Social services help !
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Unfortunately Sunny I haven't got any words of wisdom I can give you as we are still in the children's services system ourselves. I can send you a big hug though and hope there is someone in this group that can offer more help than I've done
Hi,
I'm sorry that you haven't had clear information from ss. I have a few questions about your situation; how old are your children? Had your partner moved in with you prior to their involvement? Do the breaches of not notifying address change relate to addresses where children live?
Have ss said what they would like to happen before downgrading the plan or them closing the case?
Looking at things from a ss perspective your relationship is relatively new and then if you throw in the failure to notify breaches it doesn't look great and could look like he had tried to hide the relationship and contact with your children.
I think using the terminology that you have on here like wanting to be a family again would raise alarm bells to them. I don't mean to sound harsh and obviously only you know your relationship but I'd be wary if any of my friends were talking in that way about somebody they met this year if they had children from a previous relationship taking the offence out of the equation.
Maybe slow down slightly on the need for him to have contact with your children for a while and do some safeguarding courses and work with your children around protecting themselves. When you say he's 3 years off the register do you mean it ends in 2026 or he has been off it for 3 years? If he is still on it then what are the thoughts of his offender manager on your relationship and the fact that you have children? Ss rarely keep the men in the loop tbh but I'd imagine even more so when they aren't his children.
Again, I'm sorry if anything I've said has upset you in any way I'm just trying to say things as I think ss would see them. I hope that you get answers soon as to why it's escalated to child protection and what needs to happen in order to get downgraded or case closed xxx
I'm sorry that you haven't had clear information from ss. I have a few questions about your situation; how old are your children? Had your partner moved in with you prior to their involvement? Do the breaches of not notifying address change relate to addresses where children live?
Have ss said what they would like to happen before downgrading the plan or them closing the case?
Looking at things from a ss perspective your relationship is relatively new and then if you throw in the failure to notify breaches it doesn't look great and could look like he had tried to hide the relationship and contact with your children.
I think using the terminology that you have on here like wanting to be a family again would raise alarm bells to them. I don't mean to sound harsh and obviously only you know your relationship but I'd be wary if any of my friends were talking in that way about somebody they met this year if they had children from a previous relationship taking the offence out of the equation.
Maybe slow down slightly on the need for him to have contact with your children for a while and do some safeguarding courses and work with your children around protecting themselves. When you say he's 3 years off the register do you mean it ends in 2026 or he has been off it for 3 years? If he is still on it then what are the thoughts of his offender manager on your relationship and the fact that you have children? Ss rarely keep the men in the loop tbh but I'd imagine even more so when they aren't his children.
Again, I'm sorry if anything I've said has upset you in any way I'm just trying to say things as I think ss would see them. I hope that you get answers soon as to why it's escalated to child protection and what needs to happen in order to get downgraded or case closed xxx
Hi
My partner is 3 years off the register , my children are all aged under 10 .
The breach was he was meant to sign to say where he is living every year and he missed one appointment. I totally get what your saying regarding pushing to want to be a family . We have took the appropriate steps and he has found his own place to live etc as advised by SS . I guess with anything like this you just want an end goal . I've never been involved with SS before so it is distressing . Thanks for your reply's
My partner is 3 years off the register , my children are all aged under 10 .
The breach was he was meant to sign to say where he is living every year and he missed one appointment. I totally get what your saying regarding pushing to want to be a family . We have took the appropriate steps and he has found his own place to live etc as advised by SS . I guess with anything like this you just want an end goal . I've never been involved with SS before so it is distressing . Thanks for your reply's
Hello, can I ask if he has been off the register for 3 years then why does he have to notify of address changes? Sorry, no help to your situation, I just wondered?
I didn't think social services would get involved if his already off the register because that would mean he has no shpo either and wouldn't be needing to tell them where he is. So I'm guessing his still on the register and has shpo conditions aswell as. Most of us on here have children and we never dreamt of being involved with social services or any thing else of this matter. It would be a big red flag for me that he has been let near your children so quickly into a relationship especially with knowing what his done. There will definitely need a plan in place it took two years for me to get social services to close the case and that was with a lot of hard work with numerous courses and people involved
Hi Sunny,
I think it would be worth you doing a subject access request through your local authority to see what information they hold on your partner aswell as what agencies they have spoken to in order to gain the information. It may give you a clearer picture of what their concerns are.
Have you had any updates following the strategy meeting in writing? Sometimes when we're in a heightened state of anxiety we don't always take in everything that's said to us. I'm sure everyone on here who has dealt with ss will agree that it is distressing and it's only after the event that we're able to look back and pick up on things that we missed or misunderstood at the time.
It can be painful to read the reports but it's about knowing what you're facing to make well informed decisions about your future. If the breaches were over three years ago then really his offender manager should have taken whatever action was appropriate at the time and whilst ss may have still been involved because of his past there should be reports that state what risk he posed at the end of his time on the register. I believe they can apply for conditions and length of time on the register to be extended if they have concerns but hopefully someone more knowledgeable will comment if that's incorrect.
Try to keep a level headed approach with them and show that you understand their concerns when you know what they are xx
I think it would be worth you doing a subject access request through your local authority to see what information they hold on your partner aswell as what agencies they have spoken to in order to gain the information. It may give you a clearer picture of what their concerns are.
Have you had any updates following the strategy meeting in writing? Sometimes when we're in a heightened state of anxiety we don't always take in everything that's said to us. I'm sure everyone on here who has dealt with ss will agree that it is distressing and it's only after the event that we're able to look back and pick up on things that we missed or misunderstood at the time.
It can be painful to read the reports but it's about knowing what you're facing to make well informed decisions about your future. If the breaches were over three years ago then really his offender manager should have taken whatever action was appropriate at the time and whilst ss may have still been involved because of his past there should be reports that state what risk he posed at the end of his time on the register. I believe they can apply for conditions and length of time on the register to be extended if they have concerns but hopefully someone more knowledgeable will comment if that's incorrect.
Try to keep a level headed approach with them and show that you understand their concerns when you know what they are xx