I'm with you
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Hello everyone,
I accidentally found the forum last week and wasn't going to create an account or post, as I am no longer in a very bad place regarding what happened in my family, so I didn't want to take anyone's time or energy.
But seeing all these amazing women, suffering so badly and fighting to keep going, I wanted to show my e-face to offer solidarity and support. I feel so lucky that my story is so much less raw and agonising than other people's.
My dad was convicted of CSAM offences, and I had no idea until a friend saw his picture in a tabloid. I'm not very close to my dad and was well into adulthood when he was convicted.
He kept breaking his restrictions and I ran interference on that, liaising with his offender manager, and the detective who ran the investigation, and with social media companies.
I cut off contact with him, but recently decided to re-establish it, He's still my dad, the only dad I'll ever have, he went out to work so that I'd have food and clothes and a home.
He's very likeable apart from the whole sex offending thing. That's a concept that most people at large won't understand, and most people on this forum will understand perfectly.
It's an honour to be among you as you navigate your horrific journey, and I hope I can be of help.
I accidentally found the forum last week and wasn't going to create an account or post, as I am no longer in a very bad place regarding what happened in my family, so I didn't want to take anyone's time or energy.
But seeing all these amazing women, suffering so badly and fighting to keep going, I wanted to show my e-face to offer solidarity and support. I feel so lucky that my story is so much less raw and agonising than other people's.
My dad was convicted of CSAM offences, and I had no idea until a friend saw his picture in a tabloid. I'm not very close to my dad and was well into adulthood when he was convicted.
He kept breaking his restrictions and I ran interference on that, liaising with his offender manager, and the detective who ran the investigation, and with social media companies.
I cut off contact with him, but recently decided to re-establish it, He's still my dad, the only dad I'll ever have, he went out to work so that I'd have food and clothes and a home.
He's very likeable apart from the whole sex offending thing. That's a concept that most people at large won't understand, and most people on this forum will understand perfectly.
It's an honour to be among you as you navigate your horrific journey, and I hope I can be of help.
You sound like a wonderful daughter. If only everyone were as understanding x
You are one special daughter. I think it's amazing you found it within your heart to realise your dad is more than just his actions - I hope that one day my own family members might feel this way towards my son.
Thank you JenJo and Smile through tears, that's very kind of you.
It took me a decade to get to the point where I am now, and I have to keep secret from some key family members that I'm in contact with my dad.
One key factor in getting me back in contact was contemplating that one day he will be dead. What would I end up regretting more - having talked to him, or having cut him off?
The biggest thing was learning to accept that whatever he did, he is a human being, just like we are all. It's just like Smile through tears said - a man is more than his actions.
I really hope your family will realise this about your son, Smile through tears. It may take a few years, but if they're good people then eventually they'll see it.
It took me a decade to get to the point where I am now, and I have to keep secret from some key family members that I'm in contact with my dad.
One key factor in getting me back in contact was contemplating that one day he will be dead. What would I end up regretting more - having talked to him, or having cut him off?
The biggest thing was learning to accept that whatever he did, he is a human being, just like we are all. It's just like Smile through tears said - a man is more than his actions.
I really hope your family will realise this about your son, Smile through tears. It may take a few years, but if they're good people then eventually they'll see it.
Apologies to the moderators for all the posts I've submitted, then deleted and resubmitted. I'm a proofreader, so when I spot an error I've missed, I have to delete it and go again.
Otherwise I get thrown out of proofreader club.
Otherwise I get thrown out of proofreader club.