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Sitting outside courtroom waiting

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Flo13

Member since
July 2023

25 posts

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 9:57amReport post

I'm currently sitting outside the courtroom waiting to be called in for the plea hearing...

I'm so scared of going in, his advocate called me last night and said his charges aren't too hectic and there were no images found, it seems the only evidence they have is of talking to a decoy which was an adult

which is good news, well as good as it can get right now

Has this happened to anyone else?

I didn't sleep much last night, managed to sleep from 2-4 and then from 6-8 so at least 4 hours

any advice or how to calm my nerves would be so appreciated

I've had two panic attacks last night and this morning, it's hard to breath
thank you so so much to everyone who has been so supportive and the lovely replies last night

Edited Thu October 19, 2023 10:09am

Caggie164

Member since
October 2023

278 posts

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 10:13amReport post

Just remember we are here thinking about you and sending you strength and hugs. Positive thoughts. Deep breathing. You are amazing and so strong to be sat there right now xx

Flo13

Member since
July 2023

25 posts

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 10:21amReport post

Hi Caggie164, thank you so much for your reply, thank you. I really appreciate it, feeling very alone and scared right now.

Caggie164

Member since
October 2023

278 posts

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 10:29amReport post

I can only imagine. Just know your only on your own in person but we are all with you in thought xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2625 posts

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 11:17amReport post

I'm with you x be brave - hug sent x

Life feels over

Member since
September 2022

412 posts

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 11:22amReport post

You are absolutely not alone. You are showing your strength by sitting right where you are. Whatever the outcome today remember we are here. You will get through this xx

Flo13

Member since
July 2023

25 posts

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 11:52amReport post

Still waiting to be called into the court room,

I'm still so scared.
his advocate came & spoke to me, he said they may want to remand him in prision until Tuesday instead of giving him bail today

they've asked me if I can be insurance on him so they can try get him released

I've said yes & he needs to surrender his passports because apparently he's a flight risk

It's all a bit much right now

I just feel a bit panicked

Caggie164

Member since
October 2023

278 posts

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 12:03pmReport post

Thinking about you x

hpl111

Member since
November 2022

408 posts

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 12:08pmReport post

I am so sorry, Flo13. This must be incredibly hard - stay strong xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2446 posts

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 12:32pmReport post

Thinking of you xx

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

1054 posts

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 1:13pmReport post

Thinking of you Flo xxx

Webb89

Member since
July 2022

463 posts

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 1:24pmReport post

Big hugs to you. We are all here for you. X

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 1:41pmReport post

Big hugs honey , I remember the feeling well xx

Mandymoo

Member since
September 2021

299 posts

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 1:46pmReport post

You've got us all thinking of you today. You're nearly there now and you'll be on your way home soon. Think of it has just another step done and out of the wayxx

Ocean

Member since
September 2023

820 posts

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 2:13pmReport post

I remember that feeling only too well. As everyone else has said, we are all here to support you. You're nearly over this first hurdle so stay strong and remember to breath nice deep breaths. Thinking of you.

Flo13

Member since
July 2023

25 posts

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 3:58pmReport post

Thank you truly so much to every single person, I really appreciate the support. So thank you so so much. It means so much more than you'll ever know, so thank you.



update: my OH was released on bail, thankfully. And we are now home. Of course with restrictions, but nothing other than the usual.
He was charged with 3 charges of gross indecency.

the evidence the prosecution has is with a decoy which is what they initially arrested him with, the decoy is an adult so no minors were involved which is good I presume.
that's the only evidence they have

he didn't plea today, he will plea in a couple of weeks time.



has anyone had any charges dealing with a decoy?
feeling a little better but not a whole bunch. Just trying to understand it all.
they read out the transcript of the conversation between my OH and the decoy, it was a bit intense and I didn't expect that as the advocate said they wouldn't read it out today. Have the evening off work so will be able to deal with it I guess.

Sleepless_Worried

Member since
December 2024

9 posts

Posted Thu January 2, 2025 4:10pmReport post

Hi Flo



I was just wondering how this ended up?

LosingIt

Member since
September 2024

185 posts

Posted Thu January 2, 2025 10:27pmReport post

I assume Flo meant charged with "attempted communication with a child"? I don't think "gross indecency" is on the statute books anymore. And it was usually used to crminialise gay sex...

Runawaygirl

Member since
March 2023

99 posts

Posted Fri January 3, 2025 1:42pmReport post

I think gross indecency is still a "thing" as I happened to be looking into this just the other day. It's a common law offence from what I can deduce but I did get a bit bogged down trying to unravel it. I wonder if the the Forum Team could shed some light ... if you're reading this please!

Sleepless_Worried

Member since
December 2024

9 posts

Posted Fri January 3, 2025 4:53pmReport post

I'm not sure how it would come under 'attempting to communicate with a minor' he didn't speak to the child (who doesn't exist). He spoke to the decoy who was pretending to be the 'mother'. Honestly the terminology and stuff is so confusing and always makes me think the worst.

LosingIt

Member since
September 2024

185 posts

Posted Fri January 3, 2025 6:33pmReport post

Ah ok. In that case they usually try and charge with "attempting to incite" or "facilitating abuse of" if the mother was pretending to offer up a fictitious child or something like that. The fact they've gone with gross indecency sounds like they've found it difficult to make any of the offences on the sexual offences act 2003 fit your case. It'll all depend on the content of the chat.