2 weeks in after husbands arrest
Notifications OFF
My whole world has been smashed into pieces. The upset the pain is unbearable it has affected my whole family. We are in complete shock. We have been together for 8yrs married 7months and I've feel like I have been sold a lie. He was arrested at home for online child sex abuse its been going on for years way before I met him. I'm currently off work but trying to make plans to go back but I'm so up and down. I haven't seen him but there's apart of me that does to show him the hurt he has caused buy this awful crime he has committed. I know deep down I won't get the answers that I deserve. I feel this is so overwhelming as I never been in this situation were I'm posting on a forum and getting in contact to get help and support. But I do no that there is no going back so I'm struggling with letting go the person that I love and knew but there was another side to him that was hidden.
I'm sorry you find yourself here. The first weeks are awful.
On one of the other threads, there is a brilliant post on surviving the early days. This was a huge help to me.
It is all such a shock, don't do anything rash, be careful who you tell and maybe contact your GP for more MH support.
I am sending you all the strength and a virtual hug xx
On one of the other threads, there is a brilliant post on surviving the early days. This was a huge help to me.
It is all such a shock, don't do anything rash, be careful who you tell and maybe contact your GP for more MH support.
I am sending you all the strength and a virtual hug xx
Post deleted by user
K4's suggestion made me go back to re-read the thread mentioned and I agree it's really helpful. It's near the top of the forum called 'Understanding Why"
Don't rush into making any big decisions just yet. It takes a while to sink in and without you knowing exactly what he's done your mind is working overtime. On this journey you will find that sometimes what you fear he has done isn't always the case. When you're ready speak to him. It's important you hear it from him and not just what the police are saying. Xx
Maisie, 2 weeks is so very early and you are likely to still be in shock. Try and take one day at a time. Look after your physical health.
There are many of us here who will help you xx
There are many of us here who will help you xx
First of all, very big hugs.
I'm not sure I can offer much helpful advice as I'm only a month on myself.. I can, however, very much relate to the overwhelm & shock, it's a horrendous position to find yourself in, by no fault of your own. It's also very hard as not many in your life may understand the complexity the same way people on here might. Please don't bottle up, talk to anyone you feel comfortable with, be kind to yourself & lean on these forums. I find myself here almost daily.
I'm also here if you or anyone would like to chat, just PM me. I would think to speak to other women who "understand" would help us not to feel like the only one xx
I'm not sure I can offer much helpful advice as I'm only a month on myself.. I can, however, very much relate to the overwhelm & shock, it's a horrendous position to find yourself in, by no fault of your own. It's also very hard as not many in your life may understand the complexity the same way people on here might. Please don't bottle up, talk to anyone you feel comfortable with, be kind to yourself & lean on these forums. I find myself here almost daily.
I'm also here if you or anyone would like to chat, just PM me. I would think to speak to other women who "understand" would help us not to feel like the only one xx
Hi Maisie,
I'm so sorry you find yourself here on this nightmare of a journey but pleased you felt able to reach out. I agree with what everyone else has said. You will still be in shock at the moment as you're going through a traumatic event. Your emotions will be all over the place and you won't know whether you are coming or going.
I agree with all the advice that has already been given and want to let you know we are all here for you.
I'm so sorry you find yourself here on this nightmare of a journey but pleased you felt able to reach out. I agree with what everyone else has said. You will still be in shock at the moment as you're going through a traumatic event. Your emotions will be all over the place and you won't know whether you are coming or going.
I agree with all the advice that has already been given and want to let you know we are all here for you.
Sweetie so sorry you are here . We have all been where you are . Just slow it down a bit in your head . If you're not ready to see him write him a letter with questions (you'll have a lot ) see if hes going to be honest with you and write back .that's what me and my person dud and it was much easier for us to not be together at first. It's important you know the whole truth so you can live on and make an informed decision. Look after yourself. My GP was great. Have had 2 rounds of counselling too that helped too . I hear stop so are good or ring the support line. It will get easier, I promise. X
Thank you all for your messages of support its much appreciated. I'm just learning how to navigate around the forum which is something I'm not really comfortable with as I'm not a technology person and obviously been heightened due to current circumstances..I am currently communicating with him through letter to get things sorted. He would like to see me as he says he is the only person that can answer my questions but I feel at the moment I don't want to hear excuses cause I feel he gambled our relationship and marriage. I've been through one divorce as I was cheated on many times it was traumatic and devastating as I have 2 grown-up sons with him that he was never really there as a father. I always said to my current husband if you do anything to me we would be over as I can't deal with anymore upset. I can't see anyway back as I would loose my sons and my granddaughter. Why should I make him priority I feel so angry and sold a lie.
Thank you for being here and reading my rant. Big hugs all round.
Thank you for being here and reading my rant. Big hugs all round.
Ahhh Maisie you're 100 per cent right . You sound really strong so keep that head and and ro what's right for you and your family. I get the whole 1st marriage to a moron thing . I've been there and was and still am 3 years down the line , really sad at how he could do that to me (3 communication charges ) . Pm.me anytime and rant away x