Denial
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Anyone else's OH/ person still in denial? They found the images through a 'key word' on Omegle. It's pretty obvious that this key word is to find this specific illegal content but they want me to believe it generates a mix of legal and non legal. I keep saying if you want legal, then you'd go on legal porn sites. I just feel like I'm having the same argument over and over again and feel so jealous of other couples that don't have to go through this.
https://www.verywellmind.com/denial-as-a-defense-mechanism-5114461
It's always seems strange to me, that denial and minimisation in the context of offending is treated differently to denial in other circumstances.
If you google the word denial, it's usually talked about in the context of either bereavement or addiction, where most of us accept it as a normal and necessary defence against painful thoughts and feelings.
But it's only when denial occurs in relation to offending, that it is regarded as unacceptable and not permitted. Yet to me its purpose is exactly the same. The person is trying to protect themselves from harm. So instead of challenging the denial, perhaps a better solution is to just to accept it for now and let the person come to their own acceptance of what they have done.
Shame is a very painful emotion and even if the person knows they did something wrong, perhaps they cannot admit that to others at the moment, because the shame would be too painful for them.
It's always seems strange to me, that denial and minimisation in the context of offending is treated differently to denial in other circumstances.
If you google the word denial, it's usually talked about in the context of either bereavement or addiction, where most of us accept it as a normal and necessary defence against painful thoughts and feelings.
But it's only when denial occurs in relation to offending, that it is regarded as unacceptable and not permitted. Yet to me its purpose is exactly the same. The person is trying to protect themselves from harm. So instead of challenging the denial, perhaps a better solution is to just to accept it for now and let the person come to their own acceptance of what they have done.
Shame is a very painful emotion and even if the person knows they did something wrong, perhaps they cannot admit that to others at the moment, because the shame would be too painful for them.
Brilliant response Edel. Shame is massive, and we've all lied and minimised
I hope your person is able to come to recognise what they've done in a timescale that allows your to work together and for him to access support and therapy etc before you get further into the criminal procedures
I hope your person is able to come to recognise what they've done in a timescale that allows your to work together and for him to access support and therapy etc before you get further into the criminal procedures