Ex In-Laws!
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So....When my ex husband left, his family (Mum, Sister & Brother) were no different with me or the children. Very helpful, sympathetic and visits to the children stayed the same as always. Then, out comes the affair and his girlfriend who was welcomed in like she’d always been there.
Slowly the visits kind of stopped. They went with their Dad and his gf for maybe 4/5 weekends and a week(Mon - Sun) on a holiday I didn’t know about and children were upset about, but my goodness did I need the break at the time!
Then BAM - ex gets arrested at work, advised to have supervised contact with children and all electronics seized.
The ex in-laws just stopped bothering all together. I tried sorting stuff out, but each time it’s just got left after a visit.
This time, their Nana didn’t message for 5 weeks since last visit and because I’ve not replied his sister messaged for the first time since last visit mid May!!
Am I right to be annoyed at the them 2.5 years in? I have before explained the upset everything has had on the children and they don’t even reply. Then weeks down the line I let them in again and I don’t have the strength to do it again.
The children are obviously excited to see their Nana, Aunt and young cousin and it’s so lovely to have them all together, but temperament I get After is not good and I don’t feel I can pick them up again if the ex in-laws aren’t going to bother again for weeks on end....
Any Nana’s etc out there? How have you managed your sons children after investigation/conviction?
thank you for any advice. Nearly 2 years in with ex-husband (left Nov 2016/divorced Sept 2017/arrested Aug 2017/remarried May 2019) still under investigation for communication with a 14/15 year old....
Slowly the visits kind of stopped. They went with their Dad and his gf for maybe 4/5 weekends and a week(Mon - Sun) on a holiday I didn’t know about and children were upset about, but my goodness did I need the break at the time!
Then BAM - ex gets arrested at work, advised to have supervised contact with children and all electronics seized.
The ex in-laws just stopped bothering all together. I tried sorting stuff out, but each time it’s just got left after a visit.
This time, their Nana didn’t message for 5 weeks since last visit and because I’ve not replied his sister messaged for the first time since last visit mid May!!
Am I right to be annoyed at the them 2.5 years in? I have before explained the upset everything has had on the children and they don’t even reply. Then weeks down the line I let them in again and I don’t have the strength to do it again.
The children are obviously excited to see their Nana, Aunt and young cousin and it’s so lovely to have them all together, but temperament I get After is not good and I don’t feel I can pick them up again if the ex in-laws aren’t going to bother again for weeks on end....
Any Nana’s etc out there? How have you managed your sons children after investigation/conviction?
thank you for any advice. Nearly 2 years in with ex-husband (left Nov 2016/divorced Sept 2017/arrested Aug 2017/remarried May 2019) still under investigation for communication with a 14/15 year old....
From my personal experience I think that is just some families. After my divorce my ex husband and his family just stopped bothering with me and my son. I remember my ex mother in law saying to me 'he's got a new family now'. Unfortunately it was my son who has been arrested for IIOC. And his dad has been nowhere near. It's sad, especially for the children. I bet you feel like giving in x
Hi Betty
Thank you for your reply & I’m sorry we are all going through this in different ways.
I have given in with one last message. My children love them, but I do not feel it should be me having to state the obvious each time.
I have suggested a routine and they are either in their lives or out. End of the line.
My ex being under investigation has not been acknowledged by them and when they do message, they sometimes ask how I am. Tonight ex Mother in-law has received an honest answer. I just do not have the energy to be rebuilding relationships lost by them!!! I’m already questioning why I’ve given in again!
it would have been Grandma’s (ex’s Grandma who I had the BEST relationship with) 80th Birthday tomorrow so I’m feeling really rubbish about it and know they will be too.
She was the best lady and is missed massively. I’ve not properly grieved for her yet as she only passed away last August.
Thank you massively for your reply and I’m sorry again to us all for going through this x
Thank you for your reply & I’m sorry we are all going through this in different ways.
I have given in with one last message. My children love them, but I do not feel it should be me having to state the obvious each time.
I have suggested a routine and they are either in their lives or out. End of the line.
My ex being under investigation has not been acknowledged by them and when they do message, they sometimes ask how I am. Tonight ex Mother in-law has received an honest answer. I just do not have the energy to be rebuilding relationships lost by them!!! I’m already questioning why I’ve given in again!
it would have been Grandma’s (ex’s Grandma who I had the BEST relationship with) 80th Birthday tomorrow so I’m feeling really rubbish about it and know they will be too.
She was the best lady and is missed massively. I’ve not properly grieved for her yet as she only passed away last August.
Thank you massively for your reply and I’m sorry again to us all for going through this x