Its hit the news media
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Hi everyone
My OH's case has hit the media...
we've already received a call from our letting agent that a neighbor is asking them to evict us, however luckily they have told them that we have a contract in place and they cannot do anything, they've had to log a phone call with the police in order to protect us from any targeted attacks...
but I'm excessively scared...
we have removed ourselves from Facebook/Instagram any socials for now in hopes no one makes the connection
I'm so scared my colleagues at work find out too... and friends
no one knows this is on going
Please help
My OH's case has hit the media...
we've already received a call from our letting agent that a neighbor is asking them to evict us, however luckily they have told them that we have a contract in place and they cannot do anything, they've had to log a phone call with the police in order to protect us from any targeted attacks...
but I'm excessively scared...
we have removed ourselves from Facebook/Instagram any socials for now in hopes no one makes the connection
I'm so scared my colleagues at work find out too... and friends
no one knows this is on going
Please help
You'll get through this Flo. You can ask the police to put a marker on your address so that they have to respond faster to any 999 calls received from your address.
Is this from his plea hearing? I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Deep breaths, you've got this. Take things a step at a time and try not to focus too far ahead. Worrying about who knows and who doesn't will drive yourself crazy. I work from a place now of everyone I know knows about it and I'm still me and haven't done anything wrong. Sending love and support xxx
Is this from his plea hearing? I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Deep breaths, you've got this. Take things a step at a time and try not to focus too far ahead. Worrying about who knows and who doesn't will drive yourself crazy. I work from a place now of everyone I know knows about it and I'm still me and haven't done anything wrong. Sending love and support xxx
Hello Flo13
I'm so sorry to hear this. The media ruin lives. The person who committed the crime and has been convinced will be dealt with appropriately, the media should not be allowed to give out their addresses where innocent family members still live, some of these are children! The fear, devastation and embarrassment this causes is unreal. We as family have enough to deal with what our loved ones have done which changes our lives, but the media make it a million times worse for us.
I still live in fear that someone will target us or our home. I'm always looking over my shoulder. My heart still races every time the Ring doorbell goes or someone pulls up on our front in a car who I don't recognise.
What I will say is we have been fine so far and we are over a year into my son's prison sentence now. Even though it was all over the media, no one has ever said a word to us or sent messages etc. I kept my social media open to see if anyone responded to me but no one has. In fact if anything people have just silently backed away from us. The neighbours still say hello and speak to us the same as they did before and anyone we've come into contact with have been ok with no mention of my son.
It's early days for you yet, just take one day at a time and I pray all be ok for you. It's such a harrowing time, I know exactly how you will be feeling right now but try to not overthink about the future and everything else. You will be stronger than you think and everything will work out in the end, that's what I keep telling myself anyway xx
I'm so sorry to hear this. The media ruin lives. The person who committed the crime and has been convinced will be dealt with appropriately, the media should not be allowed to give out their addresses where innocent family members still live, some of these are children! The fear, devastation and embarrassment this causes is unreal. We as family have enough to deal with what our loved ones have done which changes our lives, but the media make it a million times worse for us.
I still live in fear that someone will target us or our home. I'm always looking over my shoulder. My heart still races every time the Ring doorbell goes or someone pulls up on our front in a car who I don't recognise.
What I will say is we have been fine so far and we are over a year into my son's prison sentence now. Even though it was all over the media, no one has ever said a word to us or sent messages etc. I kept my social media open to see if anyone responded to me but no one has. In fact if anything people have just silently backed away from us. The neighbours still say hello and speak to us the same as they did before and anyone we've come into contact with have been ok with no mention of my son.
It's early days for you yet, just take one day at a time and I pray all be ok for you. It's such a harrowing time, I know exactly how you will be feeling right now but try to not overthink about the future and everything else. You will be stronger than you think and everything will work out in the end, that's what I keep telling myself anyway xx
Hello Flo13,
My OH's case was public from day one and I totally understand your fear, but apart from the odd idiot shouting something, we've had no trouble from anyone.
Hold your head high. You've done nothing wrong and we're all with you xx
My OH's case was public from day one and I totally understand your fear, but apart from the odd idiot shouting something, we've had no trouble from anyone.
Hold your head high. You've done nothing wrong and we're all with you xx
Hi Flo, I'm so sorry that you are having to face the media coverage. It's such a horrible place to be. My sons case hit the media both on line and in the local paper twice. We live in a small place so everyone who knows us now knows what he did (according to the media). I have contacted the paper several times and asked them to take the online report down as they refer to him as a 'p' and have sensationalised the whole story but I just keep hitting a brick wall.
What I will say though is that no one has said or done anything to hurt us. My son has been scared to leave the house but is slowly making progress on this. As a family we now have nothing to hide. The people who are still in our lives are there because they want to be and on the rare occasion they've come face to face with my son they have simply asked him how he's doing.
I know it feels so difficult right now but you will get through this.
What I will say though is that no one has said or done anything to hurt us. My son has been scared to leave the house but is slowly making progress on this. As a family we now have nothing to hide. The people who are still in our lives are there because they want to be and on the rare occasion they've come face to face with my son they have simply asked him how he's doing.
