible situation