Early Days
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I am 2 weeks into this nightmare. My husband was arrested and when released he tried to commit suicide and I had to get the police out to search the river, they found him alive. He then ended up in a mental health hospital for a week. He's now living with his parents 100 miles away and has had a full breakdown. The police are sure it was all online fantasy but I still can't believe the man I love and this person are the same.
I don't know what to do. He's lied to me for 15 years and I can never trust him again but I still love him and know the man I love is still there, I just never knew this other side existed. I wish it could all go back to the way it was. I know that if I took him back I would lose friends and my family would not forgive me.
SS have not contacted me since the day it all came out. I hate that they are now watching me when I've done nothing wrong. I'm worried about what I'm allowed to do as I don't want to get in trouble. My husband has had no contact with my kids and I feel that he should a least be able to phone them. Do they ever leave you alone again?
I hate that I have gone from working as a team in a happy marriage to a lone parent with the prospect of not being able to afford my house and holidays ever again - within a few hours. All this through no fault of my own.
I don't know what to do. He's lied to me for 15 years and I can never trust him again but I still love him and know the man I love is still there, I just never knew this other side existed. I wish it could all go back to the way it was. I know that if I took him back I would lose friends and my family would not forgive me.
SS have not contacted me since the day it all came out. I hate that they are now watching me when I've done nothing wrong. I'm worried about what I'm allowed to do as I don't want to get in trouble. My husband has had no contact with my kids and I feel that he should a least be able to phone them. Do they ever leave you alone again?
I hate that I have gone from working as a team in a happy marriage to a lone parent with the prospect of not being able to afford my house and holidays ever again - within a few hours. All this through no fault of my own.
The first few weeks can be the worst your still in shock I'm further along but still no charges I separated at the knock I'm waiting until after court to make a decision on our relationship it's not always black and white but for SS if you want contact they'll want to do an assessment even for a phone call but don't let it put you off as long as you make it clear your kids come first. I ended up on a child in need plan but it was voluntary we have 1 day a week on a weekend and 3 days a week during school holidays we aren't allowed video calls but phonecalls every night before my daughter goes to bed as she has disabilities and needs routine. our case is now closed but they will reassess after charges or if we reconcile. Have you spoken to him yet ? I didn't speak to mine until 2 weeks after, the first week I couldn't leave the house I stopped eating so please look after yourself I'm doing much better now I have a therapist I've also done the LFF inform course witch has helped me understand a lot more witch I recommend at some point when your ready.
Thank you for your reply. I have spoken to him. He keeps telling me he's sorry and how much he loves me. I am trying to keep calm with him just to stop him from trying to commit suicide again.
Is he in therapy? Stopso have great therapists that are trained in this sort of thing but it's Private my ex has one and so do I as I was waiting over 6 weeks with the GP. circles south east offer loads of support witch is 30 free sessions of therapy for you and talking forward are an online support group for families like ourselves I haven't used either of these yet as I'm already in therapy but do plan on getting in contact with circles as they offer courses too I have more information but I can't pm you yet as your a new member but you can message me anytime once you have access.
I could have written this post myself 7 years ago. I and so many others on here know exactly how you're feeling, and how the absolute feeling of overwhelm and fear engulfs you. I'm not going to lie, the next few months will be really hard, but I promise you will get through them and you will surprise yourself with your strength. We're all here to support you. One day at a time. Don't make any rash decisions and be kind to yourself. You've done nothing wrong, and no one can judge you for any decisions you make from here on in until they've walked in your shoes. Don't make any decisions based on other peoples opinions, it's your life and you need to do what's best for you and your children.
Just a side note, I've been in your position and my life is good now. I'm happy, my children are thriving and my OH is happy and a much better person after everything we went through, and it was hell at the time. So please don't give up hope and don't despair. If you want to chat further please message me xx
Just a side note, I've been in your position and my life is good now. I'm happy, my children are thriving and my OH is happy and a much better person after everything we went through, and it was hell at the time. So please don't give up hope and don't despair. If you want to chat further please message me xx
Well said louise.
Agree with everything said in other replies I'm six weeks in. I'm back at work now and that's a good distraction. Good days and bad days and as hard as it is you have to try and think a day at a time. I've had the same thoughts about the future but its just so overwhelming that you really do have to try not to. Sending hugs x