I know it feels so difficult right now but you will get through this.
Thank you so much to all of you, I really appreciate the support you are all providing me with.
Honestly it's giving me strength everyday.
I'm at a wits end at the moment, one of my & my OH's best friend cut us out of their lives when this all happened 3 months ago, my OH thought we could trust them, but they wanted nothing to do with us. After over 10 years of friendship...
we have respected their decision and choice, not once tried to contact them or anything..
last night they made a descision to screen shot the article on my OH and proceeded to send it to every single person that we know
luckily not family however all friends, professional work friends as well
I just don't understand why someone would want to hurt us like that, someone we knew & trusted for so long... I cannot even begin to imagine why would they do that, what do they have to gain out of it?
it just doesn't make any sense why they would do that, I was at work last night & I was receiving text messages left right & center asking if I'm okay etc
They had no right to spread things like that, we don't live near these people as we moved here together but there was a possibility that we were maybe going to move back, but now there's no chance of that either
as if we don't have enough going on, they have added this to our lives
Honestly it's giving me strength everyday.
I'm at a wits end at the moment, one of my & my OH's best friend cut us out of their lives when this all happened 3 months ago, my OH thought we could trust them, but they wanted nothing to do with us. After over 10 years of friendship...
we have respected their decision and choice, not once tried to contact them or anything..
last night they made a descision to screen shot the article on my OH and proceeded to send it to every single person that we know
luckily not family however all friends, professional work friends as well
I just don't understand why someone would want to hurt us like that, someone we knew & trusted for so long... I cannot even begin to imagine why would they do that, what do they have to gain out of it?
it just doesn't make any sense why they would do that, I was at work last night & I was receiving text messages left right & center asking if I'm okay etc
They had no right to spread things like that, we don't live near these people as we moved here together but there was a possibility that we were maybe going to move back, but now there's no chance of that either
as if we don't have enough going on, they have added this to our lives
No advice but just wanted to say I'm absolutely disgusted that someone would do this to you. You have done nothing wrong. What exactly did they want to achieve by doing this? Just remember we are all here for you and care about you xx
Oh Flo, I am so sorry to know that you are going through all of this. What you OH's friend has done is so mean and unnecessary. My person also lost his best friend but at least his friend backed out of his life quietly.
I have no idea why your OH's friend would want to do what he has done or to even think that it was acceptable to do this. What it does make me think is that he was never a true friend in the first place and that if this hadn't happened now then it was only a matter of time before he showed his true colours anyway.
Unfortunately your circle of friends may well be much smaller than it was but those few friends who stay with you are true friends and the type of friends you need in your life.
The only thing I can promise you is that things won't always feel as bad as they do now. The hard thing about this journey is that it takes a long time until you hit rock bottom. As someone who is only one step up from rock bottom (we hit rock bottom last month) I can say that life will never be the same but that you do start coming to terms with the way life is going to be.
I have no idea why your OH's friend would want to do what he has done or to even think that it was acceptable to do this. What it does make me think is that he was never a true friend in the first place and that if this hadn't happened now then it was only a matter of time before he showed his true colours anyway.
Unfortunately your circle of friends may well be much smaller than it was but those few friends who stay with you are true friends and the type of friends you need in your life.
The only thing I can promise you is that things won't always feel as bad as they do now. The hard thing about this journey is that it takes a long time until you hit rock bottom. As someone who is only one step up from rock bottom (we hit rock bottom last month) I can say that life will never be the same but that you do start coming to terms with the way life is going to be.
The hatred I have for the media could never be put into words. I live in hope that the ignorance surrounding offences of this nature will change in time. Your 'friends' actions are unforgivable and cruel and I would guess stem from a place of ignorance. None of us ever thought we would be here on this journey I wish people would consider this before reacting. Sending you strength x
What despicable people. And to think they look down on us!! I'd rather be friends with you Flo any day than the likes of them.
I wish I could give you a hug but what I will say is that every day that passes is a day you don't have to relive and you will get stronger.
Now your friends know I'm sure you'll find that they are not all like that and some will help you through this. xx
I wish I could give you a hug but what I will say is that every day that passes is a day you don't have to relive and you will get stronger.
Now your friends know I'm sure you'll find that they are not all like that and some will help you through this. xx
Thank you to all you lovely ladies.
I appreciate your words more than you know, I am so grateful that I can turn to this forum in times of need. Thank you for making me feel better;
I had a massive panic attack last night on my way home, as I called my OH and asked what's going on and he explained everything on my drive home
continued my panic attack when I got home, it was one of the worst ones I've had
I can't believe someone can be so mean & cruel.
someone that we once trusted with our whole lives, they knew everything about us.
My OH or I have not done anything to hurt them, my OH and him worked together and my OH was let go at that work place when he was initially arrested so they haven't seen each other since that day.
I feel like it's 'mean girl' behavior and petty for no gain but to make myself & my OH suffer even more..
Thank you again to everyone, I appreciate you all so much. Xxxx
I appreciate your words more than you know, I am so grateful that I can turn to this forum in times of need. Thank you for making me feel better;
I had a massive panic attack last night on my way home, as I called my OH and asked what's going on and he explained everything on my drive home
continued my panic attack when I got home, it was one of the worst ones I've had
I can't believe someone can be so mean & cruel.
someone that we once trusted with our whole lives, they knew everything about us.
