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Sitting outside courtroom waiting

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Flo13

Member since
July 2023

25 posts

I'm currently sitting outside the courtroom waiting to be called in for the plea hearing...

I'm so scared of going in, his advocate called me last night and said his charges aren't too hectic and there were no images found, it seems the only evidence they have is of talking to a decoy which was an adult

which is good news, well as good as it can get right now

Has this happened to anyone else?

I didn't sleep much last night, managed to sleep from 2-4 and then from 6-8 so at least 4 hours

any advice or how to calm my nerves would be so appreciated

I've had two panic attacks last night and this morning, it's hard to breath
thank you so so much to everyone who has been so supportive and the lovely replies last night

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 9:57am
Edited Thu October 19, 2023 10:09amReport post

Caggie164

Member since
October 2023

323 posts

Just remember we are here thinking about you and sending you strength and hugs. Positive thoughts. Deep breathing. You are amazing and so strong to be sat there right now xx

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 10:13amReport post

Flo13

Member since
July 2023

25 posts

Hi Caggie164, thank you so much for your reply, thank you. I really appreciate it, feeling very alone and scared right now.

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 10:21amReport post

Caggie164

Member since
October 2023

323 posts

I can only imagine. Just know your only on your own in person but we are all with you in thought xx

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 10:29amReport post

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2711 posts

I'm with you x be brave - hug sent x

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 11:17amReport post

Life feels over

Member since
September 2022

412 posts

You are absolutely not alone. You are showing your strength by sitting right where you are. Whatever the outcome today remember we are here. You will get through this xx

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 11:22amReport post

Flo13

Member since
July 2023

25 posts

Still waiting to be called into the court room,

I'm still so scared.
his advocate came & spoke to me, he said they may want to remand him in prision until Tuesday instead of giving him bail today

they've asked me if I can be insurance on him so they can try get him released

I've said yes & he needs to surrender his passports because apparently he's a flight risk

It's all a bit much right now

I just feel a bit panicked

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 11:52amReport post

Caggie164

Member since
October 2023

323 posts

Thinking about you x

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 12:03pmReport post

hpl111

Member since
November 2022

409 posts

I am so sorry, Flo13. This must be incredibly hard - stay strong xx

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 12:08pmReport post

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2481 posts

Thinking of you xx

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 12:32pmReport post

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

1171 posts

Thinking of you Flo xxx

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 1:13pmReport post

Webb89

Member since
July 2022

516 posts

Big hugs to you. We are all here for you. X

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 1:24pmReport post

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Big hugs honey , I remember the feeling well xx

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 1:41pmReport post

Mandymoo

Member since
September 2021

299 posts

You've got us all thinking of you today. You're nearly there now and you'll be on your way home soon. Think of it has just another step done and out of the wayxx

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 1:46pmReport post

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

925 posts

I remember that feeling only too well. As everyone else has said, we are all here to support you. You're nearly over this first hurdle so stay strong and remember to breath nice deep breaths. Thinking of you.

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 2:13pmReport post

Flo13

Member since
July 2023

25 posts

Thank you truly so much to every single person, I really appreciate the support. So thank you so so much. It means so much more than you'll ever know, so thank you.



update: my OH was released on bail, thankfully. And we are now home. Of course with restrictions, but nothing other than the usual.
He was charged with 3 charges of gross indecency.

the evidence the prosecution has is with a decoy which is what they initially arrested him with, the decoy is an adult so no minors were involved which is good I presume.
that's the only evidence they have

he didn't plea today, he will plea in a couple of weeks time.



has anyone had any charges dealing with a decoy?
feeling a little better but not a whole bunch. Just trying to understand it all.
they read out the transcript of the conversation between my OH and the decoy, it was a bit intense and I didn't expect that as the advocate said they wouldn't read it out today. Have the evening off work so will be able to deal with it I guess.

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 3:58pmReport post

Sleepless_Worried

Member since
December 2024

13 posts

Hi Flo



I was just wondering how this ended up?

Posted Thu January 2, 2025 4:10pmReport post

LosingIt

Member since
September 2024

215 posts

I assume Flo meant charged with "attempted communication with a child"? I don't think "gross indecency" is on the statute books anymore. And it was usually used to crminialise gay sex...

Posted Thu January 2, 2025 10:27pmReport post

Runawaygirl

Member since
March 2023

106 posts

I think gross indecency is still a "thing" as I happened to be looking into this just the other day. It's a common law offence from what I can deduce but I did get a bit bogged down trying to unravel it. I wonder if the the Forum Team could shed some light ... if you're reading this please!

Posted Fri January 3, 2025 1:42pmReport post

Sleepless_Worried

Member since
December 2024

13 posts

I'm not sure how it would come under 'attempting to communicate with a minor' he didn't speak to the child (who doesn't exist). He spoke to the decoy who was pretending to be the 'mother'. Honestly the terminology and stuff is so confusing and always makes me think the worst.

Posted Fri January 3, 2025 4:53pmReport post

LosingIt

Member since
September 2024

215 posts

Ah ok. In that case they usually try and charge with "attempting to incite" or "facilitating abuse of" if the mother was pretending to offer up a fictitious child or something like that. The fact they've gone with gross indecency sounds like they've found it difficult to make any of the offences on the sexual offences act 2003 fit your case. It'll all depend on the content of the chat.

Posted Fri January 3, 2025 6:33pmReport post

Quick exit