So fed up
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I'm hoping someone can advise me on what my next steps are with SS..
Currently on CIN plan. Have 2 children from previous, and child together with my person of concern. Currently living seperately, older children have no contact at all as he holds no PR for them.. (their biological father doesnt know)... With my youngest i have to supervise along with a third party, someone from out family network. - this has been going on for 6months. When the plan started i was classed as naive and i needed to understand the risks. I put myself forward for the inform course which i completed a few months ago, have completed some online modules too regarding safeguarding my children, and also have put myself forward for another which i start at the end of this month. SS came for a visit last week and basically said even though ive completed work, and doing all i can, its basically not good enough and that third party will stay in place for contact for the forseeable! - which i'm so not happy with. I'm doing everything possible but it seems its still not enough. And never have i ever said "no risk" or minimised/condoned my persons behaviour. Its really quite the opposite, but since ive began to understand more in which to led to this path, i feel i'm being punished for continuing the relationship.
Nothing is consistent with them, and i don't really know what to do!
Currently on CIN plan. Have 2 children from previous, and child together with my person of concern. Currently living seperately, older children have no contact at all as he holds no PR for them.. (their biological father doesnt know)... With my youngest i have to supervise along with a third party, someone from out family network. - this has been going on for 6months. When the plan started i was classed as naive and i needed to understand the risks. I put myself forward for the inform course which i completed a few months ago, have completed some online modules too regarding safeguarding my children, and also have put myself forward for another which i start at the end of this month. SS came for a visit last week and basically said even though ive completed work, and doing all i can, its basically not good enough and that third party will stay in place for contact for the forseeable! - which i'm so not happy with. I'm doing everything possible but it seems its still not enough. And never have i ever said "no risk" or minimised/condoned my persons behaviour. Its really quite the opposite, but since ive began to understand more in which to led to this path, i feel i'm being punished for continuing the relationship.
Nothing is consistent with them, and i don't really know what to do!
It sounds like youve shared with SS that you'd like to supervise contact yourself
Have you raised this at the multi agency CIN review meeting?
What do other professionals think?
Have SS explained exactly why they think you are not suitable, in writing?
Has a risk assessment been done on your person tj show the level of risk he poses?
What do SS want to see before they close the case? What are the bail conditions/shpo conditions?
I'm sorry you're going through this. As a social worker myself it depresses me to hear of so many social workers who don't seem to be working with families to achieve the family's goals :(
Have you raised this at the multi agency CIN review meeting?
What do other professionals think?
Have SS explained exactly why they think you are not suitable, in writing?
Has a risk assessment been done on your person tj show the level of risk he poses?
What do SS want to see before they close the case? What are the bail conditions/shpo conditions?
I'm sorry you're going through this. As a social worker myself it depresses me to hear of so many social workers who don't seem to be working with families to achieve the family's goals :(
Inthemoment - yes, that was something that was mentioned from them right at the beginning too. That i needed to do some work, get confirmation i attended from LFF and i also spent 2 hours in their office going through the course, explaining my knowledge and how i can put that into our situation moving forward to safeguard my children. It has been raised as a completed action point on the plan too, and no it was just verbally mentioned. Other professionals have all stated they have no concerns with my safeguarding, parenting and have all spoken with my children too.
A risk assessment was done of some sort but it was very early on, and it doesn't actually state what level of risk he is. Which has been my argument all along because lots in there is completely irrelevant. SS have actually stated they felt they did it too soon, and it was based on an hour spent with my partner. - Hes doing all he can, Therapy, courses, speaking very openly with professionals, showing remorse and it still isn't enough. We've had professionals who have wrote letters stating they don't see him as a risk and they've been completely disregarded. Can we demand another assessment to be done?
Do they normally do assessments on partners too, as i haven't had anything either?
A risk assessment was done of some sort but it was very early on, and it doesn't actually state what level of risk he is. Which has been my argument all along because lots in there is completely irrelevant. SS have actually stated they felt they did it too soon, and it was based on an hour spent with my partner. - Hes doing all he can, Therapy, courses, speaking very openly with professionals, showing remorse and it still isn't enough. We've had professionals who have wrote letters stating they don't see him as a risk and they've been completely disregarded. Can we demand another assessment to be done?
