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It's been a while...... Long post

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Confused&worried

Member since
June 2022

326 posts

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 1:57pmReport post

Hi all you lovely ladies,

It's been a while since I even logged onto the forum, let alone posted. I had thought that we were finally getting to the end and that we could start moving on with the new normal.

So, arrest in Jun 22, kids on CPP and OH out of the house. Conviction Dec 22, sentence Jan 23. 10 IIOC, 6 months suspended for 2 years, 7 years SOR & SHPO - internet based only.

We put were on PLO because I would not allow unannounced visits, disclosure to the children or for the SW to speak to the children with out me. I stand by these decisions as my son has ASD so has additional needs. I had to give in and allow these things as SS threatened me with care proceedings.

LFF have done a risk assessment which came out good, no problems with my protective abilities, a recomendation of some direct work with OH and family therapy, which we have agreed to.

Now the sh!t bit. My SW's 2 mangers above her are new, only starting in the summer so new to our case, and they both have massive issues with it. From what I can tell, they do not understand why I have not divorced my OH and am contemplating a future as a family. We have done everything they have asked, and more. We are engaging with all services, my OH has a great relationship with his VISOR and probabtion officer. The kids are doing amazingly, all things considered. At the last core group meeting, the teacher even made a point of saying how well we had both done and that the kids appear completely uneffected by everything. Yet still, I'm being threatened with care proceedings again. I'm not sure on what grounds they can because my OH is still out of the house, even though techniqually there is nothing legally stopping him coming home. Until SS have signed it off he will remain out. Apparently, one of the manager said in a meeting "How protective can she be if she hasn't divorced him?!"

They continually delay things, we should have had our last PLO meeting 2 weeks ago, it didn't happen but we don't have a new date. The risk assessment was 2 weeks late because the LA didn't raise a purchase order even though they had 3 months notice.

I am just so frustrated, infuriated, worn out, angry, tired, emotional and have a banging headache.

If it wasn't for the fact that I would be gambling with my children, I would call their bluff and let them take me to court. But I WILL NOT do anything to risk my childrens wellbeing. If they push me to chose between my kids and my OH my children would win everytime.

Thanks for reading and always being here when I need you x

Rainbowbright

Member since
October 2023

24 posts

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 2:57pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Fri October 27, 2023 4:45pm

Life feels over

Member since
September 2022

412 posts

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 4:43pmReport post

I have no experience dealing with SS but comments such as these clearly show a lack of professionalism and an inability to assess a situation without personal bias. My blood is simmering on your behalf x

Cherry

Member since
January 2023

107 posts

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 5:39pmReport post

I would make a complaint and quote exactly what that managers said word for word that they shouldn't be bringing their personal opinions into your families situation and then remind them of your outcome of the LFF assessment that it is an insult to the Lucy faithful practitioner who's trained in assessing your protective capacity. why would they fund it if they aren't taking the outcome of that seriously.

Dragonmama

Member since
November 2022

251 posts

Posted Thu October 19, 2023 6:09pmReport post

I'm sorry that you too are going through the ringer with ss (myself included) one thing that I do 100% know is that they are not allowed to interfere with the relationship of two consenting adults, this includes suggesting divorce. Or saying things like what yours have said. I hope you have that in writing because if they did decide to try take you to court it would go against them. They did the same to me and I had ago.



also I would like to add that ss do like to threaten but a) they have no actual powers b) the work you have done would go against them c) threats constitutes as abuse (just remember that) d) courts don't always side with ss xx