Telling my sister
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Recently my dad came forward about his porn addiction to my sister. I know the full extent as it includes more than she can imagine. She was already shocked and tried to ask me what it entailed. But I'm very reluctant to tell her the full extent of his addiction.
Isn't it enough that she knows that there is an addiction? She is already grossed out by the addiction itself. I'm afraid she will cut all ties when she knows the whole extent. Also, she is already in a very bad place right now. I don't want to worsen her mental state.
Am I a bad person to kind of not tell her the extent of what is happening? I feel so bad that I need to always reflect now on what to say or do, I miss my free-spirited life from before.
Isn't it enough that she knows that there is an addiction? She is already grossed out by the addiction itself. I'm afraid she will cut all ties when she knows the whole extent. Also, she is already in a very bad place right now. I don't want to worsen her mental state.
Am I a bad person to kind of not tell her the extent of what is happening? I feel so bad that I need to always reflect now on what to say or do, I miss my free-spirited life from before.
Hi,
It feels like you are trying to protect everyone and having to deal with all the information yourself. I wonder if it's worth sharing your concerns with your sister around telling her all the information. If she knew all your concerns (Disgust with Dad, worried about her mental health, etc) then she can make an informed decision about knowing. Just a thought.
It feels like you are trying to protect everyone and having to deal with all the information yourself. I wonder if it's worth sharing your concerns with your sister around telling her all the information. If she knew all your concerns (Disgust with Dad, worried about her mental health, etc) then she can make an informed decision about knowing. Just a thought.
My gut feeling is that it's your dad who should be having this conversation with your sister - have you asked him to do this, or even write to her, as it's a very heavy burden for you to either keep secret or have to get right if you tell your sister.You are in an intolerable situation really, ('damned if you do/damned if you don't')
Also, you can't manage her response to things, much as you'd like to, so if she reacts negatively it's not your fault. That's another reason your dad should be the one to tell her. I'm so sorry you have this to deal with - discovering these offences has such a ripple effect on friends and family and it's devastating. Do look after yourself x
Also, you can't manage her response to things, much as you'd like to, so if she reacts negatively it's not your fault. That's another reason your dad should be the one to tell her. I'm so sorry you have this to deal with - discovering these offences has such a ripple effect on friends and family and it's devastating. Do look after yourself x