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Just need support

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Nattt

Member since
June 2022

18 posts

Posted Fri September 29, 2023 10:45amReport post

Just need support.

When the knock happened I was heavily pregnant and stayed with my partner for a short amount of time but could get past it so we broke up. However I maintain a relationship for the sake of my daughter and I'm sharing a chin plan with his family for my daughter sake

More and more people are finding out and my ex has now lost his job which has stripped away the financial support I was getting from him.this makes things tougher financially.

On top of that I have family not wanting anything to do with me as they can't understand why I am maintaining a relationship with him and his family.

I feel so alone and scared all the time, how am I'm supposed to get through this and why does it feel like I'm the one that committed the crime. Its certainly how others are making me feel.

We have a court date now so it's only a matter of time before more people know and I'm stuck as to whether to tell other close people before they find out from someone else.but if I tell thease people and they react the same as my family I don't think I can cope.

I'm bringing up a child, trying to hold down a job and doing my best not to fall apart, but people around me just keep making it harder.

I feel like it would just be better if I wasn't here and the only thing that keeps me going is my daughter.

Why can't people just be kind.

Sorry for this depressing post but i have know where else to turn and at the end of my rope.

Thanks

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2550 posts

Posted Fri September 29, 2023 11:31amReport post

Hi Nattt /. Bless you, you've certainly had a pile of things to deal with. Carnt offer you much - but just to let you know on this forum you definitely have a listening ear and we are with you all the way.

family pressure/relationships are the hardest to deal with as any compassion seems to just go out the window. It's replaced by mistrust and heartache......

hug forwarded x

Edited Fri September 29, 2023 11:54am

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

766 posts

Posted Fri September 29, 2023 11:48amReport post

Oh Nattt, my heart just breaks for you. You have done so well in managing to remain focused on what's best for your child whilst at the same time, working, worrying about finances and trying to maintain a good relationship with your daughters Dad and his family. That's such a lot to deal with without family turning away from you.
I realise you are feeling alone but we are all here for you to offer friendship and support.
The decision of whether to tell people what has happened needs to be yours as I don't believe there is a best way of dealing with that decision. In my persons case, we chose to tell a few people who we believed would support us. We lost some people which hurt but others have been really supportive. Our world may now be smaller in terms of friends and family but we really appreciate the love and support of those that are in it.
The weeks leading up to court are so difficult as are the weeks following. The only suggestions I have, and I know they are all difficult to achieve, is to take one hour at a time, to try and focus on those who are there for you rather than those who aren't and to try and take time to be kind to yourself. I don't know if it will work for you, but I continued to be kind to those who were trying to cut themselves off from me and gradually they have started to respond positively to this.
Sending you my love and support.

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

997 posts

Posted Fri September 29, 2023 12:27pmReport post

Hi,

This is such a hard part of this journey that I don't think enough is done to address. We are left being single parents whilst going through hell. The practical side of running a household, working and meeting our children's needs whilst managing our own emotions, ss involvement and all that brings and the opinions of others is absolutely exhausting.

I told people and my person was in the press so anyone who didn't know did afterwards. I've had a mixture of support, peoples negative opinions and others who have just backed off entirely. I've had to tell people that I don't have the head space to deal with their emotions on it while I'm working out my own. Their decisions are their own and so are mine and both should be respected.

Its hard but you will find your way forward xxx

Nattt

Member since
June 2022

18 posts

Posted Fri September 29, 2023 1:15pmReport post

Thank you all.

Just needed to get it all of my chest this morning and nice to know people are there even if we are all strangers to each other.

It's just so unfair and I'm sorry we are all going through this.the level of understanding, patience and strength we all have to display witn very little support is just so tough someday.

I think all the wife's and mother's on here that are going through this are superwoman!