Does it ever get better?
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If I may, I'm curious to understand how many of us here, have closely supported their person in the early days, throughout the limbo waiting year(s), through the case, prison or sentencing and afterwards, the judgement from the public and people you know.. where ever you are in this journey, have you got to a point where you are glad you stayed close with them? Have a better life on the other side? That the difficult journey & pain was worth the peace you have now or see coming after?
Hi SummerSun,
I'm 4 years post knock and I stayed with my OH. Life is different in some respects but what you find through this whole process is who your real friends are, and that includes family.
I have written quite a few blogs on the world according to the knock website detailing our journey, please feel free to take a look.
There is no right or wrong whether you stay or go, you must do what is right for you. You will need strength and resilience to get through the process and you will be different at the end of it. I've always been a nurturer and this has emphasised that part of my nature. I also found an inner strength that I didn't know I had, I still look back and think how the hell did I survive that. I did survive and want to help those at the start of the process by showing that this is survivable.
Sending love x
I'm 4 years post knock and I stayed with my OH. Life is different in some respects but what you find through this whole process is who your real friends are, and that includes family.
I have written quite a few blogs on the world according to the knock website detailing our journey, please feel free to take a look.
There is no right or wrong whether you stay or go, you must do what is right for you. You will need strength and resilience to get through the process and you will be different at the end of it. I've always been a nurturer and this has emphasised that part of my nature. I also found an inner strength that I didn't know I had, I still look back and think how the hell did I survive that. I did survive and want to help those at the start of the process by showing that this is survivable.
Sending love x
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Hiya.
So we are now 18 months on from sentencing. If anything we are stronger and better. We have a chat about it around once a month.
He has completed all the community service and now just started worked on going back to work with probation. They have sorted out his CV.
We have been on holidays in uk , we don't even do overseas holiday before this so all good.
We havnt told a soul and won't either.
xx
So we are now 18 months on from sentencing. If anything we are stronger and better. We have a chat about it around once a month.
He has completed all the community service and now just started worked on going back to work with probation. They have sorted out his CV.
We have been on holidays in uk , we don't even do overseas holiday before this so all good.
We havnt told a soul and won't either.
xx
I am 16 months post sentencing and i am still undecided to stay or go. I dont thnk he has told me the truth about his offending and i dont feel able to talk about it. So i am getting councelling to try and help me get the courage. We should have done it at the beginning but it is now more difficult. We live together but i dont feel we are a couple. I have lost friends and family have been difficult. So it has not been an easy journey for me. I put on a smile and pretend to everyone i am fine when i am not so hoping the new councillor will aid me in this. I write this just so people are aware there is no time limit on these things.
I'm also interested in this, we are 9 months post knock and I intend to stay with my partner and hope to live as a family with my toddler again post sentencing, which we think will be within the next 3-4 months (plea hearing this month).
I have a feeling the toughest parts of this are yet to come but we will see!
I have a feeling the toughest parts of this are yet to come but we will see!
Hello all,
I felt awful for the whole period upto charge. That took 18 mths. 18 mths of sleepless nights, stomach churns, shame, sadness, sometimes hate, not functioning etc. Even a period of wanting to end it all, to stop those feelings once and for all.
Weirdly, once he was charged I felt relief, that at least we're heading to the end of the uncertainty.
I also built up the courage to tell my nearest and dearest. All have been unbelievably supportive, kind and 'normal'. From that i have been able to sleep a full night most of each week.
He has been to plea hearing, pleading guilty. Sentencing due in a couple of weeks. I feel odd but my overwhelming feeling now is "it is what it is". I think because it's totally out of my control.
I'm certainly not minimising things but oddly i'm resigned to it and look forward to this whole thing ending. Of course there will be monitoring re sor etc but i have to/can live with that. We don't have children. Btw my heart goes out to anyone who has to deal with the SS involvement that i read about on here. I had no idea.
I'm expecting sentencing week to be difficult, but hoping that post sentencing will be the next stage of 'moving on'.
I know what that saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" now means.
Xx
I felt awful for the whole period upto charge. That took 18 mths. 18 mths of sleepless nights, stomach churns, shame, sadness, sometimes hate, not functioning etc. Even a period of wanting to end it all, to stop those feelings once and for all.
Weirdly, once he was charged I felt relief, that at least we're heading to the end of the uncertainty.
I also built up the courage to tell my nearest and dearest. All have been unbelievably supportive, kind and 'normal'. From that i have been able to sleep a full night most of each week.
He has been to plea hearing, pleading guilty. Sentencing due in a couple of weeks. I feel odd but my overwhelming feeling now is "it is what it is". I think because it's totally out of my control.
I'm certainly not minimising things but oddly i'm resigned to it and look forward to this whole thing ending. Of course there will be monitoring re sor etc but i have to/can live with that. We don't have children. Btw my heart goes out to anyone who has to deal with the SS involvement that i read about on here. I had no idea.
I'm expecting sentencing week to be difficult, but hoping that post sentencing will be the next stage of 'moving on'.
I know what that saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" now means.
Xx
Thanks so much for the candid responses, it means so much.. x
I do see abundant strength in you just describing how far you have all come. I see how much light is woven into your responses regarding the future. That you see a future. It's very encouraging.
At the moment, I can't see past feeling safe & protecting my sanity, just getting through each day. I don't feel resilient, I feel lost, mistrusting & very anxious about all the curveballs that keep coming. I wish it was as straightforward as 1 issue, but it's the constant moving goal posts & the millions of variables. I wake up each day hoping for things to start to plateau a little just so I can stabilise what I'm feeling. I know that reading your posts here is the biggest comfort, having some level of understanding.
Thankyou xx
I do see abundant strength in you just describing how far you have all come. I see how much light is woven into your responses regarding the future. That you see a future. It's very encouraging.
At the moment, I can't see past feeling safe & protecting my sanity, just getting through each day. I don't feel resilient, I feel lost, mistrusting & very anxious about all the curveballs that keep coming. I wish it was as straightforward as 1 issue, but it's the constant moving goal posts & the millions of variables. I wake up each day hoping for things to start to plateau a little just so I can stabilise what I'm feeling. I know that reading your posts here is the biggest comfort, having some level of understanding.
Thankyou xx
I have chosen to stay with my husband of 17 years, we will rebuild our life together. Knock to sentencing was 18 months of absolute emotional hell, an unexpected custodial sentence threw added turmoil into the mix in January. As I tried to come to terms with the results of sentencing life just kept on giving and my husband suffered a serious heart attack 2 weeks into his sentence. Suddenly the only thing that mattered was life. The journey that has followed has been one of self discovery and rebuilding, not of us but of me. Rebuilding us will come later. This has changed me and I believe it's for the better. Despite my husband being in prison I feel grounded and strong. I don't give my energy to things I can't control anymore. Life is precious. x
I totally agree Life feels Over. Life is extremely precious and we must do our best to live it and do so in a way that gives us peace.
In this journey it's so easy to be swayed by others but I quickly discovered it's my life, as long as I'm not hurting anyone, I'm going to live it my way. Perhaps sounds selfish but you carnt just go along with others, live how they feel you should, at the cost of your own happiness.
In this journey it's so easy to be swayed by others but I quickly discovered it's my life, as long as I'm not hurting anyone, I'm going to live it my way. Perhaps sounds selfish but you carnt just go along with others, live how they feel you should, at the cost of your own happiness.