Regional differences
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Hi
I had an idea that I wanted to run by all you to see if it's worth anything.
I was thinking that those of us who are comfortable doing so, could share their general region and what their experience has been like with the professionalism of the authorities.
Ie. one could say 'South East - police treated family members well, social services very judgmental and against contact' (made up example). This way maybe we could identify common themes and regions that could benefit from us and LFF raising awareness?
I had an idea that I wanted to run by all you to see if it's worth anything.
I was thinking that those of us who are comfortable doing so, could share their general region and what their experience has been like with the professionalism of the authorities.
Ie. one could say 'South East - police treated family members well, social services very judgmental and against contact' (made up example). This way maybe we could identify common themes and regions that could benefit from us and LFF raising awareness?
Ok I'll be brave.
Police were professional, considerate and non judgemental
SS with the exception of one social worker were judgemental, unprofessional, breached confidentiality and chaotic.
Probation are helpful, interested, kind, non judgemental and providers of hope.
I'm in the South of England.
Police were professional, considerate and non judgemental
SS with the exception of one social worker were judgemental, unprofessional, breached confidentiality and chaotic.
Probation are helpful, interested, kind, non judgemental and providers of hope.
I'm in the South of England.
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I'm in Northern Ireland. Police were ok but took ridiculously long from initial arrest to court date...5 years. SS were ok as well, generally, although had one who was incompetent. They talked the talk with a lot of big plans and ideas which never actually came to fruition, proabably due to being massively over stretched. Probation so far from what I'm told are good, in that they're helpful and understand but again massively over stretched and many appointments have been cancelled due to illness.
North west.
police were judgemental but professional.
sw were and still are judgemental, biast and rude. I've been treated more as a criminal than my person has. They are incompetent and unable to do the plan that they put in place. Still under their bs but I'm definitely considering suing them for the hell and detrimental effects they have caused with not just my children but me.
police were judgemental but professional.
sw were and still are judgemental, biast and rude. I've been treated more as a criminal than my person has. They are incompetent and unable to do the plan that they put in place. Still under their bs but I'm definitely considering suing them for the hell and detrimental effects they have caused with not just my children but me.
I'm in Nottinghamshire.
We're only 6 months in so have limited experience with all this. The oic was very brusque and probably judgemental, but one of the police officers seemed to have a lot of empathy and he phoned me as soon as they had interviewed my other OH. Haven't had much more contact from the police other than them telling us they've extended the bail.
Had a visit from SW soon after the knock and they spoke to me and my 15year old daughter. She seemed judgemental especially when I said I was staying with my OH, but they closed our case as my OH isn't a danger to our daughter. We haven't had any more involvement from SS but the bail conditions are still set with my OH having supervised contact.
We're only 6 months in so have limited experience with all this. The oic was very brusque and probably judgemental, but one of the police officers seemed to have a lot of empathy and he phoned me as soon as they had interviewed my other OH. Haven't had much more contact from the police other than them telling us they've extended the bail.
Had a visit from SW soon after the knock and they spoke to me and my 15year old daughter. She seemed judgemental especially when I said I was staying with my OH, but they closed our case as my OH isn't a danger to our daughter. We haven't had any more involvement from SS but the bail conditions are still set with my OH having supervised contact.
This is a good thread.
West Midlands
Police - some better than others, quite unprofessional at times and some have 0 empathy
Social worker - surprisingly open to work with us and non-judgmental, but I think we were just lucky
Health visitor - absolute disaster, judgmental, snidey and dishonest
West Midlands
Police - some better than others, quite unprofessional at times and some have 0 empathy
Social worker - surprisingly open to work with us and non-judgmental, but I think we were just lucky
Health visitor - absolute disaster, judgmental, snidey and dishonest
North West
Police were lovely with me, very supportive and extremely professional. They have always been very helpful when I have rung for updates.
Police were lovely with me, very supportive and extremely professional. They have always been very helpful when I have rung for updates.
Derbyshire
police with the exception of one were awful
social worker was a complete waste of time. Caused far more upset and seemed pretty clueless. Ignored messages and emails most of the time.
probation officer seems to be on a power trip and didn't even know what was in my sons SHPO
police with the exception of one were awful
social worker was a complete waste of time. Caused far more upset and seemed pretty clueless. Ignored messages and emails most of the time.
probation officer seems to be on a power trip and didn't even know what was in my sons SHPO
I am in Lancashire
The police have been excellent non judgemental
SS have not been helpful and not supported me through this at all with regard to contact my OH seeing our boys
MOSOVO have been rude and threatening towards my husband. Formal complaint put in
Probation have been good just lark of mental health services avalable.
The police have been excellent non judgemental
SS have not been helpful and not supported me through this at all with regard to contact my OH seeing our boys
MOSOVO have been rude and threatening towards my husband. Formal complaint put in
Probation have been good just lark of mental health services avalable.
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Rainy day - south west and exactly the same on both counts x
Also South West and the same as above.
Mosovo or whoever it is that monitor SOR have been ok
Probation have been really nasty though, the pre sentencing report has knocked us for 6 this week, it's horrific and inaccurate - by far the worst service so far, full of judgemental comments such as saying he is a sexual deviant (7 images 5 years ago ..)
