New neighborhood, need advice please
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hi
so we have moved to a new city, and got a new neighborhood. I have a daugther who is 4 years old, she has gotten new friends here, her first friends who is not from kindergarten. I am so so happy for her. We live in Norway, we dont have the same restrictions from the ss or police. We all live together still with my oh and our 2 daugthers. I am grateful for the opertunity that we now got to live a "new normal" life. Its just that when my daugthers new friends ring on the dorbell and wants to visit, i feel as such a criminal for letting them in??? I want my daugther to have the best life she could have, and a normal life. I say yes to her friends and letting them in. I have 0 concern for anything happening to them at our house. It is more that if the new neighbors hears a rumor of my oh, and then knowing i let their kids visit my kid.. I dont want to imagine what their respond will be, to me as a person also. People react very differently to this, is my experience.. Can anyone please please give me some advice on this? What would you have done?? And please stay kind when answering. I am at a state now where i cant deal very vell with constent mean Words etc..
Thank god for this forum.
I hope everyone of u is okey, and are taking one day at a time..
so we have moved to a new city, and got a new neighborhood. I have a daugther who is 4 years old, she has gotten new friends here, her first friends who is not from kindergarten. I am so so happy for her. We live in Norway, we dont have the same restrictions from the ss or police. We all live together still with my oh and our 2 daugthers. I am grateful for the opertunity that we now got to live a "new normal" life. Its just that when my daugthers new friends ring on the dorbell and wants to visit, i feel as such a criminal for letting them in??? I want my daugther to have the best life she could have, and a normal life. I say yes to her friends and letting them in. I have 0 concern for anything happening to them at our house. It is more that if the new neighbors hears a rumor of my oh, and then knowing i let their kids visit my kid.. I dont want to imagine what their respond will be, to me as a person also. People react very differently to this, is my experience.. Can anyone please please give me some advice on this? What would you have done?? And please stay kind when answering. I am at a state now where i cant deal very vell with constent mean Words etc..
Thank god for this forum.
I hope everyone of u is okey, and are taking one day at a time..
Hi,
I'm pleased that you have made a fresh start and that your daughter has made friends.
I'm not familiar with the process in Norway, if he has no restrictions then does that mean he wasn't charged?
What would be alternatives for your daughter spending time with friends? Would that mean finding indoor activities to take them to or your daughter going to her friends houses?
I presume at 4 that you supervise them when at your house? It might be worth talking to your daughter and partner and let them know that friends can't come in when you're not there.
I'm not at that stage with my youngest but my older children used to have friends over all the time and after my person was in the media I had some parents reach out and say that they know their children would always be safe with me which was appreciated. I'm not sure how they would respond if I was still with him at the time but I'm probably going to go down the play date route with my youngest and have her friends moms over too or take them out.
Perhaps a home security system with cameras in communal rooms and making sure that the children stay in those areas so if anyone did say that you've acted in a way that they don't feel safeguarded their child you have footage to show that they're accounted for the whole time they are in your home.
I try to put myself in the mindset I had before the knock and what would have been my reaction if my children were unknowingly around someone convicted of these crimes. For me it completely depends on my relationship with the mother and whether or not I trust her to keep them safe.
I hope that you and your children are able to enjoy your fresh start and that you are able to let go of your fear of people finding out xxx
I'm pleased that you have made a fresh start and that your daughter has made friends.
I'm not familiar with the process in Norway, if he has no restrictions then does that mean he wasn't charged?
What would be alternatives for your daughter spending time with friends? Would that mean finding indoor activities to take them to or your daughter going to her friends houses?
I presume at 4 that you supervise them when at your house? It might be worth talking to your daughter and partner and let them know that friends can't come in when you're not there.
I'm not at that stage with my youngest but my older children used to have friends over all the time and after my person was in the media I had some parents reach out and say that they know their children would always be safe with me which was appreciated. I'm not sure how they would respond if I was still with him at the time but I'm probably going to go down the play date route with my youngest and have her friends moms over too or take them out.
Perhaps a home security system with cameras in communal rooms and making sure that the children stay in those areas so if anyone did say that you've acted in a way that they don't feel safeguarded their child you have footage to show that they're accounted for the whole time they are in your home.
I try to put myself in the mindset I had before the knock and what would have been my reaction if my children were unknowingly around someone convicted of these crimes. For me it completely depends on my relationship with the mother and whether or not I trust her to keep them safe.
I hope that you and your children are able to enjoy your fresh start and that you are able to let go of your fear of people finding out xxx
Hi
I really understand how you feel. One of the saddest things for me has been thinking about my son having friends over and the restrictions I have to put in place. I live in the UK and OH can't live with us but he comes over most days as he works remotely. While he has to be supervised with under 18s per his bail conditions, he could technically be home when my son's friends visit. I don't believe he is a risk to children but in order to protect my son and OH, OH can't be in the house. I don't allow OH in the car when I'm driving my son and his friends about. If his (alleged) online offences becomes known, then it's clear that he wasn't around when my son's friends were visiting.
I really understand how you feel. One of the saddest things for me has been thinking about my son having friends over and the restrictions I have to put in place. I live in the UK and OH can't live with us but he comes over most days as he works remotely. While he has to be supervised with under 18s per his bail conditions, he could technically be home when my son's friends visit. I don't believe he is a risk to children but in order to protect my son and OH, OH can't be in the house. I don't allow OH in the car when I'm driving my son and his friends about. If his (alleged) online offences becomes known, then it's clear that he wasn't around when my son's friends were visiting.