Three weeks in!!
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Where to begin... my OH joined an adult dating site. He'd been chatting to a few women and after a few days two of these people said they were 14. He didn't end the chat!! So he was sending sexual communication. Asking them sexual things and also sent one a picture of his penis. After a few days one the women he was talking to ( not any of the 14 year olds ) asked if he wanted to meet to see how they got on and he said yes. When he got there it was a vigilante group who then filmed him and posted on Facebook. The two 14 years were decoys. Which I know is just as bad as they could have been actual children. He was arrested there and is now on pre-charge bail for sexual communication with a person under 16. He's back in Dec to answer bail but reading these accounts I can imagine not a lot will have been done. I've moved out but we're still in contact. We've been together 5 years and have bought a house together. I have more options regarding places to stay so he's staying in the house for the time being. Some of his family have reached out via me but he is reluctant to contact them. His grown up son has had no contact. He had a first meeting with a therapist yesterday which he's funding himself. I've had lots of support and I'm going back to work next week to see how I get on. I just wanted to tell my story really. It's just heartbreaking. You think you've got life a bit sussed. Holidays booked. Comfortable life etc and now in my 50s I'm thinking what the hell am I going to do. X
Hi , my OH was arrested after conversing with a vigilante decoy. We're 6 months in and still together. It's been horrendous but it does get easier. You will get through it and you certainly learn who your friends are.
Sorry Caggie164 that you find yourself if this 'club'. I'm not great at giving advice but please try to look after yourself (easier said than done when your world has literally imploded).
it's good that your OH is seeking help off his own back.
Reach out to people on here, the majority of us are non judgemental and have been a great source of comfort to me on my own 'journey'
sending a hug x
it's good that your OH is seeking help off his own back.
Reach out to people on here, the majority of us are non judgemental and have been a great source of comfort to me on my own 'journey'
sending a hug x
Hi caggie, welcome to the group that no one wants to be part of. I'm sorry that you've been put in this position it's so unfair that any of us have to go through this.
All I can say is take one day at a time and give yourself time to process what's happened, your not alone.
Please reach out to this group at any point if you need advice or just to vent as this forum really is a lifeline for us. I know It's really helped me over the last year and 3 months. Xxx
All I can say is take one day at a time and give yourself time to process what's happened, your not alone.
Please reach out to this group at any point if you need advice or just to vent as this forum really is a lifeline for us. I know It's really helped me over the last year and 3 months. Xxx
I am so sorry that you've found yourself here but you've come to the right place for support and guidance.
I believe it's important to remember that you've been though a life changing trauma so will still be in shock at the moment. If you haven't already done so, you might want to consider contacting your GP for some support. It's great that your OH has had his first meeting with a therapist but you also need to explore some options of help for yourself.
It's going to take time for you to process what's happened, during which you may go through a whole range of emotions and feelings and that's ok. The police investigation will also take time so there's no need to make any hasty decisions.
There are many of us on here who are travelling the same journey so remember that you are not alone and we are here to support you.
I believe it's important to remember that you've been though a life changing trauma so will still be in shock at the moment. If you haven't already done so, you might want to consider contacting your GP for some support. It's great that your OH has had his first meeting with a therapist but you also need to explore some options of help for yourself.
It's going to take time for you to process what's happened, during which you may go through a whole range of emotions and feelings and that's ok. The police investigation will also take time so there's no need to make any hasty decisions.
There are many of us on here who are travelling the same journey so remember that you are not alone and we are here to support you.
I'm a couple of weeks in myself so can't really offer any advice other than to say big hugs and I feel so similar... A life/ future/ peace of mind changed in an instant. Hang in there and be kind to yourself. Live for 1 day/ week at a time x
Thanks all for your lovely messages of support. I've had a lot of support from family and friends but it's such a horrid subject that I suppose only other people going through this truly understand what it's like. Once again thank you x