Friends starting to find out
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So this morning I've woken up to a message from a friend saying that as I am standing by my OH she no longer wants to be friends with me, now I can completely understand why she feels this way, what I don't understand is who told her. All I can think is that my OH's ex or son (who turned up at the court on Wednesday unannounced) have messaged her after seeing me with him, I know I'm going to lose a few people because of this but to think someone is actively targeting my friends is a hard one to swallow.
Can you not ask her who told her? Was there any mention in court that you are staying with him? If not it could be she's just presuming you are and was testing the water. We can't force people to understand why we stand by them and if they won't even listen to your reason why then you are better off stopping contact with them. This journey is stressful enough without "friends" not supporting you x
Friends reactions vary - some nothing but nosey, some decide to abandon you, some reach out to support you, some come out from your past offering their support. All of these scenarios have happened to me.
Try not to let it worry you (I appreciate could be easier said than done) - all I can advise is to go with your heart - don't be swayed by others - do what gives you peace. Yes, you could make mistakes but it's your life to live not theirs.
Personally I'm way down the line on this journey and so many things just go over the top of my head these days. I do respect people's opinions but for me - I just concentrate on my bigger issues and bye bye all the other stuff.
Try not to let it worry you (I appreciate could be easier said than done) - all I can advise is to go with your heart - don't be swayed by others - do what gives you peace. Yes, you could make mistakes but it's your life to live not theirs.
Personally I'm way down the line on this journey and so many things just go over the top of my head these days. I do respect people's opinions but for me - I just concentrate on my bigger issues and bye bye all the other stuff.
thank you, sorry I've not replied to these comments untill now. We are both sure it was his Ex wife who told her as when she turned up in court I noticed her taking notes, This morning I've had another friend come out and say she needs to talk but cant as she is unsure she can controll her emotions, I'm fairly sure its about the same thing as we all used to be in a very close knit group.
I love my OH with all of my heart and will stand by him, I'm just upeset that so called friends arent even wanting to hear what actully happened and are just thinking the worst becasue of what others are telling them, we have a new court date for next month for them to re issue the correct charges and I just know his Ex is going to turn up again.
I love my OH with all of my heart and will stand by him, I'm just upeset that so called friends arent even wanting to hear what actully happened and are just thinking the worst becasue of what others are telling them, we have a new court date for next month for them to re issue the correct charges and I just know his Ex is going to turn up again.
Hi, I lost all my friends when they found out including my best friend. Different to you, I didn't understand. I "supported" my ex by visiting him. I did so for my young children's sakes. If she couldn't understand that then so be it. I asked her what she'd do if her husband was arrested for the same thing. She said she'd never speak to him again. I think that said more about their marriage than mine. Also people react out of fear. I had another friend who simply wouldn't believe that I didn't know what my ex was doing. I did not. Again, I think she had trust issues within her relationship and couldn't contemplate that people can do such things in complete secrecy. They can and do, unfortunately. I'm sorry your friend has found out and isn't supporting you as they should be, in my opinion. X