Family member has recently been charged
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Just found it a family member is at the end of life with cancer makes me so angry that the other family member who is in prison doesn't have to deal with the awful stuff on the outside paying bills, going work watching people struggle with the devastation they have caused.Anyone else feel the same?
JKD , I'm sorry to hear about the member of your family who is ill. It must be hard having to cope with everything especially when the person who brought all this to your door is not having to deal with the situation. I can understand why you feel bitter about their selfish behaviour. Have you friends who can help? Maybe write to the offender explaining how their crimes have affected you and your family . Big hugs x
Hi,
I'm so sorry about your family member. I understand your anger, it does sometimes feel like our people who have offended don't have as much to face as we do. My person spent six months on remand and even now has less responsibility than I do day to day.
Now that we are over three years since the knock there are days when the anger subsides to a sadness because I know he would gladly share the responsibilities. I'm confident that your offending family member will be devastated that he won't have the opportunity to say his goodbye and will most likely be eaten up by the guilt of that.
If you feel you'd benefit from writing a letter explaining how you feel then do that. I'd recommend reading it every day for a week before sending it to assess whether it's truly what you want to say. I sent very few correspondence to my person and he still knows them word for word as he had lots of time to read and reread them. The me who wrote some of those things isn't who I am at all and in those moments I wanted him to suffer like I was xxx
I'm so sorry about your family member. I understand your anger, it does sometimes feel like our people who have offended don't have as much to face as we do. My person spent six months on remand and even now has less responsibility than I do day to day.
Now that we are over three years since the knock there are days when the anger subsides to a sadness because I know he would gladly share the responsibilities. I'm confident that your offending family member will be devastated that he won't have the opportunity to say his goodbye and will most likely be eaten up by the guilt of that.
If you feel you'd benefit from writing a letter explaining how you feel then do that. I'd recommend reading it every day for a week before sending it to assess whether it's truly what you want to say. I sent very few correspondence to my person and he still knows them word for word as he had lots of time to read and reread them. The me who wrote some of those things isn't who I am at all and in those moments I wanted him to suffer like I was xxx
Oh JKD, I'm so sorry to read about your family member and can only imagine how hard this must be. You have so much you are trying to deal with in such a short amount of time. One traumatic event is hard enough but you are now facing two.
I haven't had to deal with what you are facing so can't share with you a silmilar experience. What I have learned though is that there is no right or wrong way to feel during traumatic, life changing events. I'm hoping you have people supporting you and if you haven't already done so, I recommend contacting your GP for support. Sending you hugs and support.
I haven't had to deal with what you are facing so can't share with you a silmilar experience. What I have learned though is that there is no right or wrong way to feel during traumatic, life changing events. I'm hoping you have people supporting you and if you haven't already done so, I recommend contacting your GP for support. Sending you hugs and support.
Oh yes JKD I fully understand your anger. Watching my dads life end was very painful - even though he was an old lad. Sympathy sent as regards what's happening to your family member with their cancer battle.
Im sure my son has his own battles to fight in prison. But I sometimes think he is oblivious of what we are left with. As my husband gets older he needs help with physical jobs around the house, he has no help now and I have to do my best.
there's bill to pay and things to sort out but at times I feel he has the easier life in prison. No bills to pay, meals put infront of him etc, then I feel guilty for having those thoughts! Plus the thoughts of the reality he will have to face in the future.
yes. I understand where you are coming from x
Im sure my son has his own battles to fight in prison. But I sometimes think he is oblivious of what we are left with. As my husband gets older he needs help with physical jobs around the house, he has no help now and I have to do my best.
there's bill to pay and things to sort out but at times I feel he has the easier life in prison. No bills to pay, meals put infront of him etc, then I feel guilty for having those thoughts! Plus the thoughts of the reality he will have to face in the future.
yes. I understand where you are coming from x
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