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This is trauma & we are victims

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AlwaysHopeful

Member since
March 2023

132 posts

Posted Wed September 20, 2023 10:25amReport post

Now that sentencing is done and I'm feeling a bit of relief around that, I'm beginning to realise that this is a huge trauma in our families lives. I've never said that before because I thought it would be selfish to even compare what I have gone through to the trauma that children all over the wolrd have to endure when becoming a part of this. Almost like it's selfish of me to allow or make anyone feel sympathy for me and my kids. But we are victims and our lives will never be the same. And that's really hit me over the past few days. It's over but it will never really be over.

Distraught_Smiles

Member since
August 2023

20 posts

Posted Wed September 20, 2023 10:35amReport post

Big Hugs xxxx

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

766 posts

Posted Wed September 20, 2023 10:35amReport post

AlwaysHopeful, Your post sums up my feelings too. I thought I'd feel a sense of relief when sentencing was done. Instead the anxiety I carried for the 2 years prior to sentencing continues as we try to navigate our way through the destruction, heartbreak and loss. Sending you a big virtual hug.

Edited Wed September 20, 2023 10:36am

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Wed September 20, 2023 3:04pmReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Wed September 20, 2023 3:05pmReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Anxious mummy

Member since
February 2023

99 posts

Posted Wed September 20, 2023 7:49pmReport post

This has been the most traumatising experience of my life. Particularly the early days. Don't feel you need to minimise the trauma. I still jump when someone knocks on the door and regularly have flashbacka to that day. I am seeing a therapist and he has identified it as trauma. Which needs to be talked through to move on. Big hugs x

Seaside

Member since
July 2022

560 posts

Posted Thu September 21, 2023 3:44pmReport post

This has definitely been the most traumatic experience I've ever experienced.

I have PTSD following the knock and the appalling way I was treated by the police and I regularly have flashbacks in addition to being very anxious at every knock on the door.

I am triggered by seeing police cars or even a car I don't know driving towards my house and I hate feeling like this.

We are the forgotten people in all this nightmare and more needs to be done to support the families and partners of our people

Distraught_Smiles

Member since
August 2023

20 posts

Posted Fri September 22, 2023 10:24amReport post

Couldn't agree more, the trauma is unbearable not just because of the situation but ongoing Stigma.

And it's not just for the families but for the men caught in these circumstances.

The Russell Brand controversy among other things has raised my anxiety, he is well aware of age of consent as 16 and before having a relationship verified the age.

Does it make him less of a perpetrator, the only difference is possibly because of his promiscous behaviour he is legally aware of consequences, even if he is mentally attracted to some one younger.



But for rest of the ordinary there is lifelong stigma and little support in the system for rehab.

Edited Fri September 22, 2023 10:25am