Help. I feel sick.
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My person is my brother. My parents didn't tell me about the knock until it came to court. Sentencing is next week and I am dreading the media fallout. We live in a small town and our children go to the same school. I can't eat or sleep or be normal. I feel sick. It's all I think about. I can't do this, I am not strong enough. Please pray for me that it doesn't get picked up by the media. Thank you.
Sorry you find yourself here.
media is such a worry for us all. The good news is that not all cases make the media and for those that do they say it is all over relatively quickly.
Your family have been able to keep a lid on this information so far, which bodes well for keeping it out of the public domain in future.
Sending you hugs and strength
xx
media is such a worry for us all. The good news is that not all cases make the media and for those that do they say it is all over relatively quickly.
Your family have been able to keep a lid on this information so far, which bodes well for keeping it out of the public domain in future.
Sending you hugs and strength
xx
I really feel for you as the way you're describing your emotional state is exactly how I (and many many of us, if not all, on here) felt at first but I then had a long time to get used to the way things were, and in fact for our case it's still going on and on.
Those first weeks were dreadful and I was a mess, thinking life for us as a family was over, I felt full of shame and guilt about my mothering (it's my son) etc etc. I still have ups and downs, tears are near the surface and I occasionally wake up with my stomach churning but for much of the time things 'almost' feel normal - until the next trauma but I never go back to quite the same awfulness of first finding out which is where you are now but without much time to process things.
Do you know some facts about how things work in court? There is a lot of info on the Lucy Faithfull website and you can ring their helpline for a chat about it all which might help you feel slightly more in control but nevertheless this is a huge whammy of revelation for you to deal with and you will be in shock. I'm sure that your mum withheld this from you to protect you and maybe your brother too - when it's possible that a case can be deemed No Further Action then I guess it makes sense to be tempted to keep things secret but it was always going to come out as you say you have school age children so social services must be in the loop too although it sounds as if you haven't had any dealings with them yet.
I'm not going to pretend you have an easy journey ahead but on here you will find unconditional support as you navigate the future so please do post as often as you like or direct message me and/or others if you'd like some support privately. Do you see your brother? Again you must do what is best for your emotional state with that, whether to support him through his court case or to distance yourself. It's your choice entirely.
Sending you a big hug - the one slight benefit for you is that things will hopefully be resolved quite quickly but that doesn't minimise the effects of the shock you've had so be kind to yourself xx
Those first weeks were dreadful and I was a mess, thinking life for us as a family was over, I felt full of shame and guilt about my mothering (it's my son) etc etc. I still have ups and downs, tears are near the surface and I occasionally wake up with my stomach churning but for much of the time things 'almost' feel normal - until the next trauma but I never go back to quite the same awfulness of first finding out which is where you are now but without much time to process things.
Do you know some facts about how things work in court? There is a lot of info on the Lucy Faithfull website and you can ring their helpline for a chat about it all which might help you feel slightly more in control but nevertheless this is a huge whammy of revelation for you to deal with and you will be in shock. I'm sure that your mum withheld this from you to protect you and maybe your brother too - when it's possible that a case can be deemed No Further Action then I guess it makes sense to be tempted to keep things secret but it was always going to come out as you say you have school age children so social services must be in the loop too although it sounds as if you haven't had any dealings with them yet.
I'm not going to pretend you have an easy journey ahead but on here you will find unconditional support as you navigate the future so please do post as often as you like or direct message me and/or others if you'd like some support privately. Do you see your brother? Again you must do what is best for your emotional state with that, whether to support him through his court case or to distance yourself. It's your choice entirely.
Sending you a big hug - the one slight benefit for you is that things will hopefully be resolved quite quickly but that doesn't minimise the effects of the shock you've had so be kind to yourself xx
Please remember not all cases get reported in the media. This was my biggest worry and it totally took over my life, but it wasn't reported so just wanted to give you some hope xx
As others have said, many of us recognise the feelings you are describing all too well.
I'd recommend making an appointment with your gp. Mine really helped me with those overwhelming feelings.
Sending you love and strength. You will get through this. xx
I'd recommend making an appointment with your gp. Mine really helped me with those overwhelming feelings.
Sending you love and strength. You will get through this. xx
I remember the anxiety you are describing only too well. The early days of finding out what has happened are so traumatic as is the worry of the media. My person was in the media both online and in the paper twice. We live in a small area so everyone knew the media's version of what he had done. Fortunately he hasn't experienced anything bad as a result. The media was one of our biggest fears but when it happened we realised that we dealt with that just like we've had to deal with everything else.
if you haven't already done so, I would advise speaking with your GP for support and keeping in touch with everyone here on this forum.
if you haven't already done so, I would advise speaking with your GP for support and keeping in touch with everyone here on this forum.
I'm so sorry you have had to find this out, I understand the terror and devestation you must be feeling right now.
Like many of the others on here, our case did not go to the media. So there is a chance that it won't.
Really hoping for you that yours doesn't x
Like many of the others on here, our case did not go to the media. So there is a chance that it won't.
Really hoping for you that yours doesn't x