Am being punished not
Notifications OFF
My husband has now completed his sentence of 1 year. 6 months in prison and 6 months on licence. Talking to a decoy online
I have supported him through it all eventhough I am discussed of what did.
SS are now saying that I need to do an assessment (course) so that I can be the supervisor as I am not allowed at the moment and he is still living with his parents. His parents are the ones who can be the supervisors.
It feels like I am being punished now for what my husband did. He has done so ?ell with his therapy etc. I believe he has changed his ways and we just want to be a family again.
I don't know what this assessment (course) is. I have been told if I Don't pass it he will never be allowed home. I am so worried about it.
I have supported him through it all eventhough I am discussed of what did.
SS are now saying that I need to do an assessment (course) so that I can be the supervisor as I am not allowed at the moment and he is still living with his parents. His parents are the ones who can be the supervisors.
It feels like I am being punished now for what my husband did. He has done so ?ell with his therapy etc. I believe he has changed his ways and we just want to be a family again.
I don't know what this assessment (course) is. I have been told if I Don't pass it he will never be allowed home. I am so worried about it.
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. If you have an email address you could reach out to them via email and ask for further information about the course/assessment. Even if you can get the name of it then someone on here might have been through it already and have some advice.
Fairly certain that they shouldn't make such broad statements about never being allowed to return home, if they haven't started any legal proceedings and your oh doesn't have the contact clause about being agreed by probation and ss then they can only escalate the plan the children are on and need to have significant concerns over their safety.
What assessments have his parents undertaken? Perhaps you could request that you attend contact with them initially and then they can be part of any meetings to discuss how you have all kept the children safe and what things can be put in place to keep your in laws involved but to a lesser degree once you're able to supervise so that it's phased in and not such a big jump for you all xxx
Fairly certain that they shouldn't make such broad statements about never being allowed to return home, if they haven't started any legal proceedings and your oh doesn't have the contact clause about being agreed by probation and ss then they can only escalate the plan the children are on and need to have significant concerns over their safety.
What assessments have his parents undertaken? Perhaps you could request that you attend contact with them initially and then they can be part of any meetings to discuss how you have all kept the children safe and what things can be put in place to keep your in laws involved but to a lesser degree once you're able to supervise so that it's phased in and not such a big jump for you all xxx
Hi Davier,
What you describe sounds to me like an assessment just to check you understand about keeping your children safe - I thought it was just done as an 'interview' type thing but perhaps some authorities do it as sessions. There are courses you can do with various charities like NSPCC to 'teach' about safety issues so do you think that's what was meant? Eg something to help you prepare a safety plan in readiness for a SW to assess you? If so then they should have given you a few ideas about where to look for these. For a start here's a couple for you
https://www.parentsprotect.co.uk/
https://circlessoutheast.org.uk/non-offending-partner-programme-2/
Please don't feel that this is a punishment, although it can feel like that, it's part of the process that has to be carried out when there's a big change in an offender's circumstances to make sure their children are safe. Looking at it positively it can be a step on the route to getting back to some kind of family life. The change you say you see in your partner is one positive thing on that journey and should go in your favour as long as you don't make it sound like he's now no risk at all. Sadly for our people, the very fact that they committed this kind of crime in the first place makes that impossible in the eyes of SS. But they should be committed to helping your children have a healthy relationship with their father and if it feels as if they're trying to do the opposite and keep him away from them (and it certainly seems like some SW's are like that!) you have every right to challenge them. What they told you is wrong as a blanket statement and they should be looking for ways to facilitate some kind of safe relationship between a child and their dad in their home if possible (unless the child is adamant they don't want this or the partner doesn't want them in the family home)
What you describe sounds to me like an assessment just to check you understand about keeping your children safe - I thought it was just done as an 'interview' type thing but perhaps some authorities do it as sessions. There are courses you can do with various charities like NSPCC to 'teach' about safety issues so do you think that's what was meant? Eg something to help you prepare a safety plan in readiness for a SW to assess you? If so then they should have given you a few ideas about where to look for these. For a start here's a couple for you
https://www.parentsprotect.co.uk/
https://circlessoutheast.org.uk/non-offending-partner-programme-2/
Please don't feel that this is a punishment, although it can feel like that, it's part of the process that has to be carried out when there's a big change in an offender's circumstances to make sure their children are safe. Looking at it positively it can be a step on the route to getting back to some kind of family life. The change you say you see in your partner is one positive thing on that journey and should go in your favour as long as you don't make it sound like he's now no risk at all. Sadly for our people, the very fact that they committed this kind of crime in the first place makes that impossible in the eyes of SS. But they should be committed to helping your children have a healthy relationship with their father and if it feels as if they're trying to do the opposite and keep him away from them (and it certainly seems like some SW's are like that!) you have every right to challenge them. What they told you is wrong as a blanket statement and they should be looking for ways to facilitate some kind of safe relationship between a child and their dad in their home if possible (unless the child is adamant they don't want this or the partner doesn't want them in the family home)
Hey
I had to do a 10 week course through ss it was with a family worker was pretty much the same as lff course x
I had to do a 10 week course through ss it was with a family worker was pretty much the same as lff course x
We had then SEN meeting yesterday. The course will start in February for 10 weeks. I am worried that I will fail the course and then it is my fail that he can not come home. My husbands parents just were told how to supervise but no assement was done on them.
My husband sees the boys at his parents home and I can be there as well but I can not be left on my own with my husband and the boys.
My husband sees the boys at his parents home and I can be there as well but I can not be left on my own with my husband and the boys.
Our family member has a similar sentence to serve fona similar offence thankfully no children involved nevertheless it's awful as he needs money that his OH has no more expensive solicitors for the pending divorce.I think his mum will help (mother's love I suppose). just wondering what happens when he is released job? somewhere to live? finances?never ending worry