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Where to start, I’ve been with my partner 5 and a half years married for 2 and a half years, in June he was arrested and said this was a mistake, over the weekend he has sat me down and opened up about the arrest and the reasons why he was watching online(due to things in his childhood) I’m staying with him. But I have so many feelings inside. Hurt,pain,anger, love but I also feel numb like I’m watching a tv show but can’t find the remote to stop it. I’ve found there are not really any places for partners to go and speak to some. I can’t speak to friends and family. Does anyone know where/how or what can I do to help him and us through this
Hi Tom,
I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through.
I'm also new to this although our circumstances are very different I don't really know how to cope.
I've been with my partner for a year and found out about his offence about a month into seeing him. I decided I still wanted to be with him, I'm sure people think I'm mad but I love him.
The Lucy faithful foundation is brilliant, I've found lots of helpful resources including this forum where I can talk to people going through similar things, I don't feel so alone anymore.
I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through.
I'm also new to this although our circumstances are very different I don't really know how to cope.
I've been with my partner for a year and found out about his offence about a month into seeing him. I decided I still wanted to be with him, I'm sure people think I'm mad but I love him.
The Lucy faithful foundation is brilliant, I've found lots of helpful resources including this forum where I can talk to people going through similar things, I don't feel so alone anymore.
Hi Tom
It's really rubbish, confusing, shocking, baffling and lonely. You're right, you have to be careful about who does and doesn't have to know.
Definitely use the helpline, it's amazing, also if you scroll through and see the one about support, some of us are using Mumsnet which had just been amazing to connect in that way.
Just try taking it a day at a time and please make sure you're looking after yourself
Xx
It's really rubbish, confusing, shocking, baffling and lonely. You're right, you have to be careful about who does and doesn't have to know.
Definitely use the helpline, it's amazing, also if you scroll through and see the one about support, some of us are using Mumsnet which had just been amazing to connect in that way.
Just try taking it a day at a time and please make sure you're looking after yourself
Xx
Thank you everyone, I’m trying my best to look after my self. I’m stressed anxiety is kicking in here there and anywhere. Found my self crying in the fridge. How long does this take? We have an appointment to go to the doctors to see if there is any help.
Hi Tom
As to how long does it take, well, how long is a piece of string!
In terms of the police and what they're doing some people are done and dusted in a few months while others are starting nearly on their 2nd year and no further forward! In my case from day of the Knock, 10 April 2018 and he was sentenced on the 22nd March 2019
As for your feelings, I think that takes longer, I'm through the shock and confusion of the first few weeks but in no way have I come to terms with it. I haven't/can't move on which is hard but this is an amazing group who will give you strength so please keep using it xx
As to how long does it take, well, how long is a piece of string!
In terms of the police and what they're doing some people are done and dusted in a few months while others are starting nearly on their 2nd year and no further forward! In my case from day of the Knock, 10 April 2018 and he was sentenced on the 22nd March 2019
As for your feelings, I think that takes longer, I'm through the shock and confusion of the first few weeks but in no way have I come to terms with it. I haven't/can't move on which is hard but this is an amazing group who will give you strength so please keep using it xx
Well it’s been a week since the bombshell rocked everything I thought I knew. I figured out that my anxiety is going crazy, see friends and family even coming to work is setting it off. I’ve learnt my fake face and not hold my feelings inside. Just when I think I’m having a “good day” my mind tells me there’s more to come
What you are going through is horrendous and when you think there is a bit of relief coming, it turns upside down again. Are you taking anything for your anxiety? Have you thought about support for yourself? (Talking therapy). Just remember it's not all about him. Now is the time to focus on you xx
Hi Tom,
I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. I'm almost at the end of this hellish journey and saying that it will get better won't help right now although it is true. I now suffer with anxiety as a result of my husband s actions but I'm now on medication which levels my head a bit. Counselling also helped. I still remember the first weeks afterwards feeling as though I was in a bubble and everyone staring at me judging me for supporting the person I love. One of the good things that came out is that my husband and I are open about everything now. My husband is still struggling with his mental health which isn't helped by there being no support to get another job. I was able to tell my oldest friend who has been amazing, coming on visits and listening when I'm scared or lonely. You need someone other than your partner to go to for strength when you're exhausted. This forum is fantastic and you will always find a supportive reply on here.
I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. I'm almost at the end of this hellish journey and saying that it will get better won't help right now although it is true. I now suffer with anxiety as a result of my husband s actions but I'm now on medication which levels my head a bit. Counselling also helped. I still remember the first weeks afterwards feeling as though I was in a bubble and everyone staring at me judging me for supporting the person I love. One of the good things that came out is that my husband and I are open about everything now. My husband is still struggling with his mental health which isn't helped by there being no support to get another job. I was able to tell my oldest friend who has been amazing, coming on visits and listening when I'm scared or lonely. You need someone other than your partner to go to for strength when you're exhausted. This forum is fantastic and you will always find a supportive reply on here.