Does it ever get easier
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It's been a year and a half since the knock and I'm just wondering if it every gets easier
I stayed with my oh for a little after but I couldn't get passed it. I was heavily pregnant when it happened and we broke up not long after having my baby. However I'm now getting judged on every decision I've made. People either completely ignore my existence or making comments that's break my heart. Since the beginning of this I've just tried to do my best by daughter and tried to navigate this situation, why can't people understand that and stopped treating me like ive done this.
I have a good day and then get a comment and it just brings me down again and like what's the point in keep going.
Thank god I have my daughter to give me a reason to keep going as I don't know where I'd be without her.
I'm just so sick of the lack of compasion towards me and my daughter when all I'm trying to do is survive ????
I stayed with my oh for a little after but I couldn't get passed it. I was heavily pregnant when it happened and we broke up not long after having my baby. However I'm now getting judged on every decision I've made. People either completely ignore my existence or making comments that's break my heart. Since the beginning of this I've just tried to do my best by daughter and tried to navigate this situation, why can't people understand that and stopped treating me like ive done this.
I have a good day and then get a comment and it just brings me down again and like what's the point in keep going.
Thank god I have my daughter to give me a reason to keep going as I don't know where I'd be without her.
I'm just so sick of the lack of compasion towards me and my daughter when all I'm trying to do is survive ????
Oh darling. What a horrid time you're having. Also the first years of a child's life are so difficult too.
The thing that helped me was something a saw about grief.
if you imagine your distress is triggered by a button. The button is in a box and there is a ball in that box.
when things first happen, the ball is very big and hits the distress button a lot.
as time goes on, the ball gets smaller. It does still hit the button from time to time and the pain is the same. But it hits the button less often, it mostly just bounces around the rest of the box.
When I'm really feeling it, I tell myself that the ball is big today and that helps me to manage.
https://psychcentral.com/blog/coping-with-grief-ball-and-box-analogy#loss-as-a-reality
x
The thing that helped me was something a saw about grief.
if you imagine your distress is triggered by a button. The button is in a box and there is a ball in that box.
when things first happen, the ball is very big and hits the distress button a lot.
as time goes on, the ball gets smaller. It does still hit the button from time to time and the pain is the same. But it hits the button less often, it mostly just bounces around the rest of the box.
When I'm really feeling it, I tell myself that the ball is big today and that helps me to manage.
https://psychcentral.com/blog/coping-with-grief-ball-and-box-analogy#loss-as-a-reality
x
Thank you for this, just wish people had more compassion
Hi Natt, I really feel for you. I read your post and initially didn't respond as I didn't think I had anything to say that would help. I still don't think I can offer much help but I wanted to reach out to you. You have found yourself in this position through no fault of your own and people have no right to judge you.
Bringing up your daughter alone must be exhausting and it's so sad that you are not able to find the compassion you need from the people around you. If you haven't already done so I recommend contacting your health visitor or GP to let them know how you are feeling. They will be able to offer you support which in turn should help you to start feeling better.
I know it doesn't feel like it now but I want to reassure you that you won't feel like this forever
K4 I love the information you have posted about the grief ball. It makes so much sense and is really helpful.
Bringing up your daughter alone must be exhausting and it's so sad that you are not able to find the compassion you need from the people around you. If you haven't already done so I recommend contacting your health visitor or GP to let them know how you are feeling. They will be able to offer you support which in turn should help you to start feeling better.
I know it doesn't feel like it now but I want to reassure you that you won't feel like this forever
K4 I love the information you have posted about the grief ball. It makes so much sense and is really helpful.
Thank you ocean I appreciate your response and compassion.
I'm actually paying for private councilling which helps. Although another financial pressure.
Unfortunately where I'm based the GP wasn't much help and I wasn't eligible for free councilling as they did not deem me a risk to myself.
Unfortunately there is very little understanding and awareness for the family's caught in this nightmare.
I'm actually paying for private councilling which helps. Although another financial pressure.
Unfortunately where I'm based the GP wasn't much help and I wasn't eligible for free councilling as they did not deem me a risk to myself.
Unfortunately there is very little understanding and awareness for the family's caught in this nightmare.