Family and Friends Forum

Hi,

Can I message you x

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Even if it's an actual contact offence, like images viewed on line - every case is different, circumstances differ, but again this is not took into account by media, you are immediately labelled as a P/monster. I'll just point out I'm not condoning any of these crimes or minimising its seriousness.

My son had been in prison for a while before his case hit the media, I don't think he ever looked at the write up - as you say Blue Sky on the outside we are put at risk by this.

I also agree, there's no need for it to be made public!! For me the fear of it getting into the public is worse then finding out what my husband had been up to, even worse then finding out he cheated on me with men!!



I feel like the repercussions it'll have on my children will be way worse then my husband. I'm a very anxious persons anyway and I just wouldn't be able to cope if it was to get out, I'd be constantly worrying.

Confusedwife, In my sons case our fears about the media all came true with the headline calling him a p. It's still early days, but to date there have been no repercussions on family or his children although it has affected his ability to leave the house in case someone he knows sees him. I just keep telling myself that in time, people won't remember the details of what they read in the media as the report contained exaggerations and untruths.

I think your right Ocean- memories fade and other poor soles come along for people to focus on!

I remain quite paranoid.

I recently put myself in an awkward place when asked about my address. It caught up with me and perhaps made matters worse, as the person must have thought the daft woman doesn't know where she lives!!!!

The shame is annoying when your an innocent party and just want to live your life without fear.

My person, my brother, was sent to prison. We knew nothing. We read it in the papers just like everyone else. He kept it from us. He lived with mum still. Five days after as we were coming out from visiting my husband collapsed having suffered a stroke. The neighbours stood and watched. Not one offered to help or even spoke. Thankfully he's OK.

Just over a week later my mums house was attacked and smashed up at 11pm. She was 72 and alone.

Whilst he was in prison it was us who was paying for his crime.

The media have a lot to answer for.

I'm with you Smile on the paranoia. If someone gives me a look , doesn't say hello, asks a question etc I immediately associate it with what's happened. In reality, that neighbour who didn't wave to me last week just didn't see me, the question asked was just an innocent question and the odd look wasn't odd at all. Knowing this doesn't stop my paranoia but I hope that reminding myself of the reality each time something happens will gradually reduce the number of times and extent of my paranoia.

I hear you. We are due for sentencing next month and once I am emotionally strong I want to be a voice for this community and our children. I don't know what that might look like but my god, if some good can come out of this then I will do what I can. I hate the way we have to hide in the shadows. We have done nothing wrong and neither have our children

I have been thinking more recently due to a recent childrens services referral (in my opinion was wrongly made but that's another thread)

Everyone can appreciate the distress and other emotions a child victim my face when the images have been shared around. This is also backed up by professionals stating the harm IIOC cause to a child when viewed even if no contact.



Ofcourse people need to be brought to justice for the crimes they have committed and the correct people being made aware to ensure children are safeguarded. However

With multiple referrals made and this information being shared with 'professionals' each time how are the children of the offender meant to feel. How do they get on in life to think oh does everyone know my father is an RSO people. Walking down the town wondering does that officer know I'm the child of a RSO or the teacher when they are older and children go to the same school they will know and the information share - sorry we all know this information isn't confidential. Grandchildren going to the gp Gp has on file family member was an RSO. Does anyone think this doesn't affect the children. I know it's not a direct comparison Ofcourse not those children have has their innocent taken however there is still going to be a mental toll taking on the children of parents commuting these crimes.

I hate the not knowing what has been shared and with who. Who needs lies and who I could perhaps talk to!

It's my biggest fear when my oh gets sentenced that it will go in the papers. Also I don't get why the papers actually have such freedom and why the public can go in the court room in these cases. The person signs the SOR. The SOR isn't public you can't just rock upto the police station and ask to see who's on it yet the media can release names?!. So why are there names and streets released when the sor is supposed to be private and only the police and other agencies know