Family and Friends Forum

Worriedfather

Member since
November 2023

1 post

Posted Thu November 16, 2023 8:50amReport post

I'm looking for some help and advise

In 2014 my brother in-law was charged and imprisoned for online abuse of an 11 year old girl.

My two daughters are getting to the age of that girl and I'm getting increasingly concerned about my girls and their safety

I'm now in the process of divorcing my wife (his sister) and therefore I'm not being involved in their family get togethers.

i don't know what to do but I'll never forgive myself if anything happens

K4

Member since
October 2022

612 posts

Posted Thu November 16, 2023 10:16amReport post

I can't specifically advise you, but social services will have to be involved if he has any contact with them. He will be on the Sex Offenders Register and will have a SHPO in place; part of which will probably cover contact with young people.



I should also like to reassure you that recidivism is low in this area and that online offending does not always lead to contact offending.


I don't know what rights you have as a father in this situation, but you could possibly refer your daughters to social services as at risk??

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

1005 posts

Posted Thu November 16, 2023 5:30pmReport post

Hi,

What has been the procedure for family gatherings up to this point? Did you have ss involvement when the children were born at all? If I'm honest I'd be reluctant to get ss involved right now unless you have legitimate concerns over your ex wife's ability to protect your children and continue with the supervision or non contact that you've been doing prior to separation. Divorce is hard on kids even if it's amicable and having the added stress on their mom wouldn't be ideal. Also if they have known their uncle in their lives then having contact stopped might not be in their best interests right now. Have you done any work with the girls about keeping themselves safe? If you're going down the court order route for sorting custody etc then there will be a family support worker assigned so you will have opportunity to voice your concerns and potentially suggest that the children don't have his phone number and vice versa until they are 18 or are old enough to be told about the offences. I'd also echo what has previously been said in that these crimes have one of the lowest rates of reoffending. I wish you all the best in adjusting into your new normal with your family xxx