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Sexual harm risk assessment

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Unhappy

Member since
June 2019

16 posts

Posted Wed July 31, 2019 2:46pmReport post

I’ve been living this nightmare since February this year. My husband has not been allowed to return to the family home but is now aloud to see children with just me supervising at home.

Social worker is to carry out a risk assessment on him in the next couple of weeks to determine if he can lower the risk and my husband can come home. I’m so confused with the whole process as we have been told at a previous meeting that he will never be allowed to come home and the Social worker told me in his last visit to see me and the kids that he doesn’t think they will be able to lower the level of risk due to the only thing found on his phone being a catergory A.

Has anyone else been in the same situation and do you know what sort of questions are ask at the risk assessment.

I can’t see this nightmare ever ending.

Janno

Member since
July 2019

50 posts

Posted Wed July 31, 2019 5:01pmReport post

Hi my son was removed from his home he shared with his fiancé and her 7 yr old son , since then the child’s dad has taken him from her even tho my son is staying away , now ss are saying she can’t have him back because she gave my son a reference !!! How is this allowed ? I’m fuming cos firstly my son was a better dad to him , at no point has that child been at risk in anyway shape or form! All rules set by ss have been abided by and always will be ! Surely there’s a way of this mum getting her child back? Any ideas??

Unhappy has ur husband been to court yet? As most sw will wait for the outcome of the courts before making a final decision , hang on in there lovely I do hope it don’t drag on for you xxx

Edited by moderator Thu August 1, 2019 8:54am

Partner

Member since
July 2019

221 posts

Posted Wed July 31, 2019 5:34pmReport post

Janno I'm sorry that this has happened to your son and particularly his fiance. This is what terrifies me. I want to reach out to my ex partner (partner until the knock, a week ago today). However I'm terrified that I will lose my children. My ex husband is a policeman and would take the kids away from me in a shot. I know the relationship with my ex partner is over now as my kids come first for me. However I just want to see how he is. Make sure he has legal representation, hear his side of it. Etc etc.

Janno

Member since
July 2019

50 posts

Posted Wed July 31, 2019 5:44pmReport post

Partner have u not got any mutual friends or a family member that can check on him for u??

have u a residency order to have the kids with you? Does ur ex trust u? The prob we have is her ex is a bully an it just adds water to the fire !

If ur ex is reasonable, knows and trusts you your kids should be fine xx

awful situation this isn’t it x

Partner

Member since
July 2019

221 posts

Posted Wed July 31, 2019 5:51pmReport post

Janno we have mutual friends, however I haven't told anybody. Our friends didn't see much of us simply as life got in the way. IE kids, families etc. We don't live near enough to ask. It would be a case of me contacting either him or his family, who I wasn't particularly close too. My ex husband is also after any excuse to have my kids. For no other reason than he wants to raise them. They are due to stay with him for 3 weeks and I'm terrified he won't give them back xx

Janno

Member since
July 2019

50 posts

Posted Wed July 31, 2019 6:09pmReport post

Awwww partner get some legal advice before he takes for 3weeks has he been told of what’s happened ? In our case sw pushed for “dad” to be told and then dramatised it beyond belief xxx

i know ur head must be all over the place but first sort ur kids with legal advice x then while they are away work out how to contact him if u feel u really want to xxx

hugs to you lovely xx

Partner

Member since
July 2019

221 posts

Posted Wed July 31, 2019 6:21pmReport post

Janno,

He knows. I was in such shock that I called him as soon as the police went. He's been ok and knows that I have gone for no contact. My partner knew how terrified I was of the kids Dad having my kids and now by his actions he has involved SS in our lives. So cross at him for that. Thinking of that actually makes me want not to contact him, however in my rational moments I worry about him. And I don't have many other people in my life. Thanks for your advice xxx

Janno

Member since
July 2019

50 posts

Posted Wed July 31, 2019 6:47pmReport post

Partner

u and ur kids come first !

Regardless of his reasons for doing this and destroying ur lives he’s an adult and knew what he was doing, u and the kids are what matter be strong u have plenty of time to consider contacting him xxx

Partner

Member since
July 2019

221 posts

Posted Wed July 31, 2019 7:14pmReport post

Janno,

Thank you. Your right. He has chosen to do this and now we are suffering the consequences. I think I'm in mourning for the loss of the man that I thought I knew. Not the reality of the situation I find myself in now. This is all so blooming unfair. Xxxx

Unhappy

Member since
June 2019

16 posts

Posted Wed July 31, 2019 9:57pmReport post

Jannie no not yet we’re waiting for CPS to make a decision and no one seems to know how long it takes. Social worker wants to close our case at the end of August come what may. Two options we stay as we are and this feels like no man land I’m not single and not married or if risk is lowered he will be allowed back home. I was hoping someone might have had experience with this assessment previously.

Janno

Member since
July 2019

50 posts

Posted Wed July 31, 2019 10:22pmReport post

Unhappy

my son was allowed home before he was charged and the case was closed only to be reopened as soon as we went to court then he was removed xx

SallyBlue

Member since
March 2019

252 posts

Posted Thu August 1, 2019 5:49amReport post

Hi Unhappy, you are still at the beginning and sadly it gets worse before it gets better. Expect the risk to be high for a while. It lowers over time. He needs to prove he is not a risk by attending any appointments such as a rehabilitation program. He needs to be open and honest and follow every rule.

Risk assessments are done frequently, dont be too concerned if he goes up to a higher risk as it can be due to unemployment or a move. Our last social worker was wonderful and explained everything to me, unlike the one we had first. She respected the fact my husband never denied his offending behaviour. He never made excuses of blamed anyone.

It's a long process. We were dismissed from social work earlier this year after 4 years.