Mosovo or whoever it is that monitor SOR have been ok
Probation have been really nasty though, the pre sentencing report has knocked us for 6 this week, it's horrific and inaccurate - by far the worst service so far, full of judgemental comments such as saying he is a sexual deviant (7 images 5 years ago ..)
South Derbyshire here
police were actually very respectful on the day of the knock and in the weeks after the oic phoned me to do a welfare check on me and my partner. He was also professional respectful at my partners interviews ( I sat and waited outside and he talked to us after)
SW one I spoke to lied about what my partner had done, she wouldn't know the details as the police didn't tell them. SW that came to talk to my son ( 15, nearly 16 at the time) was young and a bit judgemental. I told her my fears about the media and she was very much " well your partner made his bed and you are collatorol damage. They closed the case and not heard since. My kids are nearly 21 and 18 now that's how long it's gone on for!
mosovo for a SOR check. I didn't meet them but what my partner said about the comments they made I already don't like them! Things like " oh most wives leave their husbands" and just personal views. If I had been there I would of spoke my mind but my partner was terrified of appearing defensive!. He is in court soon for sentencing, nearly 3 years since the knock! It's a joke! The justice system is a mess!
police were actually very respectful on the day of the knock and in the weeks after the oic phoned me to do a welfare check on me and my partner. He was also professional respectful at my partners interviews ( I sat and waited outside and he talked to us after)
SW one I spoke to lied about what my partner had done, she wouldn't know the details as the police didn't tell them. SW that came to talk to my son ( 15, nearly 16 at the time) was young and a bit judgemental. I told her my fears about the media and she was very much " well your partner made his bed and you are collatorol damage. They closed the case and not heard since. My kids are nearly 21 and 18 now that's how long it's gone on for!
mosovo for a SOR check. I didn't meet them but what my partner said about the comments they made I already don't like them! Things like " oh most wives leave their husbands" and just personal views. If I had been there I would of spoke my mind but my partner was terrified of appearing defensive!. He is in court soon for sentencing, nearly 3 years since the knock! It's a joke! The justice system is a mess!
So we're Nottinghamshire.
The police were pretty polite on the surface but pretty condescending and also kept making remarks about my OH knowing me and our child could hear it all. They also kept consoling me with comments that felt pretty insensitive to me. I was also told things like 'he'll probably be home soon as most men know they've done wrong, want to talk and get it out and won't request a solicitor'. He luckily did request a soliciy.
Social services absolutely horrendous. Came in throwing around the P-word, telling me to leave right now. Saying if I stay and something happens to the kids, it's on me. Also told me that any child is good for a pedophile, including their own and anything he's done with our child before is grooming (eg spoon feeding a child is grooming for oral sex). I have PTSD due to this.
The police were pretty polite on the surface but pretty condescending and also kept making remarks about my OH knowing me and our child could hear it all. They also kept consoling me with comments that felt pretty insensitive to me. I was also told things like 'he'll probably be home soon as most men know they've done wrong, want to talk and get it out and won't request a solicitor'. He luckily did request a soliciy.
Social services absolutely horrendous. Came in throwing around the P-word, telling me to leave right now. Saying if I stay and something happens to the kids, it's on me. Also told me that any child is good for a pedophile, including their own and anything he's done with our child before is grooming (eg spoon feeding a child is grooming for oral sex). I have PTSD due to this.
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Omg Hopeless that is absolutely disgusting and very unprofessional what that SW said! Spoon feeding is grooming for oral sex!! I've never heard anything more ridiculous in my life! Did you complain? Honestly I'm really shocked at that!
Hopelesscare
i can't believe what I've just read. And these are the people supposed to be keeping the kids safe xx
i can't believe what I've just read. And these are the people supposed to be keeping the kids safe xx
Hopelesscared
That is awful and completely unprofessional what the SW said. We're also in Nottinghamshire and our experiences of the police and SS are completely different. Wasn't nice to have them intruding in our house but at least they didn't come across as being judgemental and saying things that aren't necessary. Hugs x
That is awful and completely unprofessional what the SW said. We're also in Nottinghamshire and our experiences of the police and SS are completely different. Wasn't nice to have them intruding in our house but at least they didn't come across as being judgemental and saying things that aren't necessary. Hugs x
I never complained because I was too scared she'd retaliate.
She told me spoon feeding is grooming for oral sex and because I've been in the room during the feeding, I've unintentionally told the child 'mommy is okay with what daddy does'. She also told me that brushing hair is grooming the child so they understand it's okay if daddy hurts you a little...
She told me spoon feeding is grooming for oral sex and because I've been in the room during the feeding, I've unintentionally told the child 'mommy is okay with what daddy does'. She also told me that brushing hair is grooming the child so they understand it's okay if daddy hurts you a little...
Mind you, I've had a lot of therapy since and have been able to move on from these thoughts and guilt - guilt for something that never happened.
Hopeless, I've been thinking about what that SW said to you all day!. No wonder you got PTSD. It's very very unprofessional she should be disciplined for it. Did you complain. I just don't understand the spoon feeding comment?! How the hell does she connect that to grooming???
Hopelessscared, that's ridiculous. How else are you supposed to feed a baby?
I actually think your social worker is the disturbed one for connecting spoon feeding with oral sex.
I actually think your social worker is the disturbed one for connecting spoon feeding with oral sex.
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