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Fridays check in x

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Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2401 posts

Posted Fri September 29, 2023 4:54pmReport post

Evening lovlies x

This week has flown by yet again, I cant believe we are almost in October!

I hope your week has been kind, a few new posts I see , its heartwrenching isn't it :-( x

As you know it was my sons Birthday and we had our video call, he was in good spirits considering and while i smiled on the outside my heart was so heavy and i could have cried but my amazing daughter as always managed to make him laugh and our conversations were as positive as could be , we have a visit tomorrow so the money bag is filled ready to spend on some well deserved decent bits to eat , he is well in himself so what more could I hope for,

I hope your weekend ahead is filled with some sort of normality and time for yourselfs to do something nice amongst this difficult journey

Love sent as always xxx

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

766 posts

Posted Fri September 29, 2023 5:21pmReport post

I'm a newbie who crept in tentatively. Initially I worried about joining in threads as I felt I was too new to the forum. I'm now beginning to realise that doesn't matter. We're all here through no fault of our own and all need the friendship and support this group offers
My week has been a week of ups and downs. We are 2 weeks post sentencing and 1 week since the case last hit the media. SS have not got back to my son yet to answer questions raised about supervised visits, my son has now formally lost his job and we've started the process of appealing 1 restriction in the SHPO to ask for the age range in the restriction regarding no unsupervised contact with under 18 year olds to be reduced to 16 years to make finding a job easier.
In between this we have had times this week when we have been able to spend time with family and friends after isolating ourselves from the world for so long.
It's still very early days for us and that feeling that something bad is about to happen hasn't yet left me but I realise from reading posts on here that I'm not alone and that's a real comfort.

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2401 posts

Posted Fri September 29, 2023 6:02pmReport post

Ocean x

Hi lovely, it does not matter if your new to the forum we are all here to offer support and comfort and this is the one place where we all have the same thing in common, there is no judgement here just endless warmth and understanding xx

I hope you are looking after yourself, unfortunately this journey brings so much uncertainty, upheaval and tears but we get through each day as best we can x

I hope the SHPO is amended for your son and he will find work it may be something completely different but he will get there, how is he doing? x

Confusedwife

Member since
October 2022

169 posts

Posted Fri September 29, 2023 6:04pmReport post

Evening upset,



hope your son had a nice birthday, and glad you enjoyed your video call.



I know I can't believe it's almost October Iv no idea where the hell this year has gone!! Iv decided to start Christmas now and make the most of it as it goes too fast!! Since we were told 500 days for devices to now be checked since they've now sent them away somewhere else to get checked. We've decided to go on holiday at Christmas, we kinda thought sod let's stick it on a credit card!! So we're off for a Christmassy holiday in the snow... making the most of it whilst we can.

Webb89

Member since
July 2022

438 posts

Posted Fri September 29, 2023 6:18pmReport post

Hello friday check in. My week has been good generally. I continue to go dancing which brings me such joy. Trying to find another thing to start up. I went for a long walk last Saturday and got another one tomorrow. This helps me. I have just arranged for more counselling which is starting next week. In a bizarre way i am looking forward to it.
I have done a lot of soul searching. I thought a close member of my family, sadly its my only one as all close family have died, had my back. But no, they decided to make my life more difficult under the guise of supporting. Which they are on the face of it but not really. This made me very upset and sent me to a dark place. I started looking up the media reports of my OH, which I always do when i get depressed. But i decided I was not going to let them get to me. So feeling loads more positive and trying to organise things to make me busy. Arranged a few outings to the various xmas markets and looking at going on holiday on my own. Though I am not sure if i have the confidence to do that. Have decided to try and do things that i am not relying on anyone else. That way I cannot be let down.

My fur babies also keep me sane, bless them.

I hope you will give us the run down on the hungry caterpillar tomorrow, Upset. And how lovely a holiday in the xmas snow....



hope everyone has a good week. X

Edited Fri September 29, 2023 6:20pm

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

766 posts

Posted Fri September 29, 2023 6:33pmReport post

Thank you Upset mum for such a warm welcome. I'm really pleased with the way my son is managing considering he has lost everything. He is currently unable to risk going out anywhere he thinks he could see someone he knows but has left the house a couple of times this week to drive somewhere quiet and go for a walk. It's so hard and painful watching the person I love unconditionally being so anxious and sad. But i'm here to walk the painful journey with him and will remain right by his side.

Inthemoment

Member since
February 2023

358 posts

Posted Fri September 29, 2023 7:05pmReport post

Rough week for us, my person received charges (after a 4 hour wait at the station due to disorganisation on their part). Charges were in his new name so that felt like a relief. Court date is very soon, so that's come as a shock

Hope you're all ok out there and happy birthday to your son

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2401 posts

Posted Fri September 29, 2023 7:16pmReport post

Confused x

Absolutely stuff it enjoy the well needed and deserved break , the length of this journey is bloody horrendous isn't it, in not sure of Christmas plans are as yet but thinking of starting the prezzie shopping x

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2401 posts

Posted Fri September 29, 2023 7:24pmReport post

Hi Webb x

Glad your week has been better for you and that you are enjoying the dancing classes, good to hear the furbabys are keeping you busy and that you are getting out for some nice long walks, not sure where you are but I can tell you have some beautiful walking trails to walk and let the fresh air clear your head x