Do they normally do assessments on partners too, as i haven't had anything either?
Lee - Thank you for your advice. It is circles who i have contacted and start asap. They sent a letter to SS stating me contacting and the course details and again, not interested?! I wish they were taking these things into account.
I feel that we really need to start pushing back!
I feel that we really need to start pushing back!
Hi A, SS we're trying to keep us in the loop of having a 3rd person there. After speaking to the head teacher who believed I was protective enough to supervise and was actually annoyed I wasn't being listened too, I actually said in the CIN meeting that I will be supervising going forward, I didn't prewarn the social worker, I just put her on the spot. I wrote down what I was going to say. I listed out to all of the professionals everything I had done to understand and then in turn be able to safeguard my children without a third party and then how it impacted the children (limited time with there dad as the third party needed to be available) then simply said I will be supervising going forward. You've said the professionals agree that you are protective so you have them on side but even if you didn't have them agreeing with you, you can still challenge them. After I said this nothing happened and I then supervised going forward, they could stop me. A child in need plan isnt a have to situation it's a this is what SS want, please do it. Respectfully stand up to them. Say that you've been happy to follow their wishes but you can't continue when it's having a negative impact on the children and when you know how to supervise contact and wouldn't consider leaving the children unattended. You've got this! I bet you are already stronger than you ever thought you could be. x
Hi! - Thanks so much for reaching out. I havent been on here in months. If im honest from last october, things have got drastically worse.. In Jan we were moved to CPP for no reason what so ever, moved social workers, then pretty much went straight to PLO?! which is what were now in. I have done multiple courses, including just finished a teaching safeguarding course (should i choose to go and work in a school) and we are being ignored and pushed. I cannot hear "potential care proceedings" one more time! - I've done all of the LA have asked, and far more yet im still in this situation. My partner recieved NFA, but that has been disregarded too. Feel like 18 months down the line and its getting worse :(
Hi A.,
I didn't actually realise how old your post was! I'm gutted for you that it's gotten worse! I can't understand how it has escalated so much!! Especially as you've done all the course and things asked and your husband got a NFA. What was he arrested for? but either way he wasn't charged! Does it say in your CPP what they want you to do? What it is that you are doing wrong (in their eyes) ? xx
I didn't actually realise how old your post was! I'm gutted for you that it's gotten worse! I can't understand how it has escalated so much!! Especially as you've done all the course and things asked and your husband got a NFA. What was he arrested for? but either way he wasn't charged! Does it say in your CPP what they want you to do? What it is that you are doing wrong (in their eyes) ? xx
A.
You aren't alone, we have also been thrown into PLO, without a further wrongdoing or any breach in agreement many months following the knock, then with a birth of new baby, they issued proceedings. The local authority attempted to take my children into care despite the father not living with me and having contact professionally supervised. And we are now having to follow protocol and process in the court arena after landing with interim supervision order. In my opinion the local authority could never make a decision to allow us to be a family in any shape given the nature of the concerns, and they bullied me relentlessly but I refused to file for divorce therefore they want the court to take that responsibility if we are to reunite. I hope PLO steps down for you without proceedings. The process is both humiliating and stressful. I feel that I have aged many years this year alone.
You aren't alone, we have also been thrown into PLO, without a further wrongdoing or any breach in agreement many months following the knock, then with a birth of new baby, they issued proceedings. The local authority attempted to take my children into care despite the father not living with me and having contact professionally supervised. And we are now having to follow protocol and process in the court arena after landing with interim supervision order. In my opinion the local authority could never make a decision to allow us to be a family in any shape given the nature of the concerns, and they bullied me relentlessly but I refused to file for divorce therefore they want the court to take that responsibility if we are to reunite. I hope PLO steps down for you without proceedings. The process is both humiliating and stressful. I feel that I have aged many years this year alone.
How are you now I'm in the same boat