My OH or I have not done anything to hurt them, my OH and him worked together and my OH was let go at that work place when he was initially arrested so they haven't seen each other since that day.
I feel like it's 'mean girl' behavior and petty for no gain but to make myself & my OH suffer even more..
Thank you again to everyone, I appreciate you all so much. Xxxx
Flo
You will both get through this as hard as it feels like it now the sunshine will come back in to your lives,
We cannot control who walks away but we can control how we deal with it, you have enough going on and you just need to focus on what you want , you are so much stronger than you think and believe but you are so important and that is what will get you through, the media have so much to answer for but they are not worth your time or effort in to worring xx
You will both get through this as hard as it feels like it now the sunshine will come back in to your lives,
We cannot control who walks away but we can control how we deal with it, you have enough going on and you just need to focus on what you want , you are so much stronger than you think and believe but you are so important and that is what will get you through, the media have so much to answer for but they are not worth your time or effort in to worring xx
Hi Flo,
I am so sorry this has happened to you but like yourself we had horrendous media coverage once after the plea hearing and again 4 weeks later after sentencing. I had a total breakdown as I know my husband's case was on Google, Facebook as well as the local and regional press, even today 2 years down the line I bumped into someone who asked if I was still with my husband as she had read the press reports 2 years ago. I quickly gathered my thoughts and expressed to others I had no space in my head to deal with other people's self indulgent thoughts on what had happened and therefore would not be giving anyone a chance to express how they felt about my husband. Of course there was the worry and stress of vigilantes but that never happened and I learnt to walk outside again and deal with either being ignored or greeted and asked how I was doing. The press were and are the most vile organisation who sensationalise anything and everything, they destroy lives and those morons that read and believe everything that is written are sadly as bad. You will get past this, it is just very raw for you at the moment but this is when you will find out who your true and genuine friends and family are. The people who are toxic are not worth a fleeting thought, they are gone now. They are the people who we have no control over but we can control what we do. Stay strong Flo, get to your GP, tell your GP what has happened, they have to be non judgmental and will support you and signpost you to any services that can help you and your person. I get so upset reading about media posts as it does cause me to have flashbacks, but 2 years down the line and not ever having bought or touched a newspaper since things are so much easier (different maybe) but we are in a much better place now and getting on with our lives, I look to the positives about people not speaking to us, believe me there are some and you will recognise them.
Please take care Flo, stay strong and keep your head held high.
Best wishes
Katie xxx
I am so sorry this has happened to you but like yourself we had horrendous media coverage once after the plea hearing and again 4 weeks later after sentencing. I had a total breakdown as I know my husband's case was on Google, Facebook as well as the local and regional press, even today 2 years down the line I bumped into someone who asked if I was still with my husband as she had read the press reports 2 years ago. I quickly gathered my thoughts and expressed to others I had no space in my head to deal with other people's self indulgent thoughts on what had happened and therefore would not be giving anyone a chance to express how they felt about my husband. Of course there was the worry and stress of vigilantes but that never happened and I learnt to walk outside again and deal with either being ignored or greeted and asked how I was doing. The press were and are the most vile organisation who sensationalise anything and everything, they destroy lives and those morons that read and believe everything that is written are sadly as bad. You will get past this, it is just very raw for you at the moment but this is when you will find out who your true and genuine friends and family are. The people who are toxic are not worth a fleeting thought, they are gone now. They are the people who we have no control over but we can control what we do. Stay strong Flo, get to your GP, tell your GP what has happened, they have to be non judgmental and will support you and signpost you to any services that can help you and your person. I get so upset reading about media posts as it does cause me to have flashbacks, but 2 years down the line and not ever having bought or touched a newspaper since things are so much easier (different maybe) but we are in a much better place now and getting on with our lives, I look to the positives about people not speaking to us, believe me there are some and you will recognise them.
Please take care Flo, stay strong and keep your head held high.
Best wishes
Katie xxx
Hi, my son hit the local radio news, papers and usual internet shit plus full name and our address . I was absolutely mortified. Yes the detail was correct but I was inconsolable how they'd worded it. I wanted to scream out "it wasn't like that"!!!!!!!
We locked ourselves away for a time, scared to leave the front door etc, but thank goodness nothing happened and neighbours showed us nothing but support and kindness. If I met a friend i immediately said about the media - in some cases wish I hadn't, as they were unaware of what had happened to us.
So I quickly learnt to keep quiet and rise above the media circus and yes it moved on to some other poor sole.
All I can say is grit your teeth, it'll die down, but NOT a nice experience....... :-(
We locked ourselves away for a time, scared to leave the front door etc, but thank goodness nothing happened and neighbours showed us nothing but support and kindness. If I met a friend i immediately said about the media - in some cases wish I hadn't, as they were unaware of what had happened to us.
So I quickly learnt to keep quiet and rise above the media circus and yes it moved on to some other poor sole.
All I can say is grit your teeth, it'll die down, but NOT a nice experience....... :-(