Family or not no one has the right to take you to a dark place emotionally, they dont walk in your shoes, put them out of your thoughts and continue to get stronger and stronger every day look how far you have come so far under this pressure, the counselling will deffinatly help and it's good your looking forward to it x

Always here if you ever need to off load the pressures xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2401 posts

Posted Fri September 29, 2023 7:28pmReport post

Ocean x

Bless , tell your son no matter how tough things are at the moment he will get through this , he has you by his side and as mums our love is unconditional, the sun will shine again he just needs to take a day at a time , the road ahead will have obstacles but he will get through it and so will you x

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2401 posts

Posted Fri September 29, 2023 7:36pmReport post

Inthemoment x

Sorry it's been a tough week for you both,

I am not surprised the police left your OH waiting for so long totally incompetent bunch (that's me holding back on what I could call them)

As much as your anxiety will kick in as court is imminent this part does need to happen just so you actually know what the outcome is and then try to rebuild, the waiting is so bloody long , but you will get through this xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2401 posts

Posted Fri September 29, 2023 9:48pmReport post

Parkerpoo1

Aww Bless you, I cant imagine how difficult this is for you, just awful xx

Try to just think about what you need as for the house that is something you deffinatly do not need to think about at this time,

Sending hugs and strength to you xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2550 posts

Posted Sat September 30, 2023 7:46amReport post

Hi everyone. Good your ok Upset - yes we get a big lump in our throat on birthdays, it's my sons soon. It's hard to pick a suitable card I can tell you!!!!!!! You managed a laugh, that's good and get a hug today when you see your boy :-)

as for me, a week that's flown by. Had a busy time in the garden, I love tackling a mess - gardening is so satisfying.

My sons phone routine has changed now he's in a different part of the prison plus sharing. He misses slots we've arranged which I try not to get worked up about, but I miss our personal space to be honest. Still, it is what it is x

nice outing planned with the grandkids tomo, so look forward to that x

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2401 posts

Posted Sat September 30, 2023 3:53pmReport post

Hi lovely ladies x

We had a lovely visit as always, he was in good spirits and my daughter as always brings the laughter out in him

Today was the first time I have actually been embarrassed ordering our first round of food

A cup of tea for me, a bottle of fruit Oasis for my son & daughter

Then 5 rounds of toast yep 5 (2 slices per order) for 3 people lol I had 2 so you can guess who had the rest!

A bag of peanut M&Ms , 3 bourbon biscuits

A banana, bag of crisps, a pot of double chocolate icecream, a ham sandwich (more bread)

Then a breather bearing in mind this was consumed by 10am

My 2nd cup of tea

Son then had a slice of chocolate cake, a toasted teacake (wasnt keen on that) :-)

Another ham sandwich followed by another pot of chocolate icecream

He was then full!

When we left I think it was going to be a nap before gym this afternoon xx

Dawn19

Member since
June 2023

149 posts

Posted Sat September 30, 2023 4:16pmReport post

Hello everyone

It has been a mixture of sad and good moments this week. I found one of our guinea pigs dead in her pen. The other guinea pig is now wandering around looking lost, so will have to get t her a friend soon.

My daughter is having a baby. We have known since August but have only started telling people this week. It was a shock at first as she and her boyfriend are only 18, but we've all got used to it.

My other daughter loves to act and every year auditions for the school play. She found out what part she has this week which is worse than her part last year. This year they are doing Frozen and is her last chance for a decent part. All the same children get good parts every year but my daughter is always overlooked. The teachers don't know what she does as they dont give her a chance. She is very disappointed x

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

997 posts

Posted Sat September 30, 2023 4:37pmReport post

That's quite an impressive list lol. Glad you had a good visit xxx



Dawn, sorry about your Guinea pig. Congratulations to your daughter and her boyfriend. I was 18 when I had my first. It's amazing and difficult no matter what age you are. Is your other daughter part of a drama club outside of school? If you have one locally it might be worth exploring with her xxx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2401 posts

Posted Sat September 30, 2023 5:42pmReport post

Dawn

So sorry your week has been filled with both sadness and joy x

Deffinatly get a friend for the GP they so need company x

Congratulations on been a nanny to be

Try to look at the dissapointmens as a positive in the way this journey has been you have strength beyond belief and no matter what you will get through it xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2401 posts

Posted Sat September 30, 2023 5:47pmReport post

Distressed

Honestly I have no idea where he puts it , you would think he would be above his weight with the food he eats but he really doesn't, the gym helps, he looks so well considering, when he was held on remand he lost so much weight and his MH was awful, I am so so proud how much he has coped x

Dawn19

Member since
June 2023

149 posts

Posted Sat September 30, 2023 7:51pmReport post

Distressed

My daughter is also part of a local youth drama group. She enjoys it and the bloke that runs it as a lot more faith in her than her school drama teacher. Outside of school, she is in 2 plays (Much Ado About Nothing and Troilus and Cressida - they are doing Shakespeare at the moment) and she is going to be part of the pantomime they always put on every year.