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Hi Smile - not our experience as far as we're aware (that awful niggle about whether we'll find out anything new with our son often rears its head) but having supported people from addictive backgrounds where there was no obvious trauma in their lives to lead them to taking drugs/drinking etc as pain relief, I can fully understand how this could happen with some men who use porn.

I believe that for some people the addiction hijacks the decision making part of their brain so they do things that shock us and make us ask why on earth the person we know so well would dream of doing that? Of course this isn't the case with all our people and I don't think that the police etc would be lenient if there was a brain test that could show this so we can only wonder about our person and not minimise what they've done. We certainly don't do that with our son but do reflect on him growing up and seeing certain addictive behaviours within the range of normal behaviour over the years.

Hope that isn't my usual woffle, it's an interesting thread x

Hi Smile, my sons experience seems to mirror what rainyday has outlined. Looking back on his life I can now see signs of an addictive personality. Following his arrest he was also diagnosed as having impulsive personality traits.
My son's offence was communication and not iioc. He says that when someone responded to him on line he felt good but that this high only lasted temporarily and then he would feel really bad about himself so he would make on line contact again in an attempt to make himself feel better. He was living in a vicious circle.

I now come to realise just how dark the internet is, I knew it was but not to the extent I know now. we are all only 3 clicks away from seeing something we don't want to see. How horrifying is that?? I honestly think that some people go on to seek comfort, and connection, and engage with people for sexual gratification (age appropriate), and then before you know it you're in a corrupt world and you think things are normal, as everyone in that space is doing it (ever been in a pub and laughing and joking with people and you walk away and think, that's not my sense of humor, why was I laughing at that as you got carried away? I know it's a low example as you're not going to get arrested for it, but its an example of how we try to fit in society) I also know that there are some people that just look for these images.



I am not saying that what they do is right and that it doesn't deserve a punishment, I don't agree with what my son did, but I do believe there are mitigated circumstances. There are victims of these crimes, and I have worked with some, it's horrendous. but I can understand how it happens if you are neurodiverse, have low mental health, or have addictions etc.

Apparently it's all to do with neural pathways. A but like it you're walking rheojfb a woods you take the easiest route and we meed to reprogram the route? Does this make sense!